I don't...

Well it has pretty much been a whole semester since I last posted on here and it has been an eventful one to say the least. I do not know where my heart or mind has been. I have been focused on school, socializing, and mixing some baseball in wherever I can. When the semester started, I had the whole year laid out and was ready to graduate in May on what would be the best day of my life to date. Needless to say, God has shaped me and done his best to convince me of a better plan for my life. I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing in six months but I know that I want to continue to be a better person and I want to continue to strive for things that are not of this world. Over the last three years, I have convinced myself that there are certain things I am not good enough to accomplish and I let that affect the person that I was becoming. I kept digging myself a grave and I was okay with that. I tried to post on here so that I could try to straighten things out from time to time but I would only do it long enough to make myself feel better about myself and then I would once again move on. I hurt myself and countless other people time and time again but it never really affected me because I could just move on and convince myself that I was okay. I left scars in myself and other people and I do not know that I have even reflected on all of them yet. I do know that I am ready to leave the past behind and look to what the future holds. 


God has blessed me immensely even when I have been unfaithful. He keeps me on my feet and has put people around me that tell me to keep pressing on. I have resolved to clean things up in many areas of my life. I vaguely remember posting something like this over the summer but this time I am going to make a valiant effort. I realized the other day that when I call out to God when I am in need, it is not just because people are watching and I want to look good. I am usually alone and am desperate but not quite desperate enough to make a change. I know I have tested his patience time and time again but he has remained faithful to me. Paul encourages us not to go on sinning so that grace may increase and at times I feel like I have completely ignored that warning. Our sacrifice has already been made and if we choose to accept that someone has taken our place, then we will have freedom. We need to exercise our freedom in Christ, not in the world and what it has to offer. God has given us and will give us more than we could ask or imagine, we need to step up and take it. I need to step up and take it. I have been thinking a lot about the future lately and for the most part it is uncertain. Where I will be in just 4 short months or so, I have no idea, what I hope to have accomplished by then is the relationship that God has been yearning for ever since I told him that I wanted to be his. If I can attain to even half of what I already have in God, I would be excited but not content, I need more and more.  


I hope that I can share my journey with whoever reads this, I hope to show that God has changed my mind more than my heart because my mind is what is driving me away. Maybe it is my heart and I do not know it but I really feel that it is my mind because my heart aches for God. Thanks for all who have supported me and I know that God will bless you even more than he has blessed me. Hope you all have a great day!


God Bless,
Joseph Robinson

Perfect Love

I have written about love before on here and I have said many things regarding the unconditional love of Christ. I think people struggle everyday with loving others (I know I do). Whether it is just me getting upset with others or my displeasure with the way people drive, think, or act. I get so frustrated with people and sometimes I say that I just downright hate people. Sometimes I think things would be easier if I could just avoid people on a daily basis because I like to think that they are the root of my problems. I know that occasionally I have problems because of other people but usually it is because I make something my problem or I blow something up (figuratively). I know there is plenty of room in my heart to grow and I think that I have a way to go before I can truly love others but I know that I am capable of it. If you ask any of my friends, they would more than likely tell you that I would go to any length for them and that is because I love them. When it comes to love, I have always and will always believe that a major component is that you would go to any length to make somebody happy. Sometimes it is not always beneficial for us to love because it can be painful at times (look at Christ on the cross), however, we see that sacrificial love is the idea of true love and it shows that no matter what you have to do, you will do it for the benefit of another. I firmly believe you can show love to others without knowing them or even having feelings for them. There is a big difference between loving someone and falling in love with them on a passionate level. God and Christ have exhibited both of those traits with us as humans, whether you choose to believe it or not is your own opinion. I think that God created us to exhibit both forms of love and we have distorted it because of the world that we have created for ourselves. We love many things but that is not true love, it is love of something, not love of a person or the expression of love. I think of things we love more of as a favorite rather than a love.

I have pretty much bared myself on here and I will say that I like some "chick flicks" and the other night I DID watch Beastly alone. One particular line stuck out to me, the main character Kyle states, "My dad always said, 'how much people like you is directly proportional to what you look like'.... They hated me." Kyle was considered the most popular person in school and the best looking but his personality sucked and he did not quite understand the notion that people talked behind his back and they did not like him because of the way that he treated those that were not as good looking or those who were, "losers." Love looks past the imperfections of a person and we see this in 1st Corinthians 13:10, "But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears." Now this does not mean that you will find someone perfect, it means that when the right person comes along, nothing else matters, you deal with the flaws because all you can see is perfection. Now there are going to be bumps in the road and it is going to take work but when there are problems, it is the notion of perfection that drives you to see past the flaws and hardship. You battle for people that you love, you do whatever it takes to ensure their success and you try to drive them to the top. If you do not believe me then look at the words of God and Jesus in the Bible. There are mistakes almost from beginning to end in the Bible but God and Jesus see past that to push people towards perfection because they are able to exhibit unconditional love and never give up on those that they care most about (which is everyone). His pursuit of us is never ending and he will fight for us until our last breath is taken. My prayer is that I can find a way to love all people this way but until then, I will continue to love those that I already have in my life and the ones that are coming into my life that I feel I can love. I will probably never love everybody but I think that if I strive to and I can overcome some of my personal feelings, I can strive to and continue to work on it for a lifetime.

Thanks again for reading, it has been a great week and I have a somewhat long one ahead of me. I am leaving for Oklahoma on Monday morning and heading to Texas on Wednesday and then up to Manhattan sometime next weekend. I have some friends who need prayer, mostly health problems, if you could, please keep them in your prayers.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Battle Call

I consider myself a fairly free thinker and I usually say what is on my mind depending on the situation. I think of some of the craziest scenarios in my head and think of what I would do in certain situations. For example, I found myself thinking about being in a scenario where there was a national emergency (plane hijacking, shooter, bomber, etc.) whatever the case may be and what would I do if I had the chance to give my life to protect others. As I played a particular possibility in my head I knew exactly what I would do in defense of my family and the good of my country. I know that given the right circumstances I would give myself up for those around me, not because I would be considered hero but because I have a deep care for others and I want others to have a good life. I have had to drop my pursuit of relationships, friendships, or sharing of the Gospel for the simple fact that I needed to do it for the other person. I have stated before that some people are only apart of your life for a short amount of time but their impact can be significant and there are others who are there by your side for the purpose of helping you along. I started listening to a song yesterday and the lyrics state, "This is a battle call, gather soldiers, time to go to war. This is a battle song, brothers and sisters, time to go to war." The lyrics resonated with me in that as a Christian, my battle call has been sounded. I have been asked to go and fight for the lives of those around me, to give up my life for the cause of Christ that I might lead others to do the same. I have been truly blessed to live the life I have lived so far and I would not trade it for anything. It is time to go to war and to fight for something that is truly worth living for.

One Bible story that comes to mind when I think about answering the call is David. He was just a shepherd who had no significance to anyone other than his father and his brother in that he was able to tend to the flock while they were away doing other business. When David showed up to bring food to his brothers, he found a more significant purpose. Day by day went by and none of the other soldiers in the Israelite army would stand up to Goliath because he was a formidable opponent. Not only was he tall but he was very powerful. I imagine him being able to basically knock guys out with one punch and his reach would be so long that it would take a long distance weapon to take him down. David saw the opportunity to step up and save his people and his family from being taken captive by the Philistines. Even when no one else believed in him, David knew that he had to answer the call. What is so surprising is that the call did not even come from his own camp, it came from across the field where Goliath would stand every morning and mocked the Israelites and challenged anyone to come and face him. When I think of a battle call, I think of our own people sounding the alarm that it is time to fight but this time was different. The enemy was practically begging for someone to come out because he thought that he would slaughter anyone who would come against him, Goliath should have just walked away but he was arrogant and wanted to pick a fight. Just about everyone knows the story, David convinced the Israelites to allow him to go forward and he used a sling and a rock to take down Goliath. Not only did David answer the call but he won the war because he stood up for what he loved and he had faith that is rarely seen. I feel that we are called out on a daily basis by the devil and his demons to face the world because they think they can get the best of us. Whether it be by causing us to sin or discouraging us in our pursuit of sharing the Gospel, the devil wants us to battle him because he thinks he can win. Unfortunately for him, we have the same opportunity to win like David did because God is still on our side! We have nothing to fear because our God is with us no matter what the circumstances are and he will aide us in our endeavor to complete is work. So I encourage you to answer the battle call and do not allow yourself to be bullied by the enemy!

Thank you all for reading, I truly believe this is a blessing to some people and for those who have commented, thank you! Please continue to pray for me as I am heading back to the midwest in a few days and I have a long road ahead of me!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

I miss...

I miss being a kid, I miss being innocent, I miss not having much to worry about, I miss the days of hanging out with friends from morning to evening, I miss the days filled with video games from wake up to bed time, I miss the cheesy birthday parties with goofy gifts, I miss showing up to play baseball and win or lose you still got to do something fun afterward, I miss the innocent crushes, I miss having my day planned out for me, but most of all I just miss how easy things were. I wish I had days that were carefree and I wish that the consequences of my disobedience were not as great as they are today. I wish I could go back and enjoy all my favorite moments over again. I do not want to go back in time to fix things or do things differently, I just want to relive the great memories. My scars make me who I am today but the good experiences will only be memories. I am thankful for the memories I have with good friends, with old friends, and even the friends that I will never see again. I think about the friends that I do have and am so glad that they are there for me. I have one particular friend in Arizona whom I would not trade for anything. I get along with her so well and even though we do not hang out or talk much, we have a great time when we do hang out. We met junior year and we spent some time together and those were probably our most fun times together. Senior year we talked a little bit and even had a class together which was fun, she got in trouble a lot which was always hilarious but through all that I most enjoyed getting a call or text asking for help on the homework. Sometimes I tend to think of myself as not a very good friend but something she wrote in my yearbook senior year has stood with me through the years and I think it has been the core of why I do not give up on some people very easily. She wrote, "Joe, you are such an amazing friend, even when I am not and it means a lot." I think that is what having friends is all about, even when you are treated bad (intentionally or unintentionally), you stick with those people through whatever it is and you try to not lose touch with them because they will impact you more than you could ever imagine.

There are many different examples throughout the Bible of true friends and standing up for each other. We see division among friends as well as reconciliation, we see people betrayed and people saved, it is truly amazing the life lessons that can be found in the Bible. One of the great examples of friendship is between David and Jonathan. Jonathan covered for David when Saul was trying to kill him and he did exactly as David asked. We see that Jonathan practically put his own life on the line for his best friend and to find out if his dad really intended to kill him. In 1st Samuel 20:12-17, they make a pact and it is a lifelong, once in a lifetime agreement to always be friends no matter what happens. Jonathan wants David to understand that no matter what his father wants, he will always be on his side and he will do his best to protect him. These friends shared a special bond that not many people are able to for fear of mistrust or just simply being insecure. If David and Jonathan had never seen each other again, they would still have the memories of their childhood together and they would never forget each other. At times, it is difficult for us to get along with our friends or with other people in general but God has placed people on earth that we can trust and that we can open up to if we allow ourselves to. We all have our own perception of what life should be like for ourselves and a lot of times we chase after that while leaving others behind. Do not leave your friends in the dust as you continue to grow. Share what is going on and allow them to provide insight or come along with you on the journey because you never know what they can do to help. Instead of missing the days when things were great, carry on the tradition and good times by keeping people in your life whom you can really appreciate and hopefully invest in as well. Always be thankful for the people that you have and never give up on those who have been troublesome but you know you can rely on.

Thanks for reading, hope you all are having a great day. Let me know if you need prayer for anything and please continue to pray for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Speed

Life seems to go by quicker with each passing day. I have a niece who will be 10 this December, the majority of my brothers and sisters are into or close to their 30s, I have a year left of undergrad, and the days just seem to get shorter and shorter with time. I do not know why it seems that things are going by so fast but I need to try and slow it all down some way, some how. In the past I have really sped things up and almost moved on to some important steps in my life before I was ready. I have found that I want things to happen on my terms and not on God's or anyone else's and that usually leads to me ruining something or giving up on it before it is time. I have been foolish at times and have given into my own desires but I have also stood up for myself and my belief and left myself feeling pretty good. It is all just a matter of how you approach things and determining whether or not you are going to push the boundaries of what you believe and where you stand on certain things. I find some things so much easier to control than others and I can stand against some things easier than others. I guess we all have our giants that we face and we all have our own Samson spot. We all are weakened by something but we need to prevent those areas from being attacked and left vulnerable. Samson lost his sight because he left himself open to an attack but God still used him to accomplish something great. Let us become aware of what hinders us and begin to ensure that we are not brought down by those things, I believe those are the walls that keep us from attaining all that we want to in Christ and it is up to us to ask for help to break down those walls and find the freedom that has been promised to us.

We all have days and moments where we find ourselves in a bind. Whether we are spiritually falling apart, a relationship is falling apart, we have lost someone, or whatever the case may be. I have had some pretty crummy days and I have pushed myself into some tight spots but I always seem to get back up and I really have no idea how I do it. I wish things were easier most of the time but I do not think that I would ever grow or get stronger and so for the trials and suffering, I am thankful a thousand times over. My prayer for today is Psalm 119:65-72 which states, "Do good to your servant according to your word, O Lord. Teach me knowledge and good judgement, for I believe in your commands. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold." Let us remain in good faith and fight for the promises that God has given to us for he is faithful forever. Some days I just do not know how much more I can take but then I think about what he did on the cross for me and I know that I will have the strength to make it through, I may not always be the happiest person but I am working on that and I am trying to turn things around. It has been a rough road and there is still a long way to go, I hope that I can figure out how to smooth things out and slow things down. Until then... we'll see what happens.

Thanks for reading, hope that all of you have a good day/night and if you need prayer for anything, do not hesitate to ask.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Refuge

It is all becoming real, I have two nights left in Arizona, a weekend in California and then I head back to the midwestern/northern part of the country. I get to write the script for the next 9 months with every passing day and I wholly intend to include God in every part of it. I am going to be searching his plan because my decisions in the past have led to my downfall and my unhappiness. If there is one thing I have learned over the first three years of college, it is that I need to be more careful and I need to adapt quickly. Unfortunately I have been unable to adapt to NCU very quickly and I have been miserable because of it. Everyone tells me that I am the one who makes NCU miserable for myself and that is very true but I think that I want it to be miserable because I feel like I made the wrong choice in going there. I have had times where I would think that it was the best place for me, usually it is just me being in the right place at the right time but I think in the overall picture, many people would be just as fine if not better off if I had not chosen to go to school in Minnesota. The factors that brought me to Minneapolis were not the right ones but I am so glad I have the opportunity to work with youth and invest in the lives of young students. The leadership role I have been given at school has been such a great learning experience even though I have not always been the best role model. I can hack it on the field and in the classroom but life is just rough and I have made mistakes. It rocks me to the core that I have been messed up for awhile and it is all within my control to change and I have been and hope to continue the changes I am making so that I can be stronger this year and for the rest of my life. I have to remember that changes should not just be temporary, they need to change my lifestyle and never return so that I can actually mature and learn from where I have been.

I have said this before and restated it in many different ways but I find rest in God alone and he is my peace in times of trouble. I believe he has given me the gift of baseball to release anger, to relax, to find peace, to just be me. I am forever thankful for the ability to play and just have a good time, God has blessed me immensely and I do not know what I would do without the gifts that he has given me. Psalm 62:5-8 states, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." I like the part that says my salvation and honor depend on God. Everything that I do, my future, my eternity are all dependent upon his truth, his plan, his way that he has prepared for me. I have received so many honors, in school, sports, and other activities and none of it would have ever been possible without him. In my times of turmoil and pain he was always there to push me through whether I knew it or not. I believe that God can drive you in the right direction even when you are not seeking him because subconsciously he is always with us, he is ingrained in us as our creator and nothing can ever take that distinction away from him. He will be our father whether we choose to acknowledge him or not and he will always be crushed if we do not return to him. Let us not forget just how easily accessible God is to us and his comfort, his peace, his rest, is all just a call away for every single one of us. This has been my saving grace in situations of doubt and confusion. Seek him and find his wonder anew everyday!

Thank you all for reading, I hope that I can contribute to your daily walk and that you are inspired by some of what I write. If there is ever anything that you take from this, I am forever grateful to God that he is using this to help people. Please continue to pray for me, God is working in my heart and I am doing my best to facilitate the growth needed to live strong and fight for his kingdom daily.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Another Day

Well it is near the end of yet another monday in the summer and though I still have several weeks of summer left, I begin my roughly 9 day trip back to Minnesota starting next monday. I have definitely enjoyed my time in Phoenix but am not entirely sure I am prepared for another year in Minnesota. Good news is that if the last few years are any indication, it will all be over before I know it and I will be pulling into the driveway of my house in a little over 9 months with a bachelors degree and looking forward to the future. I am not going to miss out on anything this year and I will cherish the memories and moments that I get to spend as part of my senior year but I will definitely be ready to walk across that stage and move on. I find this year completely different from what I was expecting my senior year in high school. I wanted my final year of high school to go by slow because I knew that those were going to be some of the greatest moments of my four years there and I was right because I always wish I could go back to high school and relive those moments. As for college... I just wish it would end sooner rather than later. Maybe I am anxious to start my career and to settle down and start a family but I really just think it has to do with the atmosphere and just knowing that things could have been different if I would have made better decisions. This year I am determined to try and make things different, not only will I make better decisions but I am going to try and distance myself from any trouble that I could get myself into. Let God guide your footsteps and you will be just fine, he will carry you through the tough times and his guidance is impeccable

From time to time I like to read Proverbs and see what kind of wisdom I can gain or just what kind of interesting lines I can find. Some of it can be rather common sense but other advice found in there is pure God genius. There were two that stood out to me today and I think they are great for all people and their truth is outstanding. Proverbs 29:1 states, "A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed -- without remedy." Basically, those who continue to do bad even after having been caught and reprimanded, will end up on a destructive road with no way out. We cannot continually find ourselves in the pit and expect to always find favor with those around us, it is very difficult to support people who always put themselves in a bad position. Fight for your friends, family, and even those you do not know but you can only do so much and if they choose not to take your hand when you have extended it over and over, you have to find someone else that you can help and maybe try again later. The other verse is found in Proverbs 29:6, which states, "An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad." I have said this in one form or another before, when I am in the word and chasing after God, I am happy more often than not. However, when I am caught in sin, I feel like I am worthless and that I could do better but I fell like there is no way out for me. Sin is very controlling over our lives and it looks for opportunities to sneak in. We need to protect ourselves and ensure that we have guarded our hearts and minds so that we can stand firm in the faith and allow God to work through us.

Hopefully you all had a great monday and are not too tired to finish the rest of the week already. I believe God has a purpose for every day, every moment, and every second of our lives. We can change the world, we can change people, we can change the course of history but we have to allow ourselves to be used for the correct purpose. I am praying for all of you and hope that you will continue to pray for me, even when I am not posting I could definitely use it.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Gonna be O.K.

The last few weeks have been really weird, there has been a lot of stuff going on but at the same time I have been extremely bored and that has probably been the worst part about this summer. I am pretty sure I have said it before that when I am bored I usually find myself getting into trouble or just doing something really stupid. In some respects I have been really good about that recently and I have been reading this book that I got at the world series as well as starting my blog back up again. I probably should have started earlier in the summer and it would have made the summer go by a lot quicker and more than likely a lot smoother. Other than the fact that I did not work this summer, I feel like this summer was rather successful. I helped out at my old high school a lot and tried to set a good example and provide advice for some of the players and I got some work in on my own hitting and taking ground balls. I know I could have done so much more but I am happy with the way it all played out and I am glad that I was given the opportunity to get to know a young group of guys who try to come out and play with passion on a daily basis. I get discouraged easily and sometimes I feel like I do not know what to do with my day or what I am going to do to get through a situation (not just temptation). We all have moments in our lives where we feel like everything is falling apart just as I mentioned with Job. God has a plan and at times it can seem like the most disturbing and trial filled plan but we have to rely and believe in his word to carry us through the day. We lose friends, we lose family, our relationships get shattered, and sometimes people just leave. Life sucks and is really difficult at times but I know one thing no matter what happens and it is that in the end, everything will be O.K.

You can ask just about any of my friends and they would probably agree that I am a downer more often than not and I could use a little joy in my life. Usually when I am alone and I think about positive things or listen to uplifting music but when I get around people I can shut down really fast. I always tend to forget that God and Jesus are right there for me to lift me up and tell me "you are going to get through this." On the outside I like to think I can be strong but what is deep down starts to fight its way out and it becomes evident that things are not okay with me in just a few moments. I find myself battling to be strong but in the end it is just a facade and I fall apart. Hebrews 13:5-6 states, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' " Nothing that happens to me on Earth can keep me down because I have a promise that I will never be left or forsaken and that means that everything will be O.K. We are going to get down and we will be disappointed, we will have heartbreak but in the end, we will be fine and we will move on. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive to some people but if we take ahold of the promises that God has given us, we can overcome any hardship, any trial, or any obstacle that may stand in our way in our pursuit of happiness. Healing takes time and so does learning and growing from mistakes, we like things to be immediate but it does not work that way and we just need to stay focused on making it through and understanding that everything will be O.K. as long as we remain in the arms of God and seek his face.

I took a run in the 108 degree weather and though it was difficult, I tried to push myself a little bit and was surprised at how far I made it. We tend to give up in life when things get difficult, shutting down is so much easier but it eliminates the chance for growth. Do not take the easy road on any given day. God has made this day and you should thank him for it, every breath is a blessing so try to cherish it and make the most of it! Thanks for reading, have a great Sunday.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Worth It

My last post was more or less about persevering through times of doubt and even times of tribulation in your Christian walk. It is rather easy to just walk away when you feel like you are no longer "good enough" to be Christian or a follower of Christ. The thing is that God calls the broken and those that cannot figure it out, to dive deeper into him so that they can learn and grow in him and reflect the standards that God has called all Christians to. As I have said before, everyday is a struggle and it is an important battle that is fought in the heavenly realm as well as in our souls for control and ultimately for one side to call you "theirs". It is a scary thought that one day we will end up either in heaven or hell and we will spend the rest of eternity there. We make decisions everyday on a very small scale but everyday the decisions we make all are apart of a bigger choice of where we will spend eternity when we die. We get one chance on Earth to live and we get one shot at doing something worthwhile for Christ. Freedom of choice has been given to us by God and we can utilize the opportunity we have been given or we can waste it and say thanks, but no thanks. Quite possibly, we have been the greatest opportunity in the history of eternity as humans in that we get a chance to give back to our creator and savior by doing his work here on Earth. I would just encourage you to reconsider the things you do before you make important decisions especially if you could end up walking away from God.

Job felt like he had no purpose whatsoever after he lost everything he had except for his very own life. He was pushed to the limit of being alone and had every right to just walk away from his faith in God as well as curse God. I find myself in much better positions that Job was ever in and I still find a way to complain to God and place the blame elsewhere. Job did have a period where he questioned God and wanted to know why everything was taking place, we find this throughout the book of Job but I like a particular set of verses where Job complains. Chapter 10 verse 18-22 state, " 'Why then did you bring me out of the womb? I wish I had died before any eye saw me. If I only had never come into being, or had been carried straight from the womb to the grave! Are not my few days almost over? Turn away from me so I can have a moment's joy before I go to the place of no return, to the land of gloom and deep shadow, to the land of deepest night, of deep shadow and disorder, where even the light is like darkness.' " Job did complain but he kept battling and I think he was just frustrated from the trials he had faced. I know that I get frustrated rather easily and disheartened sometimes and unfortunately that can be a huge downfall for me. Job wanted to give up on life and wondered if even being born was worth it but in the end God blessed him and he knew that his purpose was more than he could have ever imagined. Every breath that God gives you is worth it and every moment and mistake is worth it if we continue to seek after God and allow his blessing to come to us in due time. If life was not worth it then I think that God would just take it away from us but we all serve a purpose and sometimes heartache, heartbreak, pain, suffering, failure, disappointment, and broken promises are just a means to the result which is a blessing beyond what any of us could ever hope or imagine. Let us not forget the sacrifice and trial that Jesus faced so that we would have the opportunity that we have and let us live in daily reverence of the one who created us.

Thank you again for your support and reading, I love hearing what people think about these and I can handle criticism so feel free to comment and let me know what was going through your mind as you ready this. Conversation is healthy so do not be shy. I hope you all are having a great weekend and are getting some rest from the week.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Holding On

I have found myself at the end of the rope and wanting to just cave into the ways of the world for good because it can be a much easier path. I always seem to find my way back into the word and will not walk away from Christ because something has been instilled in me. God tugs at my heart because he knows that I am just another person struggling through the ways of the world but my desire is for him alone. I have a very hard time committing to the ways that God has called me to and a lot of that has to do with the life choices I have made regarding my schooling, what I wanted to major in, and just how I planned things out for myself. I get so frustrated that I start blaming people around me for why everything is crashing down around me when really it is my fault to begin with. I cannot completely harden my heart towards these people or towards God because I know deep down that I am the cause of most of my problems. I drive myself into the dark alley knowing that there is trouble at every corner in there and I find myself always looking for a way out. I could be in many different places right now and I could be having a great time as well as looking forward to the coming school year. I am now in the third year of what I have viewed as a "mistake" and I find myself counting the months and pretty soon the days until I graduate and hopefully avoid Minneapolis all together after I graduate. I tried taking a different approach into last year and I crashed and burned rather quickly, I had a miserable school year mostly because of the decisions I made as a whole. There is hope however and I have one last chance to turn this around before I look back on the last three years of college as possibly my most hated and most forgettable years of my life. I love the Christian atmosphere at NCU but the small, tight campus is just not my style and it frustrates me on a daily basis. I wish I had more options, I wish there were more to do and I wish I had somewhere where I could actually get better at baseball. I wish for a lot of things but I am only able to take ahold of the opportunities and chances I have in front of me so I am going to try and actually make that happen this year.

Scripture is something that can be instilled in your heart and I believe that whether you know it or not, it can have a profound impact on your life on a daily basis. I studied Hebrews when I was a freshman in high school and I think that I have stored some stuff in my heart that will last a lifetime. Hebrews 3:12 states, "See to it brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first." I think this has been something that has kept me on track through the years because I know that I could never turn fully away from God. I unfortunately have bumps in the road and I need to limit those, especially the ones which really damage any work I could do for Christ, and I need to keep working toward the goals that God has set before me. I wish life were easy and I wish I could say that I knew I would be okay and that I would not mess up again. I really hope that is true and I want to be able to stand up in front of my friends and family and say that I put forth my best effort day in and day out (as I do on the baseball field). I have worked hard to be in good positions but I usually find my way out of those because of fear or just a lack of confidence in my ability. Israel had so many opportunities but they squandered them and they rebelled against God some of the generations were even told they would not even be able to find the promised land because of their disobedience! I feel like I still have time to turn things around and I pray that I will continue to utilize the resources I have around me so that I can grow closer to God everyday and find my way through the narrow gate. I pray that none of you will ever walk away from God and if you have not yet found what you are looking for, that you would be blessed and one day make a commitment to God that you will follow him and accept Christ as your savior. Do not go to bed another night with a hardened heart because you never know when your last night or day may be.

Thank you all for reading and please continue to pray for myself as well as others around you. God is continuing to do great things among his body and we need to make sure that we are all apart of it. If you enjoy these posts, feel free to recommend them to your friends or family and see what they think. Hopefully it is at least an encouragement if nothing else and maybe you can benefit in some ways from it.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Dying

Just a few weeks ago, I lost my 4th and last grandparent. It was a rough time for my family but as always we fused together and made it through together. We did whatever it took to get the whole family out for the funeral and I do not know how long it has been since we were all together last, it truly was a blessing. One very unfortunate part of living is that in the end we all die, the question that has been debated for ages is what happens after we die? Well, I believe that there is a heaven and hell, followers of Christ (as outlined in the Bible) will ultimately go to heaven. Anyone who is not a follower goes to hell, simple enough right? Once again, maybe not so much when it comes to a definite answer. Nobody likes to think of hell as somewhere in which their loved one might spend eternity but the hard truth is that it is a possibility and it does happen. People die everyday and for some people it seems to be that they are just another speck of dust that has been kicked up by the wind but it is so much more than that and a soul needs to have more value than that. No one should ever feel alone in this world whether they are actually alone or they have a ton of friends. I have found myself in both positions and it is never fun. There are many people out in the world who are lost and dying and as Christians it is our duty to step in and provide hope for them whether they just need someone to lean on or we can provide the hope of Christ to them as well.

Reggie Dabbs spoke at North Central during my first year there and unfortunately I was not able to hear him. The good thing is that we have chapel sermon archives and his message is one of my favorites when it comes to evangelism. One of his most emphasized points in the sermon was out of Mark 5:27 and it states, "When she heard about Jesus..." and he made it rather clear and pointed out that someone had told her about Jesus and that is why she was in the position that she was in. If they never hear a clear message or never get a real opportunity, then how can they ever decide whether to go to heaven or hell? As a Christian, I can sit back and condemn people based on the fact that I do nothing to try and change them. John 3:17, "For God did not send his Son into the world, but to save the world through him." God does not want to condemn people nor did he put Christians in the world to show people their flaws, he has placed Christians on earth to show others how to live. Now it is kind of funny when we think of showing others how to live. Usually we take that statement to imply that Christians show others that how to do "the right things." I actually agree with that idea but I think it is more than that, I think we are to show people the joy and benefits of living life in Christ. The idea of truly living rather than just passing through this life with nothing but shattered dreams and the conception that everything sucks. I believe we create our own opportunities and we have the power to do whatever we want with the tools that we have been given by our creator. We all serve a purpose but we have the opportunity to waste it, never think that you cannot do what you feel called to do, keep pushing and find what you have been designed for and strive to be the best that you can be at it.

Everywhere I go, I see people dying, dying for truth, hope, peace, comfort, and love. They are desperate for something and I know that there is one man, one savior who has paid the price and opened the door for them to experience what they are lacking. I hope that you will pray for those that you know and even those that you do not know who are headed for destruction. God will greatly bless you because of it and he might just open a door for you to change somebody's life for eternity.

Thanks again for reading, I hope this has been insightful for you and I hope that you will continue to read and allow God to speak to you on a daily basis. I am praying for those that read this and hope that God will continue to use you in a mighty way.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Immeasurable

I have not written in a while and to be honest I have not really known what to write. Life was a mess this past spring aside from baseball. If someone asked me what I want for myself in the next 6 months I could not honestly come up with an answer that would make any sort of sense. I have just been trying to go with the flow of things but more often than not I have found myself looking for a way out. My concern for others usually leads me to places I do not want to be. I wear my heart on my sleeve and that gets me into trouble more often than not. Not only do I need to guard my heart, I need to ensure that when I open it up, it is for the right reasons and that I can benefit from doing so. I have had some good conversations with people over the last few weeks and it is amazing what people go through and only reveal to a select few. I know that I have held things in for fear of being judged or just completely shut out by others. It is completely eye opening to see how your attitude changes when you actually control your emotions and allow for something to develop. I have learned that people are not so bad even though I still want to believe they are. I usually like to joke around about people and usually say things that are a little out of line but when it's all the time it really affects your heart and how you think about people. The mindset that you take into something usually affects the result towards that particular way of thinking. I typically enter something and try to convince myself of what I want to happen but my heart and my mind are usually going in opposite directions and my mind wins more often than not. If I can learn to guard my heart and let it lead me then I have no doubt that I will continue to grow and become disciplined in my way of thinking and the way I take care of things. Emotionally, we are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be. I have pushed myself down into the grave way to many times in the past and I hope to cover up that hole forever. The truth is that we all make mistakes and we are all forgiven by the grace of God. The grudges we hold on earth will only hold us back from who we can become in Christ and they will ultimately hinder our relationship with many people.

I have tried many different ways to get through my day and nothing has been sufficient except for when I chase after God wholeheartedly. I may have what I consider a successful day but ultimately I find myself laying my head down at night and cannot even find the strength or will to pray and thank God for the day because I know that my actions have not been completely pleasing to him. I am not saying that makes me a bad person or if you are not always pleasing to God than you are not a good Christian but if it becomes habitual and your lifestyle reflects poor decisions then it is time to reevaluate where you are going and what you are doing to make changes that will ultimately show your decision to follow Christ. Being set apart is a not a bad thing when it comes to God and being a Christian. If people keep you out of bad situations because they know your stance on something, you should thank them for that respect and try to use the situation to share why you choose to live that lifestyle. It may not be for them completely but if you can plant a seed then who knows where it will go. We must continue to grow each and everyday otherwise we are going to fall from where we are and we will have to climb and claw our way back to where we were at before. Satan uses our past failures to drag us through the mud and the more we have, the more difficult it is to overcome. The good news is that in and through God, we have access to the strength and willpower to overcome those things. Ephesians 4:20 states, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen."

I can only do so much to help myself but I need to do all that I can and I need to be sure to guard myself and not let myself become so easily entangled in the ways of the world. I can say that I am very good at some things but in other areas I need to improve. If we work together and seek the good of God for all, then we will succeed and enjoy the fellowship that God has designed for us. I want to thank all of you who read this and may God's mercies follow you throughout the week.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 37

God is teaching me patience right now and I must say it has been amazingly tough. In just about every aspect of my life or just anything I do, I have to try and take things slow and when I try to rush I end up making mistakes. I have completely put myself in position to learn some valuable lessons and I am trying to persevere through some of these tougher times and I hope that I can continue to wait and just see where things go. My wrist injury has been slow and nagging and I jammed a few fingers today in the first inning of the second game. I wish things were easier in some areas but I need to learn from certain things and I need to continue to seek God in spite of everything I am facing. One thing has remained constant over the last few months and that is God. My family has been a huge influence and has been there for me but I know that God is always going to be right there pushing me and building me up even when I am struggling to glorify Him on a daily basis. I have never experienced his love in the way that I have over the last several weeks or so and I am so grateful for the opportunity to give back to Him daily. I still need to be more intentional with him as well as relational. I am trying to learn stuff but I am not talking to Him much and I am definitely not listening for His voice as well as I could be and I know that needs to change if I want to be completely successful.

Proverbs 16:32 states, "Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city." Patience comes in many different forms and situations. It can apply to temper or it can apply to just waiting for something to come to you. I can relate to needing growth in both areas and I am doing my best to understand this concept and allow for something to flourish. I am working towards it and learning some concepts that I can apply and I am trying to push myself to new levels. It may take awhile and I might hurt some people along the way because of the way I have done things in the past but ultimately I need to reach the goal I have set before me and achieving it will not be a very easy road. God has blessed me immensely with the people that are around me and as a leader I know that I have failed in more ways than one. I am trying to figure this leader thing out because it does not seem to be working and I feel like I might be the wrong person for the job the more that I think about it. I know this is contradictory to one of my posts from last week but I do not seem to be getting anywhere and I feel like I could do more without being a "leader" and I would not have people taking things out of context or just going against me as much. I could be wrong but those are just my thoughts.

I hope you all have a good night and I hope that God is continuing to bless you and reach out his hand to you. Please pray for my fingers and for my wrist. The list gets longer and longer each passing day but God CAN handle all of it.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 36

My sister leaves tomorrow and that is kind of sad. Additionally, I have a game tomorrow and am not even able to take her to the airport. I wish I could see her off and get to spend time with her before she leaves but that is okay. I have had a really great time with her and as I said yesterday, I am so blessed to have had her around for a few days and she is extremely encouraging to me. I know when things are really working for me and I am still battling to stay on track and have the impacts of the last few weeks continue to be a huge influence on me. I have struggled a few days but overall I am making progress and I need to continue to use the good days as incentive to keep pressing on and ultimately I need to continue to keep my eyes on God and his purpose rather than just not screwing up. I am learning so much and trying to apply all of it and sometimes it is difficult but that is part of maturing and finding my place in God's plan for me. My attitude determines my choices and my choices determine my character. If I remain positive when it comes to my Christian walk and I do not become pessimistic about my daily choices, I can be successful and I can carry myself with a strong stature from day to day. I need to continue to push myself to be the best that I can be and with that I will learn just what is important and what I NEED rather than what I WANT and I will only take hold of the things that I need.

Proverbs 19:20 states exactly what I need to be living out right now, "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." We cannot just hear people's advice and we cannot just receive instruction and expect things to be all better. It is our job to listen and process as well as accept what people are saying to us so that we can apply our instruction to our daily lives. We cannot just walk through life and expect everything to be handed to us on a silver platter and we cannot just assume that because we read or hear something we will be all better. I have wasted so much time in classes because I am there and listening but I am not processing what I am hearing and it does me no good. I might as well just spend my time reading the book or something constructive that has my attention otherwise I will be unable to actually learn anything and expand my knowledge of a topic. I do not want to waste my time with God or God's time because one thing that I know that bothers him is when I waste his time do not produce any fruit from what He has set out for me. I know what I am capable of and I am going to continue to strive for the strength that He has available for me.

Thank you to those of you who are reading and praying of me. God will reward you for your faithfulness. Please continue to pray for me and I will be praying for all of you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 35

Well the push for the end of the semester has arrived and we have three weeks left until finals. It is hard to believe that this school year is almost over but time flies when you are having a good time and finding ways to fill your time. I have not quite gotten every day but when I spend time with God I have found that my day just goes a lot smoother. That usually translates into the day after the night that I post because I have prepared my heart and I think about the next day's post throughout the next day. I have been faced with many choices since I have been here and just in the past few days I have made some decisions that I think will be extremely beneficial for my growth in Christ and just as a person in general. I am trying a different way of doing some things and I am just trying to show myself how I can prioritize and organize things that need to be taken care of immediately in my life versus things that need some time to develop and see where they are going. With people around me who want me to succeed and with the Spirit's guidance, I know that I can be stronger than I have been in previous weeks or months and that the peace I receive from it will be exactly what I have been searching for. Usually when I look for my success "certificate" or something like that, I usually end up making a mistake or something because I am trying to find validation or show myself that I am different and I am not quite ready for a leap that huge yet. I need to continue to take baby steps that allow me to grow into something. I try to jump in the deep end but I have not even learned how to swim in the shallow end yet and I cal stay up for a bit but as I begin to sink I need someone to come grab me or else I will continue to be overcome and I will lose the struggle.

One area in which I need to grow is just being a good listener and being completely obedient to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I pray for guidance all the time and I desire it but when it comes down to it, I really struggle with making the right decision when it comes to that tugging on my Spirit as to what is right and wrong. I can and do make the right decision frequently but I know that it can go either way and I am not 100% dedicated to following the Spirit. I know things would be a lot easier if I could convince myself that Spirit guidance is never going to fail me and if I could overcome my mind telling me that the Spirit is withholding something from me. There is no rationale for disobeying the guidance of the Spirit other than the fact that I am human, selfish, and greedy. I get in the habit of convincing myself that my decision is not really hurting me all that much or that I can recover rather quickly and I am just lying to myself and destroying a lot of hard work I have put into overcoming certain struggles. I am not afraid of the good that could come from my obedience and faithfulness but in some ways I am still trying to cling to the things that have gotten me into trouble but have temporarily not failed me so much. The thing is that God has never failed me, I have failed God countless times, the things of this world that I cling to are minute and show weakness, they entice me because of their accessibility but that is a lame argument because God is just as easily accessible and provides more joy and happiness than anything that the world can or does provide me. Proverbs 29:15 states, "The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother." I am right in the middle of this right now and I hope to continue learning from the situation I am in and I do not want to make the same mistakes that got me here in the first place. The discipline that I have received is making me stronger but I need to be careful not to become too prideful about my progress or I am setting myself up to fail again because I feel like I am a better person and I think to myself that it cannot happen again but really I am more susceptible to failing and it being a bigger deal.

I start to feel convicted now when I do not post and though I did not post before bed, I feel like I woke up in the middle of the night so that I could post and I took the opportunity without deciding to just forget it. Thank you to those of you who are reading and commenting or encouraging me, it really means a lot. Please continue to pray for me!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 34

I am loving getting to spend some time with my sister and I would not trade the past couple days with her for anything else since I have been here at NCU. She is so encouraging and uplifting to me and I know I can go to her whenever I need to have something resolved. I have been a terrible brother and have not really returned the favor of spending good time with her though and I feel like I have neglected her somewhat. Everything just seems like a mess from time to time and I go through vicious cycles where I have everything organized and going great and then other times everything is pure chaos and falling apart. I feel like I am moving back into one of those chaotic points where I do not have any sort of handle on things and I tend to get upset rather easily and it really bothers me. I need to control it though and find a way to break the cycle so that I can continue to grow and not fall down again. This spiritual battle is a tough one and it is a long struggle that I am going to win and everyday I need to continue to remind myself of that because as soon as I let my guard down, my mind wants to control everything I do rather than the Spirit that lives inside of me. I have battled and do not want to be setback by anything that could make me stumble but for that to happen I need to keep myself out of situations where I can make a mistake and really hurt myself and the progress that has been made.

God is doing some reconstruction in my life and before I try to take over the project, I need to let him finish some more work or everything will just get messed up again. I am still on the fence of breaking some old habits and the next few days and weeks are critical in the process of moving on and trying to mature as a Christian. I have to stay focused and keep people around me who will support me and look out for me as much as possible. I know that I get in trouble when I isolate myself and keep things to myself and I need to avoid that as much as possible. There is strength in numbers in many different ways for me and when it comes to avoiding certain temptations, they can be my greatest defense. I hate giving myself the opportunity to dispel any good that is around me and I think that the attack I came under a few weeks ago was a result of that. The demon that came against me thinks he has gotten the upper hand but he is sadly mistaken and he will see that nothing will get me to back down from where I have been. Nehemiah 2:17 states, "Then I said to them, 'You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace." I have been disgraced and I may not have a good name publicly. However, I had better learned my lesson from that or I am going to find myself in places that I do not want to be and in more trouble than I could imagine. This critical point will pass and I will move into more serious stages but for now I need to focus on the task at hand.

I know I missed a couple of days but it has been a long couple of weeks and days. They have been busy and a lot of things have been pulling me away. I have been battling and it is easy to just say, "I will post tomorrow" and push it off to the next day and the next day but I assure you that this will not be happening. Thank you for those of you who have told me that you missed my posts, it means a lot! I am praying for all of you!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 33

I need to watch myself and stay on track because this is not seeming as easy as it was at first. I have a desire to spend time with God but I need to continue to break the cycle of finding myself to busy or tired to find time for Him. I need to keep my mind and thoughts focused on Him or this will all go downhill very quick and I do not think I can handle that type of slope at this point. I know He is trying to do amazing things and I feel like He is still trying to make me understand things and my thoughts right now are just making me realize my need for Him. I cannot back down off my intensity for Christ or I will find myself losing the battle time after time and I am not going to allow that to happen. I get frustrated when people around me do not carry the same intensity or passion that I do and I realize that sometimes with God, I am the one who needs to pick it up. God is pushing me right now and He knows that I need to continue to get over some humps, He has disciplined me once and I am learning from that but I cannot just move on and say well I learned my lesson and then lose my intensity or sense of urgency. That is a funny phrase, "have a sense of urgency," we need to constantly be thinking about the fact that His return could come at anytime and we should be spending as much time as we can getting close to him and bringing people into His Kingdom because it could all be over in the "twinkling of an eye."

I am always so concerned about the next person and who they are pointing fingers at that I do not even notice when I am pointing a finger, I usually should be pointing a finger at myself. There are times when I am able to have a good sense of humility and I will know that I am falling down. Other times I am just cruising along and nothing else matters but I spiral away from God and it leaves the door open for me to get burned. I cannot tell you how essential it is for us to get people around us who are going to build us up instead of let us fall. I am beginning to see the benefits of this and I am thankful for that, one thing I need to be cautious of though is falling or causing other people to fall because they are just as human as I am and we can make mistakes together. I have been there when my Christian friends are doing stuff they should not be and it makes it very difficult to stand firm. The things we say and our actions around all people reflect what is truly going on in our lives, if we say one thing and do another then we are going to lose respect and validity in our speech because nothing matches up with what we tell people. Endless lies hurt us more than anything because they push people away from us and like I said, it hurts our credibility with people. It is not about honesty necessarily, it just reflects poorly on who we are, especially if we claim to walk in step with Christ but we are hiding a ton of stuff under the surface. I am tired of living with a top layer on that is just disgusting underneath. Sure, it is a struggle everyday and we make mistakes but when mistakes become habit and habit becomes lifestyle then there is a major problem that is occurring. The scripture I read tonight has nothing to do really with what I have been talking about but it is good wisdom from Proverbs and I think it is something I really need to meditate on and apply to my life. Proverbs 3:21-26 states, "My son, preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." I cannot wait for the day that my sleep is sweet and God is my confidence day in and day out. It is available to me right now but I have to take hold of it and allow it to happen. It shall be a good day when I mature a little bit more and this wisdom is actually a part of who I am.

I hope you all had a great day! My sister is in town and it was so nice to see her and spend time with her. God is doing amazing things in both of our lives right now and I know she is exactly what I needed at this time. She has always been my comfort and my earthly wisdom and guide, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that she is here. Please continue to pray for me and my wrist, we have two more games (today). Thank you all for reading, feel free to comment or request prayer.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 32

Long days just seem to be routine for me now and I do not think they are even worth noting because they happen so frequently. I was up at six this morning to finish a paper and then I had class at 8 followed immediately by leaving for a baseball trip about three hours away. We played a doubleheader and lost both but I was able to pitch in both games and I really enjoyed it. My time on the mound today was peaceful and I found myself having fun while going after hitters and not being afraid of what they were going to do. Although we had a rough day, I had a good time playing the one game I love and I cannot wait to head to practice tomorrow and then play again on Thursday. My wrist is still not one hundred percent but I feel that it is getting there and I know God is going to do something miraculous so that I can finish off this season and possibly play over the summer. God has given me such a great ability and opportunity to play this game and I more than likely only have a few years left so I am going to make the most of every time I am out on the field. My sister comes into town tomorrow and I am extremely excited for that. She is pretty much my best friend and we are going to have a blast together. I hope she can get a glimpse of what I have been up to this semester and help me where I may need some fine tuning. The semester is coming to a close and things are getting busy with classes and all but I need to just continue to stick it out and allow for my time management to take over and I need to remain diligent when getting homework done so that I am not completely overwhelmed as the assignment due dates start to pile on.

Throughout this whole time I need to continue to keep my eyes fixed on God and not become too tired to spend time with him. His time is precious to me and if I can make time for Him then I will be abel to make time for other things. I always make excuses for not having enough time to do certain things but in reality I am just not putting forth the effort to get those things done efficiently so that I can do more. Psalm 27:14 states, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." I am still waiting for God to do something amazing but I know that He is at work. It might be another couple of weeks or even months but He is attempting to transform me and it is time for me to allow for that to happen. Patience is key even though I am trying to break free from certain things. I need to show that I have matured in my decision making and then God will be able to slowly trust me with more and more and I will eventually feel like the next thing that God hands me cannot come slow enough. I will need to be Spiritually rich and not allow for anything to hinder me or dry me out in a spiritual sense. Some nights I feel like I have nothing to talk about and I feel like that is because I am not as connected with God and I need to be better about that in that I need to spend MORE time with God outside of just my blog and then I will have words of wisdom on a daily basis that benefits many different people. As long as I am in the Word and allowing God to use me, then I am perfectly happy with where I am at from an evangelistic standpoint. It is up to me to expand and whether or not I do that could leave very little can be a problem and I know that God is working in, around, and outside of us and all it takes is dedication to this single, common goal and success will take care of it self.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you all had a good day. One again, I just need prayer for my wrist as I need it to get to 100% as soon as possible because it is very difficult to be successful on the field and in life it general. If you need prayer, just ask and I will be happy to provide it foe you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 31

So I know that yesterday was day 30 and I did not make a big deal about it because as I have said before, it is not about a consecutive days streak, it is about growing closer to God each day and having a little bit of documentation concerning it. This is my journal that I can look back on where God has brought me from and where I am going. My spirit is willing and I am training my body to overcome it's natural desires because there is something greater waiting for me at the end of the road. I have been tired of just becoming complacent with where I am at and I feel like I have taken the initiative to battle that complacency and to allow the things of God to flourish in my life. I have set my sights on things above and while some things are trying to linger, I am going to shake them off of my feet and I am going to soar with the eagles. It is time to get above the clouds where God's vision is all I can see and the ways of the world are not a concern personally. Occasionally we will be used to help others get off the ground and then we have to dip back beneath the clouds and see just how messed up things are at the time being but we will be with a group that will not allow us to land and get enticed with the old ways. I am so ready to have victory completely in my life but I remind myself that everyday is a journey and a battle and I have to keep pushing myself to achieve the goals that God has set before me. I am breaking free from several different things and the wisdom that I am gaining from people around me is helping me immensely and for that I am extremely grateful.

From time to time I state that I hope this can be a ministry tool and that some of you reading this will be affected by it in some way, shape, or form. I am not trying to convert you but I just want you to be able to see exactly what is going on in my life and show you that in some ways I am not all that different from you. God is doing amazing things and transforming me in ways I never thought were possible. I hope that you are all able to recognize this not only in my writing but in your daily encounters with me, if nothing is changing then this is all for show and I need to put myself in check. I am here to grow and learn from mistakes and as I said earlier, this journal will help me look back on a lot of that. One thing I need to remember though is that as a ministry tool, this is not just my plan, it is God's and He is in control of all of it. It is not because of my accomplishments that this blog is flourishing, it is because God is moving and instilling something in me that I need to share and it is giving me joy beyond belief. Colossions 4:1 states, "Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a master in heaven." Basically this verse is about being humble in your ministry and even as a captain on the baseball team, I have to remember that even though I have seniority and I am in a leadership role, I am not in my position so that I can just delegate authority, it is also my job to get in the dirt and do what is required because God has given me this opportunity and He can take it away from me if he chooses. This blog is also a blessing to me and i can grow without it. If I start to try and take credit and glorify my accomplishments on here, God can and will humble me if He needs to. In everything that we do, it is God who puts us in the position where we are at and allows us to grow.

I hope you all had a good day, I am headed down to Iowa again tomorrow but it is a turnaround trip and I will be back tomorrow night. Please pray for safe travels and for my wrist (it appears to be getting better). I will continue to pray for all of you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 30

Today was a pretty awesome day, I got to sleep in a bit, went to church, watched and played some baseball, did some homework, and am finishing the night watching the Dodger game and doing a little homework. I am still dedicated to the things of God and I am glad that He has placed me where I am at and I am able to learn from things every single day. I know that I am good enough to be called his and no matter what Satan tries to tell me, I am going to continue to chase after God and if I have any setbacks along the way, I will learn and grow from them just as much as I would grow if I were continuing to do things the way I should be. I want to be the best that I can be in Christ and I am going to strive for that each and everyday regardless of what I did the day before. If I am given another day to live, then I have another day to make sure that I glorify my King the right way and I can listen to his voice for what He wants next from me. I am going to push myself for perfection because I know what I am capable of and I do not want to come up short of my potential. I have talked about leaving it all on the field but when it comes to practice and a daily routine, it is easy to forget about the potential we have and how we can develop that and harness it. Practice is one of the most daunting things we can experience but it helps us become greater and ultimately will prepare us for the tests that may come.

Paul describes life as a race and how we are running to ultimately achieve the prize that Christ has set before us. I like to think of practice in our daily life to be reading the word, spending time with God, praying, and listening to the Spirit. The game or the test comes when we face the struggles of life or Satan as he tries to attack us. If we are prepared for what we have to face then we will be able to make it through without many hiccups in the road. If we lack in the practice area, then we leave so much potential as potential. If we are unable to develop potential then it is just wasted and it means nothing in the end. We can always talk about how good we could have been but we need to be talking about how great we are because of the time we have put into maturing and sharpening our skills and tools. Proverbs 16:3 states, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Also, Proverbs 16:6 states, Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through fear of the Lord a man avoids evil." Both of these verses were good for me tonight and I felt like I needed wisdom so I turned to Proverbs for a little bit of guidance and encouragement. Keep battling in the Lord and doing what He has asked of you and you will be successful because he is faithful. Additionally, fear God because His wrath is greater than any humiliation that you will receive on earth for not taking part in the world and it will tear you apart and leave you feeling empty. If you want to feel whole then you will find refuge in God and allow him to direct your steps because nothing on earth can compare to his embrace and his grace showering over your life.

I hope you all had a great day, I am working on getting these posts up earlier and giving God more time out of my day because he deserves more from me. I hope that God continues to watch over you and I thank you for your faithful reading.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 29

NCU Baseball had another good but rough day and it was a long one as well. We split a pair of games against Lawrence University from Appleton, Wisconsin because we were unable to hold on to a 9 run lead in the second game of the double dip. If there is one thing I learned today, it is that you are never safe no matter how comfortable you may feel or even how comfortable of a situation you may be in. Everything could be going your way one moment and then slowly you begin to slide down that mountain you are on. You might not make any mistakes along the way but if you start to get defensive and you play not to lose then you will find yourself in a world of trouble. We take our foot off the pedal for one second and the enemy closes in and there is nothing we can really do about it at that point, once you start to let him back in then there is a good chance it will all end up falling apart before it is all said and done. Always be prepared for something to come after you because nobody likes to lose and they will find a way to battle all the way to the end. Likewise, when we get knocked down we cannot just give up, we need to battle until the end and just trust that everything will be all right. It was tough today watching the other team just come in and take over in the last few innings and not being able to do anything about it. I know how God feels now when the enemy is devouring me and he just has to sit back and watch because He did all that He could when he had the chance and yet I find some way to mess it all up. We must never back down from where we are and we must continue to squash the enemy until we have achieved victory.

I had my eyes opened tonight and I think I have heard this from my mom before but it only just registered with me until tonight. My name is Joseph Aaron and I know that God gave me those two names for a purpose. I think God is calling me to be a leader based on those two names, I believe that if someone prays and names their kids according to the Spirit's guidance, then God will provide that couple with a name that is fitting. Joseph became a great leader over Egypt and God blessed him after all the trials that he faced. I have been through many trials but I still feel like God is faithful and his will bring his work to completion. Next, Aaron was charged with the task of watching over the Israelites when Moses was not available and I feel like that would be me when it comes to baseball and just in general. I have faced many trials just in the last few years and I have struggled in my own battle to be more Christ-like but I am finally learning and hopefully applying things a little bit better and I feel like it is all so that I am able to be an effective reader down the road. My will to break free gets stronger every day but I do know that the attacks from the enemy will increase as I break the bondage that I have been under. I know that God is leading me right now and I hope that it continues to equate to wise choices and growing in my knowledge of Him every single day. I do not think I have ever been more sure of my decision to follow Christ but I do know that I need to watch out because the enemy is lurking just like Lawrence was in the game today. It comes down to who is willing to work for the victory in the end and I am not giving up.

I know I need to get better with these posts, my eyes get tired when I try to post late at night and I lay down and then I am out and unable to finish my post. Yesterday was a long day with travel and getting back late but my goal is to post tonight before 10 so that I am more focused and giving God the time that He deserves. I can grow more when my whole mind is focused and when I give Him more time to speak to me. Thank you all for being faithful in reading and I hope you all had a great day. Please continue to pray for me and I will continue to do so for you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 28

Well we are back in Iowa and we got to play another game today against a team from Wisconsin again. We were able to pull out a big in by the score of 16-4 and we battled all the way to the end. We stayed on the offensive most of the game in that we never wasted opportunities to put the opponent down. We met a lot of resistance from outside forces (umpires, their coach, and their players) but we found a way to accomplish what we needed to get done and I feel like we did it the right way. We had a ton of room to talk but we beat them ultimately where it hurts the most, the scoreboard. In the same way, it does not matter what we try to Satan, words do not scare him unless it is prophecy or spirit led speech. Trash talk will not hurt him, in fact it can fuel him to increase his attacks against you. The one place we can hurt Satan the most is by taking people out of his grasp and increasing the score on the scoreboard. Satan knows that he is losing but he is able to have his count decrease throughout the game and when we bury him, he becomes angry and there is nothing that he can do about it. I am continuing to grow from the book I am reading and this mentoring is one of the best experiences I have had at NCU. I have been searching for something to build me up and this is it. Without the book I am reading and without my counselor, I do not know how well I would be doing right now but God knew what I needed and he provided for my need.

I am learning how to facilitate my growth in Christ and what I need to seek if I want to be successful everyday. I can just close my eyes and pray to my king because I am confident that I will have the words to speak and my words will be few but to the point. I have been given more than I could have ever asked for and I am glad that God is watching out for me daily. Without my savior, I would be completely lost and living a hopeless life just as I had been for almost a year and a half. I knew him but I did not know him personally and I did not let his joy into my life. Romans 8:26 states, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." I feel like as I was struggling to stay afloat a few months ago, I was crying out for help but did not know how to express it and I was unable to effectively communicate my problem over that period of time. I continued to tighten the noose that was holding me down and nobody was able to hear my cry for help. I cried out to God and tried to repent repeatedly and then I told him that whatever it would take to get my attention, that needed to happen so that I could move forward. Well, I believe that those words were from the Spirit because it was my plea for help and God responded to my desire for closeness to him God has remained faithful to me throughout my struggle and he has been awesome to me as I am on the road to triumph.

I hope you all had a good day. I have another long one tomorrow with baseball and a bus ride back to Minneapolis. Please pray for my wrist and our travel home. Thank you all for reading and I will remember you in my prayers tonight.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 27

I feel like my recovery for my wrist is going to take a lifetime. I have no idea exactly what is wrong and it will be a couple of weeks before I am able to get it checked out by a doctor and then who knows where or when I will be able to get surgery if it is needed. I felt that way for a long time with my Christian walk but I am starting to find a way out of the hole and I am finally overcoming the things that have held me back for several years. I am winning the battle for the first time since my sophomore year in high school and it feels extremely good to have so much going for me. I am starting to feel like my passion for God is genuine and my joy cannot be overcome by anything that Satan sets in front of me. A few weeks back I could have been in this same position of doing well but I would have expected to fail sooner or later but at this point I feel like success is the only option in front of me. As I said the other night, my eyes need to remain fixed on the savior and provider of grace rather than on the sin that can hold me back. To be obsessed with Christ will mean that I have no other time to think about the things that can hinder me and thus they will not be a major problem. I cannot keep thinking about being on the defensive when it comes to sin, the only way one can score in a game is to go on the offensive and overcome anything that might prevent you from reaching your goal. We have to put together a string of successful things so that we can win the battle and ultimately the war. It is going to be another long weekend and trying to post will be difficult but I have made it this far and now is not the time to trip up.

I am a really outspoken person and but I usually am able to keep certain comments to myself because I understand what os and is not acceptable for me to say. Recently I have been letting my thoughts get out regarding authority that is above me. I am not trying to be disrespectful or discredit the authority, I just seem to have a small problem with the way things are done sometimes and I just voice my opinion when it comes to that. God wants me to be submissive and discuss my concerns with those in authority so that I can take care of things that way and resolve any conflict that may arise. I have been placed in some positions that require me to be submissive on a higher level and it requires that some people be submissive to me as well. I know I do not always get respect but I also know that it is earned and not given and in some ways I have not done much to earn respect from some people. Romans 13:1 states, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which god has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." I understand my need to be respectful and address things the right way but sometimes it is extremely difficult to keep things in and usually that will lead to me exploding later on down the road and it will be a mess. Now I do not try to disrespect the authority above me by voicing my displeasure everywhere and cutting them down, I just end up telling those closest to me exactly what my thoughts are. I am finally learning that I can handle things better and God is helping me understand where I need to put my trust and where I need to remain faithful as well. I think on a bigger scale, this will help me when it comes to just being open and resolving conflict in my relationships with my friends and my future wife and I will work things out and understand when I need to humble myself.

I am glad that I have been able to get this far but it is not about just being on a consecutive day streak and saying, "Look how good I am." it is about growing in Christ and expanding my knowledge so that I can be successful. Thank you all for reading and if you need prayer, please do not hesitate to ask.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson