Where I Am

The last few months have been a struggle for me. Bouncing in and out of consciousness with Christ, breaking down, ready to quit, trying to get back up, it did not matter what I had going for me, I always had to find something negative. I tried to attribute everything to "signs from God" but in most ways, I was just finding a way to attribute my problems to something beyond my control. I did not want to be so unstable but it seemed like the only thing I could do consistently and let me tell you that it buried me. I found myself waist deep in quicksand with no one around to pull me out. Everywhere I turned I would find myself failing and my escape would come with an occasional devotional time and prayer with Chelsi. You can say all the right things and do what pleases people but it only works for so long and then you have to change the routine or actually change your state. It is easy to build walls that you do not want anyone to tear down and most people cannot, but it is hard to stay transparent so that you can be helped by others when you need it most. Those of you that may read this and our not Christians, I know what you go through when you get frustrated by life and nothing seems to go your way. I have sat for countless hours wondering if I did the right thing or what I should do next and sometimes things just do not seem to make sense. Life seems to suck sometime but there is hope and "He's waiting for the right time, for that day he catches your eye, to let you know that he is yours to hold." I spend time wondering what I could do for my friends to save them and realize that most of the time I do nothing, if you read this, please respond if you feel like God is speaking to you.

My testimony is simple and it comes from Psalm 66:16-20 which states, "Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God who has not yet rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!" I know that there are times in which I have cherished sin in my heart and God has withheld from me and some of you might feel that way. I know it is hard to believe, but you can eliminate the desires of the world from your heart and yearn for God with all that you are. Sure it might take some time but if you want change, you can find it. God does listen and though it may not always seem like it, he is working and his plan is always being unfolded in your life and those around you as well. I am so much happier now that I have straightened somethings out and recommitted to certain things. God is moving in big ways across this nation and in the lives of many right around you, do not get caught on the outside looking in when it comes to God and what he is doing right now.

Like I mentioned, please respond if you feel that something resounds with you or if you have any questions. I have a heart for all my friends and I would love to hear from you. I will pray for those who read this (whether I know you read it or not). I want to make posting routine even though it is hard, but God is over me and this blog and I trust that if I seek him, he will provide the opportunities for me to post. I hope you all are doing well.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Commitment

As I thought about commitment this past weekend and how it relates to me, I think I sort of gained a new perspective. Sure it is just like a promise but I believe it is more than that. A promise is more of something you tell someone you will do for them, but a commitment is something you do for yourself. That might not really make sense but let us see if I can make sense of it for you. When I think about my commitment to the Lord, I usually just try to keep from being sinful because it is "what I am suppose to do" and I end up "promising" to never do it again. These promises always come up short because I try to do things on my own and am not committed to what I said I would do. If I commit to Christ my life and all that I am, I am saying that it is his and that I am willing to do what it takes to be wholly devoted to him, to follow his commandments and ways. It is not so much a promise to be good but a striving effort. It is to turn away from things that can be detrimental to you so that you can show yourself that you can fulfill what you have said and so that God can be pleased with your actions. I think that I fail to be committed to God most of the time because I have given him my life but I still want to hold on to certain areas. This brings me to the "obligation" of being good so I can be a "good Christian." I do not want to be good for the sake of being a "good Christian", rather I want to be good for the sake of Christ and for the sake of myself as well as those that are involved in my life. I get too caught up in the logistics of things that I forget to come back to the core of what my faith in him is... a friendship and discipleship. He tries to teach me everyday and if I am not committed to learning, then we are both wasting our time. I can spend time with my friends and blow off the only one who will EVER love me unconditionally, but I will never spend time with him to blow off my friends. That is a tough concept to grasp, unless I can prove it to be false. I wish I knew why I made certain decisions in life, but I know that I can move past the stuff I have done and have new life, if I show that the changes I have promised are real.

Tonight I just want to reference the verses in James 2:14-22 about faith and deeds. We can learn so much from that but we need to put it into action just as the passage says!

I hope you all have a great evening and that you are all doing well, you are in my prayers as is this blog in general. Please continue to pray for me, I know God is still doing work in me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson