Day 51

So I got some very good insights from yesterday and now know that a few people are there to back me up and to encourage me. If I was not a logical person I could have been offended but I understand when I need help and am open to constructive criticism and if you were one who responded to yesterday's post, thank you! I am not discouraged by where I am at, I have made changes and I know that I am growing closer to who God wants me to be. I have tried doing some things for God but not always in step with God and I have failed in some areas. My mom pointed out that I also need to let myself be guided by the Holy Spirit. I have spoken of this before and I have been filled with the Holy Spirit but I am very bad at exercising the use of the Spirit. I know that this is not a good thing and I know that I need to let the Spirit guide me everyday. I cannot do things on my own and get by. The Spirit will act as our conscience and will lead us to what is pure and what is nobel and if we are letting ourselves be consumed by the Spirit then life will be much easier.

My mom suggested that I take a look at Acts 1 and possibly even memorize it so that I could use it to guide me everyday when I feel like I cannot overcome something. This is set just as Jesus is about to ascend into heaven and the Bible as well as Jesus says, "On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: 'Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' So when they met together, they asked him, 'Lord are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?' He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or the dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be with my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.' After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. 'Men of Galilee,' they said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This is the same JEsus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." The Father has promised us this great gift as long as we accept it and put it to use but like me, some of us receive it and then only look for the Spirit in troubled times. We think that we can go through life doing things on our own and everything will be okay, but it will not be and we need that support which we can only receive from God. 

I find that I try to move from one thing to the next in God before he can really use me in a certain area. I try to get as many things done as possible in a short time. Pretty much that is how I live my life. But I need to stop and take time to let God develop me instead of trying to rush in and change overnight.  This became evident to me when he said "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised." He wants the disciples to have patience and to wait before proceeding because they need the Spirit before they can continue to do his work. In the same way, I can do great things for God but I need to have the Spirit start guiding me at some point otherwise I am missing the point to which God has called me. I should not get caught on the wrong things (ex. trying to count the days until Jesus comes) because things will come back in due time and his timing is perfect, if we spend our whole lives trying to figure out when Jesus is coming, we will have missed what he has for us in this life and the job he has put us here to do. That is not to say do not be watchful, because we are commanded to be watchful because we do not know the hour or the day, but do not let the second coming consume all of your thoughts for there are bigger worries, especially if you are a Christian.

I think this has been really helpful and I am going to pray every night from now on for God to refill me with the Spirit and I will put it to good use from now on. Wasting a gift is well... it is pretty much a waste and pointless. God would never give us anything to waste because he wants us to be fruitful and thankful for and with the things we have received. It is not our will, but his will and his ways are much higher than our ways. I know he can help me understand that put it to good use and I am excited for when that happens. 

I talked to the coach from UNLV today and he is very excited to talk with me and to see my video so I am believing that God is opening up a door for me there. I know that Point Loma is still a possibility as well and I think God is opening a door there as well. We will see how the next few weeks go as break turns into Spring semester and I get a sense of where I will be next year. Keep praying for me, as I am praying for you and let me know if there is anything you need.

God Bless, 

Joseph Robinson

Day 50

I struggle everyday to overcome myself and the world. It seems that just when I think I can get stronger, I back myself into a corner and try to justify sin. I cannot tell you how wrong I am for doing this but I am trying to make effective changes. It is almost as if Satan is trying to tell me that I can never do it and I am not strong enough and sometimes it just gets to me. I definitely need to do a better job of putting my armor on everyday so I can be on the defense and the attack. I know that in one of the first 30 days I talked about memorizing verses and I have not done so yet. I know this is something I can do to continue to grow more and will be implementing this into my daily studies as I continue to seek God. I have found that I say many things that I should do yet I do not necessarily do and that is no help to me at all. The only way I can help myself is by implementing the things that I find will help me grow. I bet thousands of people make mistakes everyday and know how to make changes but they simply just do not do it. Sometimes it is just being lazy because it takes work to make changes and other times it is just defiance which is wrong as well. I would say that I am on the lazy side and that needs to change for sure. I need to step up my work for God not only in my life but also in the work of others and if those around me are willing to help, I definitely need it. We are not supposed to go through our Christian walk alone and that is one reason why I wish I could generate more responses out of this; because I know that some of you might just read this and its all you are getting but you need more support. I NEED help, I need support, I am not afraid to ask for help and I surely cannot have much integrity if I am willing to go on living certain ways and never ask for help when I know it is available. 

Today, I am just going to post some verses that kind of reflect how I feel during my walk and respond to them as honest as I possibly know how. Psalm 41:4-12 states, "I said, 'O Lord, have mercy on me; heal me, for I have sinned against you.' My enemies say of me in malice, 'when will he die and his name perish?' Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander, then he goes out and spreads it abroad. All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying, 'A vile disease has beset him; he will never get up from the place where he lies.' Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. But you, O Lord, have mercy on me; raise me up, that I may repay them. I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me. In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever." It is so hard to keep coming to God when you screw up time and time again. I know right from wrong and I still do wrong sometimes because I think that I will gain some benefit from it. This is a false sense of security from Satan and it comes with every type of sin. I struggle when my friends constantly tell me that they cannot wait for me to start drinking or they think I will be a crazy party animal who sleeps with various girls and drinks alcohol on weekends. These people are technically my enemy who speak malice to me and they want to see my spiritual name die and perish. These people are essentially the same people who are the whisperers who wait for me to fall and then they do not want me to get back up from where I am at. I have even had a few close friends who have turned against God even when I did what I could to hold on to them. There were times when I screwed up though in front of them and I think I gave them the wrong perception of myself and in turn it was my fault for letting them slip away instead of them walking away.

But of all the bad things I have done, I know that God will have mercy on me as long as I continue to seek him and am actually TRYING to make changes wholeheartedly. I pray that one day (soon) he will be pleased with everything I do because I do not let the enemy triumph over me and that he would be able to use the example of the integrity I have to change the lives of many college students and teens all over this nation. It starts small but it will spread like a wildfire if I let it. People are searching for something, they do not know what to look for and Jesus is their only hope. Even when I feel like i do not know how I will get through something, God will always pull me through. Whether it is a break-up, a death in the family, struggling in my walk, just being alone, or simply just school, God is always there and he will see us through until the end and then when the end comes he will be there for eternity. I am not going to lie, I have struggled a lot in the past week and I just know that there is something more that I am missing and I need to pray to God to reveal it to me. But I can also use your help, I know that God is here for me but I need my brothers and sisters to rally around me and build me up otherwise I will slowly start to wither and become stagnant. 

I pray that God is doing great things in all of your lives and I pray that he gives everyone safe travels over the holiday season and that he is watching out for all of our personnel overseas in the war zones. I hope you all had a great Thursday and I pray that God blesses you and you family.

Your brother in Christ,

Joseph Robinson

Day 49

So I knew that 30 days would be tough but now that I am nearing 50 days (I know not consecutive) things are definitely getting tougher. I really need to be in prayer more than I have been and I need to dive deeper as I want to continue to grow in God, just doing this has kinda put me in a slowly diminishing spot in which I need to find a new step to take and to more forward. I will definitely keep doing this but on a much more personal level with God, I feel that he wants more from me and I am going to give it to him. Finals week is just a few days away and I know that it going to take a toll on me if I put in the effort that I should. The only way I can make it through is with strength from God and not ignoring him when I get busy and feel that I have "more important things to do." God comes first and should always come first in my life. He will come first before my 7:30 A.M. final because it is what he deserves and I know it will be beneficial to me. He definitely needs to be first in more aspects of my life and I feel that there are ways I can do that, I just need to implement those adjustments into my everyday routine. I will keep you updated on this and let you know how I am doing because I think this is going to be an even bigger step that will lead to some drastic changes in my life. 

I do not feel the need to defend the things I am saying because I do not really have people coming against me in what I have posted in here but I thought it was interesting how Paul defends his ministry and how he approaches the people he speaks to. I think this applies to us everyday because everyone we see should be people that we can speak to and these aspects of Paul's life have some great insight. In 2nd Corinthians 10:1-6 he says, "By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you-- I, Paul, who am 'timid' when face to face with you, but 'bold' when away! I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by standards of this world. For thought we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine powers to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete." I believe that what Paul is trying to convey to those at Corinth is that he feels that he should not have to bold when is near them because they should be familiar with his teachings and his way of life, he does not necessarily need to feel timid, but he should feel comfortable around them knowing that they know what he is all about and the lifestyle he chooses to live. He is talking about how our spiritual weapons are much greater than any weapon on earth. As a Christian, he has the power to win the argument for Christ and nothing can stand against that, no weapon formed against him shall prosper in other words! He talks about rebuking these people after their obedience is complete so that they will know never to return to their old ways.

This applies to me on both sides of the spectrum. I feel that I need to be bold in some cases and should never be timid and I should be comfortable in other situations because nothing can stand against me. I also need to learn to leave my acts of disobedience in the past and not even occasionally fall back on those acts. Staying focused is so hard to do but it is a part of being obedient. I know that my weapons are different from the Christian next to me and I have special talents that God has given me. This is why the church needs to be in step with each other just as each individual is in step with God. The Bible says we work together as the body but a lot of times we try to move without the church and we end up causing the body to weaken. It takes many muscles and signals in order for one to move a finger and in the same way it takes planning and careful instruction so that the whole church can work together. Enough about the body though. Paul says that some people think that we live by the standards of the world and this is a very big misconception and I believe that is brought on by the idea that Christians are hypocritical. The problem is just that we fail, we are not hypocritical unless we are truly living both lifestyles. The world's standards are much lower than God's standards and as long as we follow God's standards, we can never be compared to the standards on earth. In all honesty, I should strive to be compared to how the great disciples lived their life, not the person next to me who has never submitted to Christ and still follows the ways of the world. Not be perfect, but be as close to perfect as HUMANLY possible. 

hmm... I still need to listen to the sermon from Sunday because I did not go as a result of being sick.  More than likely I will do this tomorrow before my devotion and I will post some thoughts or something about the message. I hope you all have an amazing night and stay safe!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 48

So today, I did not get around to reading my bible in the morning but I did pray to God on my way to class. I knew it was something that would warm me up inside even though there was snow on the ground outside. It was amazing to see how much easier it was to get through my day with him by my side after I had invited him to come walk with me. I was pretty lazy today but I did stay out of trouble and will start preparing for my finals over the next few days. I know he will guide me along as I take those and as I am studying for me. He will provide for me in my time of need because he hears my call and knows that I love him. I will be patient and learn to accept things as they come and praise him no matter what the outcome. Each day I grow closer to him and each day I see the wonders that he can do. I know that I will never be alone no matter what happens and I always have someone to talk to. Taking the next few steps will take faith and it will take me showing that I can demonstrate my love for God. It definitely will not be easy, but I know that it will be worth it in the end.  

Walking in the Spirit can be a hard thing to come by but once the Spirit dwells inside of you, there is no going back. It can come like the wind and knock you off your feet and you will be changed forever. Jesus says in John 14:15-21, "If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." This sort of expands on what I said yesterday, but now it says that if we love him, we will have another counselor come live with us, as we will not be left as orphans. The world no longer sees him but we do and it is our job to educate the world so that he can reveal himself to them as well. 

As a Christian, the only way I can receive this is by following God's plan for my life and for doing my best to listen to what he has for me. Instead of talking with my friends about that girl and staring at her, I should be the controlled one and maybe say something but then carry on with my business so as to not let it become a distraction. Keeping my eyes fixed throughout the day on whatever is good, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, is going to be the only way that I can know that I am walking in step with God. It is so hard for me sometimes because I DO get caught up in the moment. I know I am not the only one who struggles with this and I know that it is not just something that guys struggle with. It is funny, I posted a while back about how I do not want to be in a relationship, but I still look at girls and try to picture myself with them, but deep down inside, I know that it is not what I want or what I need and I snap myself out of it. It is just amazing how we can get sidetracked during our day into thoughts in which we do not even want to be thinking. The only way to guard against this is to have control in your mind and not let it consume you. Do not take the second look at that girl who is dressed in a way she should not be, but instead think of something else that is noble and good and you will have a better chance at diverting your attention and taking a huge step in becoming a man who has respect for women, or becoming a woman who respects men. This will come as I walk with the Spirit but it is up to me to come out of my shell and let the Spirit in to consume me.  

I got an encouraging comment today and it pretty much brought me to tears. It was from one of my brothers and it showed that he still does care and he still wants to be a part of who i am becoming. It is cool to see that even when you think you could have lost someone, you still are able to have them around and can share great memories together even as you get older. Keep building memories with those you love and see just how much of an impact it can have on you and them. Continue to seek God and all he has for you. If you are not a Christian, keep seeking whatever it is you are looking for, if you feel empty there is someone that can fill that emptiness and all you have to do is let them. I hope you all have a great night!  

God Bless, 

Joseph Robinson

Day 47

Today I am feeling much better and feel that tomorrow I will be completely better and finally over this cold that I have had all weekend. All indications point to about an inch to 2 inches of snow tonight. I know it is not much but there will be some precipitation. I was not able to get into the word this morning and I found myself run into some trouble earlier and I gave in once again. I am definitely getting stronger but I need to protect myself better because Satan's attacks are getting trickier as I continue to seek God more and more. I think I am over thinking things and I feel that I can just be good and it will stick with me until I screw up. I need to remember that this is a daily struggle we face to stay faithful to God and I need to win everyday and let God prevail in my life. I have had coaches tell my teams that as long as we win every inning, we win the game. The same is true in our walk with God, as long as we walk with God everyday that we live, we will eventually have walked with God for the rest of our lives. I need to let the future take care of itself, sure there is concern about what I will be doing and where God will lead me but as for following God and doing his work, I need to take it one day at a time and not worry about making it to the next day not having screwed up, if I just do my best everyday, I will be able to meet goals and I will accomplish more than I could if I always look to the future. 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 states, "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, The Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates"

I do not know but I used to be able to become an obedient Christian when I found a girl that I liked and I knew that she loved God, almost as if I was trying to straighten up because I figured that was the only way I would have a chance to possibly date her. But then after something happened between us, things would always change and I would just go back to being who I was. This verse tells me to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul, and will all your strength." If I can straighten up for some girl that I only "like", I think it would be in my best interest and should be easy for me to make the decision to straighten up completely for God whom I love. I would say that in a typical week, I show God that I love him about 80% of the time. Now I do not sit down and calculate everything but I would say that I do a very good job at showing him my appreciation and doing things that are pleasing to him. Of course that number should be 100% but that is what I am working towards. There are definitely some areas I should clean up in and rest assured that I am going to be making the necessary steps in order to do that. One way to start would be to take Moses' advice when he says, "These commandments I give you today are to be written upon your hearts." It is really not that hard and still I am unable to follow the simple commandments that were handed to Moses on Mt Sinai. We know that sin easily entangles and that is understandable but there are many times in which I could have avoided sin but chose not to. I am the only one who can change that and it is between me and God. It comes down to how far I am willing to go for him and how far am I willing to let myself go?

Take this  perspective in all aspects of life. How much UNCONDITIONAL love do you show your family, regardless of what they do for you, how far are you willing to go for them? or are you willing to do anything for them? The same goes for a girlfriend or a sport, or simply just a friend, your job, or school. How many times can you do something for the betterment of others which in turn would help you out? What type of sacrifices are you willing to make in order to make things work?  I know I need to make more sacrifices and maybe reaffirm some that I have already made. Sometimes it is hard to let go of sin especially if you have been attached to it for so long, but in the end you will see the purpose and ultimately see how much better off you are.

Continue doing your own reading and growing on your own time if you can and maybe share something you have learned from your own reading or how maybe something I have talked about has been working in your life. I would love to learn from others as well, this is a give and take blog. try contributing and see if it develops how much more you get out.

Hope you all have a good night, God Bless.

Joseph Robinson

Day 46

Sorry I was not able to post over this weekend. I got sick on Friday and had a pounding headache all day. I have spent most of the weekend resting and trying to get my strength and health back. I was not even in the word which is definitely not okay, it more than likely would be beneficial for me to look into God's word and find strength even when I am weak but I just was not able to. However, it did kill me all weekend that I did not do it even when I knew that I should. I felt so convicted because I made it a goal to stay with this every day and I do not want to come up short of that goal. My effort was not 100% and I am not ashamed to say that but just as I was trying to start when I began this blog, I am trying to work towards putting 100% effort everyday and going to bed every night knowing that I had nothing else to give on that particular day. Whether it was spending the whole day with a friend who just needed an ear or going to class and just helping someone out with a good attitude throughout the day. My heart reflects the things I do and doing things with a good heart is a whole lot better than doing things with a bitter or unwilling heart.  

I was thinking about how I go about this blog and when I get around to it everyday. I know at the beginning I said I was going to do my best to do it when I had free time during the day but I have not been doing a very good job at that either. Then I thought to myself that I did not necessarily have to do my blog the first time that I could, but I should at least be giving time to God at the first possible time during the day.  It is said in Deuteronomy 26: 1-11, "When you have entered the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance and have taken possession of it and settled in it, take some of the firstfruits of all that you produce from the soil of the land the Lord your God is giving you and put them in a basket. Then go to the place the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name and say to the priest in office at the time, ' I declare today to the Lord your God that I have come to the land the Lord swore to our forefathers to give us.' The priest shall take the basket from your hands and set it down in front of the alter of the Lord your God. Then you shall declare before the Lord your God: 'My father was a wandering Aramean, and he went down into Egypt with a few people and lived there and became a great nation, powerful and numerous. But the Egyptians mistreated us and made us suffer, putting us to hard labor. Then we cried out to the Lord, the God of our fathers, and the Lord heard out voice and saw our misery, toil and oppression. So the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with great terror and with miraculous signs and wonders. He brought us to this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey; and now I bring the firstfruits of the soil that you, O Lord, have given me.' Place the basket before the Lord your God and bow down before him. And you and the Levites and the aliens among you shall rejoice in all the Good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household."

It is not so much about me posting this blog right away in the morning but it is about me waking up and giving him praise for allowing me to wake up to another day. Getting into the word to see what he has for me to prepare me for my day whether it is a verse or a chapter. He has developed me so much in the past 7 weeks. I have learned from myself, from him, and from others. He has provided me with opportunities for baseball and I need to thank him for that. I need to continue to seek him and let him take care of the outcome. He has given me a great life in this great nation that has pretty much anything I need, working to bring this country and this land back to him. He has saved us from Satan and all the thoughts that he gives us. The evil that can stem from him being in our lives, the sin that can overtake us. This blog is my way of showing what he has done in me and what he is doing in those around me. This where I learn what direction he has for my life but at the same time I need to focus on what he has for me today. I think that they are one in the same but I can hear something from him that will benefit me right away and can help me through a given day but I can also hear stuff that I need to work on and that will take time for me to apply to my life. It just depends on what the struggle is.  If we turn back in praise everything that he has given us, we will be blessed more than we could ever fathom.  It is not about doing what is demanded, it is about doing what is asked and being obedient. Being faithful cannot do you any harm, it can only lead to good. Not always in the form that we understand or want but it ill turn out for good.  The Israelite's slavery in Egypt was not fun for them, but it allowed a leader to be brought up to lead them out and to show them that God still did have favor on them. In the end they were blessed because of their faith and their obedience.

The forms of the firstfruits can be different and can have different meanings. What firstfruits can you give? Whether it is tithing, time, or devotions, God wants our fristfruits in everything because it shows that we are devoted and willing to give him 100% no matter what is going on. Being sick is no excuse for me not posting because with strength in God and my own determination, I would have been able to get it done. What I am saying is that there are really no excuses for not doing the work of God, of course there are circumstances but in general, an excuse is just a way of saying you do not want to do it.  Surely will not happen again on my end.

Hope you all had a great weekend and enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Continue to read and seek him, because he is waiting to do something great.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson