Surrender

I constantly get on here and talk about struggles. I do not want to struggle, I want to overcome the desires of this world. I know that God has something special in store for me and I am gaining access to that with each passing day. Getting to the point where I give it all to him is one of the toughest things that I have faced. I can do it on my own for so long and then I hit a point in which I run out of the will to do it and the strength to overcome. Being able to point out to Satan that there was that day in history in which he lost his bondage over me, will be one of the greatest days that I can remember for the rest of my life. I was in the cage tonight thinking about what God has laid on my heart, the things I feel like he wants me to chase after. Sometimes I think too much and I do not act when I should and it can be the same way when I am in the box and getting ready to take a swing. My flaws in my swing come to the forefront of my mind and then I take a bad swing and I feel like I just set myself back from becoming better. In the same way, I can be doing just fine in my walk with Christ and then I start to think too much and I pin myself in a corner. If I could just act on what God is telling me to do I would be all right, trusting one's instinct is usually one of the best things that can be done but it takes discipline and understanding. When I am hitting and I let my mind focus on just hitting the ball and take my mind off the flaws, I can hit the ball for what seems like a mile in the cage. It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. When God has control, I feel like nothing can go wrong. I get discouraged but he can pull me through these situations and let me know that I am going to be all right. I have roughly 2 and a half semesters left here at NCU and I have not had much success in any area except for baseball. I have fallen down many times and had a relationship fall apart but I know that God is still at work in miraculous ways. I am running out of time here and I wish you could see me as I close out what will be an amazing 15 months here.

I think I referenced David in one of my last posts and I discussed how he overcome a lot of adversity in his life to become one of the greatest men of God who ever lived. It took David completely surrendering to God in order for that to come about. Paul had to surrender everything he was to God so that God could work through him and allow his story to reach those who had followed him previously. I think we toss around the word surrender very lightly in the church and we put ourselves in a tight spot because of it. Take a moment and think about what the act of surrendering is.... If someone walks up to you with a weapon and points it at you, you will probably put your hands in the air (we call this worship in the church), you will experience fear in that moment and that fear should be what you feel everyday out of reverence for the greatness of God. It is not easy to allow someone else to control the situation but sometimes you do not have a choice. When you allow God to do what he wants and he is calling the shots, anything is possible. When we take matters into our own hands it can be a very dangerous road and escalate the situation even more. The outcome is ultimately your decision because how you respond to the situation and who controls the situation is the biggest question you will face. It is tough for us to give up that control, it is our safety and comfort but surrendering ourselves can be the most freeing thing that we will ever experience. If you know someone is going to take care of you and will give you everything that you need, why would it matter if you have control anymore? Allow someone to direct you and do some of the work for you and then the situation becomes less stressful. Sure you do not want to screw up or make the other person angry but I think that should push us to try and be as flawless as possible as we go about this very fragile situation. You cannot just say that you are surrendering, you have to allow it to happen, take your hands off of the situation and do not try to do anything fancy, just follow the directions and you have a guarantee to get out alive and to be happy.

Still no regularity in posts but I am working on it. I told myself I would not go to bed tonight without posting and I held myself to it. Hopefully I will have another one tomorrow. Please continue to pray for me and if you need prayer, please let me know and I will remember you in my prayers.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson