Wasn't Me...

So yesterday was a really busy day and I chose to spend time building relationships and I used most of my day on that. I was being a servant and I was getting to know some people. Every Friday I have a bible study session and am going through Romans with a friend. I definitely see the benefits of that and I think I need to start taking notes when I am there so as to build myself up even more and take my stand against the Devil. Too long have I done things that benefit me for a little while but because I do not commit them to memory, they are only good for a short period of time and then I fins myself back in as situation in which I do not know what to say or how to respond. I have realized that while I spend time in the word and whatnot, I have not really connected all that much with God on a personal level. I know he likes to listen but in reality he knows everything that is going on and he wants to speak to me in regards to how he can be of help and what I can do to fix some of the problems I face. I have realized that I need to spend more time in prayer with him and listening during that prayer time rather than just praying for all of my friends and for him to guide me and then just closing up and going to work. I need to give him time to express how he feels with what is going on in my life and what he is doing in my life so that I can better assist him instead of doing it on my own. There is no excuse for not posting yesterday and I should have but I let some things take over priority over God and that is not a good thing.  I got back on track today and I keep striving to live in him and for him everyday so that I am never spending a moment without him.

I know that I have talked in recent days about how my goal is to be outreach oriented and helping others grow and I have found some verses in which God humbles people and shows them what they really need to be doing. In John 15:22, Jesus is quoted as saying, "If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin." God is a fair and just God and that is why he has called people to spread his word and warn people about the judgement that he will impose on them if they do not turn from their ways.  I see that it is my job to show everyone the love of Christ and teach them that the ways of this world are unacceptable in the eyes of God. I know that when I sin, I always try to find a way to justify what i did, saying that someone led me into it or I make an excuse like I was just really frustrated with life and was not thinking straight. The thing is that there are no excuses when it comes to sin, once we have heard and we know what is noble, true, and perfect, we must make every effort to achieve that status of living 100% for him and there is no way around that. Making excuses just shows that one is not willing to own up to their mistakes and take the consequences that come with them. We try to justify ourselves by pointing the blame elsewhere or saying we did not know, when in actuality we are the ones who are to blame and we need to step up and make changes. God has called me to show people that it is crazy to live for the world when we have so much promised for eternity in him and that they have a choice to either do what is right or what is wrong. He is a just God which is why he says that he has come to explain their guilt so that they can change and if they continue to go on living the way they are, then they will be judged. God is showing me my flaws that are holding me back and I have been afraid to accept it for the past few months. I wanted to think that I was okay but really I still had stuff to deal with on my own and I have finally found out how to let go and move on in him. I am excited to continue doing his work and changing his Kingdom one person at a time.

I hope you all had a great Friday and Saturday since I did not post yesterday. Continue to pray for me as I am praying for all of you. If you have anything specific that you would like me to pray for, please let me know and I will make sure to pray for you. Also, my phone line is always open 480-292-1754. Do not hesitate to call/text in order to ask something or to discuss something. I love to talk to people and I like getting different perspectives so do not be shy. I hope you all have a great night.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Selfishness

I have been thinking a lot the past few days about how much effort I put into things and whether I am just doing things for my benefit or for the benefit of others. Am I just building myself up with Christ as the foundation and then just building the rest out of sand? Am I putting up a canvas that can be changed frequently and just using the foundation  because I know it will hold? The second one not so much but the first one I know is a problem. I keep building on top of the foundation but it keeps getting washed out because I have not built solid walls and they are susceptible to blows. I find that every time I build one it seems to come crashing down not long after. This is solely my part. I will say that I spend about 16 hours or so awake everyday (if not more) and I only live about 13 or 14 hours of those for Christ. The other few hours are me pulling my guard down and being vulnerable to the attacks of Satan. Once again, not something I am too proud of but I know that God is moving through me and with me and I am trying to stop acting stupid and get with the program 100%. If I keep leaving little holes open, Satan is going to rip a big hole in that wall and try to pull me out and it is only a matter of time. In the next few days I will be starting my transfer paperwork and continuing to seek God's plan for my life and I have to say I am excited. I left a lot behind in Arizona and if I end up going back, it is because I have unfinished work there that I should have taken care of before I left. I have been praying for 4 of my friends back home for the past 3 1/2 months now and praying that God would open a door for someone to minister to them and maybe bringing me home would be the opportunity for me to finally do something about it. When I started this blog I knew it was for me but I know that God was calling me to start something that would allow my friends to see a change in me and ask questions. Unfortunately I do not get many comments or questions as people just read. Though it does get discouraging at times, I have stuck with it and told God that this is primarily about me and him and I understand that. I have realized that I have not done enough to reach people on here and that it my fault, I have not been the best I can be and unfortunately that is showing in a few areas of my life right now but that is all about to change. It is time to step up to the challenge and make a difference.

In Genesis 13, Lot and Abram come to a point in which they can no longer live together. Both of their possessions are so great that they can no longer inhabit the same land. Their men started to argue and grow restless but in verse 8 we see, "So Abram said to Lot, 'Let's not have any quarreling between toy and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left.' Abram understood what need to take place in order for them to prosper. He was selfish and told Lot to choose where he wanted to go and then would take the other side for himself. Because of this, Abram was told by the Lord, "Lift your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you will see I will give to you and your offspring forever" I have been selfless for the most part since I started this blog but in many ways I have just been looking out for me and trying to get things done for me. I tell people that I want to do it the way that I want it done or I want things done because I am figuring things out but that is not how it works, especially within the Christian community. We are to work collectively for the betterment of the church and share ideas that are heard and considered by all in order to get things done. Lot took a big fall because of where he decided to settle and he had not surrounded himself with those that would build him up. Unfortunately I find myself in this situation somewhat. I tend to think that I have a great knowledge of what I am talking about (I do to an extent) but when people try to tell me how I can better myself and overcome certain things I tend to listen but find my way around it or tell myself I already know that. I am not disregarding other people's opinions, rather I am just saying my way is better and I keep their ideas stored in case it does not work out. I need to use my support a lot more because it is a log road and I cannot do it on my own in this world. I have God on my side but sometimes I just have a hard time using him as support as well. We need to be selfless and let others help us and we need to help others by listening and being there as support for people. We are not alone and that is why God gave us people to build us up and push us to new levels each day.

If you are not a Christian and you read this, please let me know. I want to talk to you. I will not push anything on you, I just want to find out a few things and for all I know you could be someone I hardly ever talk to and I more than likely want to get to know a little more. Everyone please just let me know if you read this, I know it is not about numbers and I have not been about that. If you have already told me that you read then you do not need to tell me again. I get minimal feedback from those who I know read so you guys are good. Everyone else just leave a comment or a facebook message, if you do not want to post or send a message, my cell number is 480-292-1754 and you can text or call me. I really want to talk to you and discuss stuff, that a way in which we can both grow as a result of these. Other than that, keep seeking God everyday and praying for him to guide you and for you to recognize how he is moving in you right now. I hope you all had an amazing day!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Teaching

Well, I can say with assurance that today was much better than yesterday and I was able to slow things down today and be rational with my thinking. I was finally able to clearly think about where I am going to go from here and how I am going to get there. Not many people know but right now I am financially strapped here at KSU and there is an 80-85% chance that I will either end up at ASU or UNLV next year. Both schools are cheaper and provide an comparable Athletic Training program so I will not be sacrificing anything in the way of my education. I am going to make the most out of everyday here at KSU because the one person I see tomorrow might end up being the only person that I am able to touch while I am here and if I do not take action then I will have missed an opportunity. I am excited to see where God leads me next and if he provides for me to stay at KSU then I am fine with that. I love it here and I know he brought me here for a reason and I will not think any less of the time I spent here if this is the only year that I get to spend out here. He has showed me so much since I have been here and I am grateful for that. I do not know where I would be without him and without seeking him everyday and I am glad I made the choice. He has provided me with so much and I could not ask for more because then I would just be asking to be spoiled. I know that He is in control and I will let him take care of the situation. I am following his guidance and after discussing the situation with a few people, the right decision is to head back west and see what other schools and people have to offer me.

I know I have talked a lot about how I do not know where I would be without God today but I know what it feels like to turn from him and not be giving any effort as far as serving Him goes. One thing I can say is that I am thankful for my parents raising me the right way because getting caught up in Pornography at such a young age could have ruined my life forever if I had not had a strong Christian base. Proverbs 22:6 states, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." My parents knew what they were doing when they had 7 kids, they knew the challenges they would face and knew how much effort it would take but that did not hinder them from going after it. I know they raised us right and taught us where to run to when we began to find trouble. They showed us how to live and how to respond to certain situations and I could not be more appreciative of that. This verse just solidifies my passion to become a youth pastor because I know that if I can reach kids at a young age, there is a good chance that down the line they will see what I was trying to say and they will begin to follow if they are not already following Christ and his plan for them. I know that the youth of the upcoming generation is going to be dying inside because things are getting worse than they already are and it is going to be a really tough world to live in. Christ will be the only remedy and I know that it is my call to tell them what they need to hear and hopefully change their lives forever. It also shows me that when I am a parent, I need to do whatever it takes to root my kids in the love of Christ because there is a good chance that it will click sooner or later and I will need to be there for them at all times. Word of caution, be careful what you teach your kids because it might not seem harmful but one thing can lead to another and cause a snowball effect. Build a strong base of Christian principles in your household and do not waiver from them. Stand strong and let you and your house serve the Lord.

I hope you all had a great day, God is already sort of guiding me for tomorrow's post and I am excited about that. I continue to pray for you all and I hope that you will pray for me as I begin to start this transition period.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Me?

Well, things seem to be going down hill and I just cannot seem to figure much out anymore. I have gone from loving where I am and enjoying everything to not knowing what to do or where I will end up. I know that the decisions I have made have been for the better but in some ways I have to wonder if I should have thought things through a little more. I try so hard just to disappoint myself and I find that sometimes you have to make an adjustment and adapt to what is going on in order to get by. There is definitely a process that needs to occur in order for things to go as planned and when you do not think things through, they come back to bite you. I never thought I would be in this position and I thought I would be happy with where I am but right now I am just trying to see the good from all of it. I am trusting God with everything and am waiting on his timing but it is hard and sometimes I get a little impatient. Sometimes I wonder why he picked me and what do I have to do with his plan but I quickly remember that I was created in his image and he has made me into who I am and who I am becoming. He has blessed me and has provided and I will not worry about where he will lead me next. I have faced bigger challenges but now just seems a little inconvenient but I know his timing is perfect and I will get through this.  The time when we can grow the most is when we are searching for that one thing to bring us through and when we seek the answers. God is in control and he knows what he is doing, all I need to do is trust him and things will be fine.

Today I went back to something I have not done for awhile and I just felt led to go somewhere else other than the devotional book so I opened up to Exodus 3 starting at verse 11 and ended at Exodus 4 verse 14. I am not going to type it out but I will break it down and illustrate. There are times when I wonder if I am doing what I am supposed to do, I feel as though I am not the right person for the job God has called me to do, I tend to overanalyze things and I know this contributes to the problem. The thing is that God knows what he is doing and he will make it clear to us that we are supposed to follow what he has planned. Moses questioned God by saying "Who am I that I should bring these people out of Egypt" and God told Moses that he will be with him and that he will take care of everything. Moses goes on being skeptical and is fervently trying to overrule God and provide every excuse for wiggling his way out and God keeps providing a way for him to overcome any opposition. See God wants me to trust him but I guess I am just having a hard time. I feel like every time I screw up and sin that I am not able to follow God's plan and he must have the wrong person. It is an excuse to throw at God because I know he is not pleased with me when I sin but at the same time he is telling me that I just need to follow his word and stop screwing up so I can stop making excuses. If I never had any problems then I could say that he is pleased and I am definitely fit for what he is calling me to do. Moses finally gave in and said that we would do what he could for God because he was trusting him and believing that everything would happen according to planned. We see that toward the end of Chapter 5 and the beginning of 6 that Moses comes back questioning the Lord about why things are getting worse and God replies by saying do not worry, I have not forgotten about my covenant, I will continue to take care of you and the Israelites. Moses felt like he was lonely and nobody would listen to him but people will listen when you have a word from God, God will make sure that people listen because it is his way of communication (speaking to and through others). I know my questioning will make me look like a fool one day when I look back on life but it will only strengthen me and confirm my faith.

Sorry if this seemed like a rant but I have been having a rough few days and am struggling trying to pull through. I know that everything will be okay and I will be stronger after this, I am just trying to figure things out. Hope everyone had an awesome day and I hope to talk to you all soon. 

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Perfect?

So in the past week I have realized that a kid I know seems to be really conceited he always says he can do things just because he is himself. Now I know when people are joking and make a conceited comment as a joke and this is definitely not the case. I know that occasionally I will say something conceited that I do not really mean because it is a joke but I try not to go overboard because you can only joke about being perfect for so long until it becomes old and you are really being serious. The truth is that we cannot always do things even though we think we can, that is why there are so many different types of jobs and people out there. God wants us to be humble and to know that we have people to help us when we cannot necessarily figure things out. Other times we just need to be reminded that we are good at certain things and those are the things we should stick to. Some people do have many talents that span a broad area of subjects but for the most part people are relegated to certain concentration areas. No person is 100% perfect and the sooner that is realized in this world, I think the better off we will be. Today people go around acting like they are the only gift in the world and that nobody is better than them, in fact it is the exact opposite. They are one of millions of gifts in the world and every one is just as good as they are. Just because one has more than another or is smarter does not mean that they are more superior than another. In the movie "I Am Sam," Sean Penn's character realizes that in some ways he is smarter than other people even though he has a mental disability. For the most part, everyone is smarter than someone else in a certain aspect of life, nobody is that great (except God).

It is for this reason that we need to keep helping others and to keep the focus on others because only thinking about ourselves will get us nowhere in this life. James 2:8 states, "If you keep the royal law found in scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right." That statement right there is telling us that we need to do for others just as much as we would do if we were trying to benefit ourselves. No matter what goes on our focus should remain on others and we should never lose sight of that. We are no better than the person down the street or the person at the other cubicle, we are all sinners and we all need Jesus to be the mediator so that we can have a relationship with God and be saved. The next verse, verse 9 states, "But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers." As I said, we have all sinned and even if you think you have not, I am willing to bet that you have broken this one. It does not mean you cannot have a favorite sports team or things like that, but it is simply stating that we should not be self-centered and we should not put one person on a higher pedestal  than another just because we like them more. We should not do something for one person because we know them better and just let the other person fall and rot because of it. God wants us to be equal and he has shown us that when we step in other people's shoes we see differences and realize just how tough it is to be looked down upon. It is rather simple, "love your neighbor as yourself" and you are doing right. The reason why this is stated is that we are to Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and if we do this then we will never sin. By accomplishing that, then all we need to do is love our neighbor as ourself and we will be doing all this is asked of us by God. We still need to have a personal relationship but we will be doing the work and displaying all that he has wanted for us and that will make a difference in the lives of many.

I hope you all had a great day, I am praying for all of you and hope to talk to some of you soon.

Please continue to pray for me as well.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Why do it?

Well, today was rather productive. I did some studying for two tests, one of them was by filling out a study guide and going back over older material. The other was by looking over notes from the past few weeks. I went to church this morning and the message was encouraging because it was a topic that I had posted about on Nov. 4 and it allowed me to compare the ideas that I took from the passage with the senior pastor of my church. Never in my lifetime would I have guessed that I would find a passage I had never heard before and meditate on it and then a few months later hear a pastor speak a message on that same passage. It showed me the greatness of God and how he continues to amaze me even when I am struggling. I feel like I am making him struggle for my attention sometimes and he is digging all around me to try and show me that everything I have experienced since October has been real and there are changes taking place inside and around me. I can grasp the idea of faith and I know what it means to have it but sometimes I still find it hard to work towards a goal that seems so far off. Then again I know what that is like and I never thought I would be the starting varsity shortstop for my high school team. I never thought I would put up numbers like I did in my senior year. I never thought that the first home run would ever come. My freshman and sophomore years I was a benchwarmer and told I was never good enough but I showed up to practice everyday and worked on the little things and gave 100%. My junior and senior years I was a starter (at a different school) and all my hard work paid off. I do not know how many times I came home those first 2 years and was ready to give up baseball, but I stuck with it and I found out that the benefits were worth the long hours and all the time of no reward. In the same way, I see that even though I do not always see the benefits right away, God will provide and reward me for my faithfulness and for my work in his name. It just takes some reminding every once in awhile.

We see a good example of this in Matthew 25 when the servant with the talents invested his talents and doubled what he invested. Verse 21 shows how happy his master was with him and we see this, "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in your master's happiness!' " You see, God wants us to take the gifts he gives us and utilize them. Then we can come back to him and say look what I have done with what you provided for me and how I have blessed others because of how you have blessed me.  God wants us to take care of the small things and that will take care of the bigger things. Through the years my coaches have said we need to focus on the little things and the big things will come as a result of taking care of the little things. See the little things are what the big things are comprised of so completing the small tasks really helps us with taking down the big tasks. We think that we need to cover the big picture but the small tasks were designed for a reason. We learn from doing the little things and then we can move towards the big goal. For example it is impossible to reach the World Series unless you win enough single games to get into the playoffs. It is impossible to win a game unless you focus on every inning and every pitch. You have to score at least 1 run in order to win the game as well. Some people might make the case that one cannot win a World Series in Spring Training. The truth is that you cannot actually win the World Series in training camp because the whole season is ahead, but the preparation, focus, and the small things in camp eventually leads to a World Series. In the same way, we cannot change the world for Christ in one night. We have to work on building a core and make sure that we stand firm and then reach a few, by reaching those few, we build confidence and our lifestyle reflects what we talk about everyday and people start to see the change. In the end, people become interested in what is going on in you and they want to know more and that is when we have the opportunity to affect at least a group of people if not a whole campus (depending on size). God has given us simple instructions to follow him and when we learn to do that then he increases the work load and starts to use us more but we must master the little things before we can grow.

The next time you think you are doing something that is pointless (I feel like that all the time), just remember that there is a purpose and it will more than likely make you a better person. If nobody did the little things then there would be no big things to do so just remember that it has to be done. It is not about the size of the project but it is about what you do with the project whatever the difficulty or size.

I hope you all had a good Sunday and are ready for another week. I know Monday's are rather dreaded but it is okay. I am praying for all of you and continue to remember me if possible.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson