I do not know if I can go through a day without my heart being heavy for someone. Whenever I hear about a situation or think about a person who I know is dealing with stuff, I just think about the circumstances surrounding it all and wish I could do something. Most of the time I just feel helpless because I am not in prayer enough or my walk is not close enough to God for me to hear his voice and be able to impart wisdom on a person. I wish there were more I could do but I know that when the time is right, I will be able to do exactly what I am supposed to do. When I stumble I know I am not just affecting myself but those around me. As I stated last night, it appears that some people look to me as an example and what I do tends to give people a reason to validate their actions whether they act or do not act in a certain way. Sometimes I feel like it is a joke or that people are not serious and I feel like some of the time it is but other times I know that what I do or do not do really affects other people. I think for most of us we think that we have no influence on people but in the grand scheme of things we have more of an impact than we could ever think or imagine. Even the little things we do affect how people view us and how they might act just because of that. I cannot help but think that in most cases I hurt people more than I help them and it is painful to think that because the only way I can change things is by being more responsible in my own life. I am not saying that I am solely responsible for other people's actions but I do know that I can push them one way or another and most of the time it is not always in the best way. I have hurt people and in some cases not done anything which has resulted in letting people get away and do whatever they would like. An apology is not really sufficient to mend the situation but I am sorry and I hope that these people will give me another chance to be a better example and have a positive impact. The truth is that when we sin whether publicly or in private, it will affect others because sin is cancerous when it has the right environment to spread.
I used a verse a couple of weeks ago but I think it illustrates the point very well, Mark 9:42 states, " 'And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.' " A direct quote from Jesus regarding this matter definitely is a big deal. I do not want to responsible for other people's shortcomings or for not sharing the Gospel in an appropriate way with them. I know there have been situations where I have caused people to sin but I think those are far outweighed by the times where I have allowed people to sin and not even tried to do anything about it. I am not talking about just telling someone they are clearly in the wrong but I am talking about setting an example of not doing something and then explaining why it is so. A lot of times people ask me why I do not do something and its not because I am a good moral person or because I just do not want to (which is usually my answer). It is because I believe in something greater, I believe that my savior came to earth and died for me and the way I can give back to him is by obeying his commands and those actions or that lifestyle does not line up with those commands. I sit by and be the silent killer of so many people that I cannot help but have a heavy heart everyday. If I made more of a positive impact on people, I know that those thoughts and feelings would far outweigh the sorrow and the burdens of others but until then I will keep looking to the Lord to get me through the day and hopefully turn some of this around.
I hope that all of you are doing well and I will continue to pray for those who read and those whom I wish would read this. Hopefully these will become a little more regular but for now we will just see where it goes.
God Bless,
Joseph Robinson
