Day 27

I feel like my recovery for my wrist is going to take a lifetime. I have no idea exactly what is wrong and it will be a couple of weeks before I am able to get it checked out by a doctor and then who knows where or when I will be able to get surgery if it is needed. I felt that way for a long time with my Christian walk but I am starting to find a way out of the hole and I am finally overcoming the things that have held me back for several years. I am winning the battle for the first time since my sophomore year in high school and it feels extremely good to have so much going for me. I am starting to feel like my passion for God is genuine and my joy cannot be overcome by anything that Satan sets in front of me. A few weeks back I could have been in this same position of doing well but I would have expected to fail sooner or later but at this point I feel like success is the only option in front of me. As I said the other night, my eyes need to remain fixed on the savior and provider of grace rather than on the sin that can hold me back. To be obsessed with Christ will mean that I have no other time to think about the things that can hinder me and thus they will not be a major problem. I cannot keep thinking about being on the defensive when it comes to sin, the only way one can score in a game is to go on the offensive and overcome anything that might prevent you from reaching your goal. We have to put together a string of successful things so that we can win the battle and ultimately the war. It is going to be another long weekend and trying to post will be difficult but I have made it this far and now is not the time to trip up.

I am a really outspoken person and but I usually am able to keep certain comments to myself because I understand what os and is not acceptable for me to say. Recently I have been letting my thoughts get out regarding authority that is above me. I am not trying to be disrespectful or discredit the authority, I just seem to have a small problem with the way things are done sometimes and I just voice my opinion when it comes to that. God wants me to be submissive and discuss my concerns with those in authority so that I can take care of things that way and resolve any conflict that may arise. I have been placed in some positions that require me to be submissive on a higher level and it requires that some people be submissive to me as well. I know I do not always get respect but I also know that it is earned and not given and in some ways I have not done much to earn respect from some people. Romans 13:1 states, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which god has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." I understand my need to be respectful and address things the right way but sometimes it is extremely difficult to keep things in and usually that will lead to me exploding later on down the road and it will be a mess. Now I do not try to disrespect the authority above me by voicing my displeasure everywhere and cutting them down, I just end up telling those closest to me exactly what my thoughts are. I am finally learning that I can handle things better and God is helping me understand where I need to put my trust and where I need to remain faithful as well. I think on a bigger scale, this will help me when it comes to just being open and resolving conflict in my relationships with my friends and my future wife and I will work things out and understand when I need to humble myself.

I am glad that I have been able to get this far but it is not about just being on a consecutive day streak and saying, "Look how good I am." it is about growing in Christ and expanding my knowledge so that I can be successful. Thank you all for reading and if you need prayer, please do not hesitate to ask.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson