Immeasurable

I have not written in a while and to be honest I have not really known what to write. Life was a mess this past spring aside from baseball. If someone asked me what I want for myself in the next 6 months I could not honestly come up with an answer that would make any sort of sense. I have just been trying to go with the flow of things but more often than not I have found myself looking for a way out. My concern for others usually leads me to places I do not want to be. I wear my heart on my sleeve and that gets me into trouble more often than not. Not only do I need to guard my heart, I need to ensure that when I open it up, it is for the right reasons and that I can benefit from doing so. I have had some good conversations with people over the last few weeks and it is amazing what people go through and only reveal to a select few. I know that I have held things in for fear of being judged or just completely shut out by others. It is completely eye opening to see how your attitude changes when you actually control your emotions and allow for something to develop. I have learned that people are not so bad even though I still want to believe they are. I usually like to joke around about people and usually say things that are a little out of line but when it's all the time it really affects your heart and how you think about people. The mindset that you take into something usually affects the result towards that particular way of thinking. I typically enter something and try to convince myself of what I want to happen but my heart and my mind are usually going in opposite directions and my mind wins more often than not. If I can learn to guard my heart and let it lead me then I have no doubt that I will continue to grow and become disciplined in my way of thinking and the way I take care of things. Emotionally, we are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be. I have pushed myself down into the grave way to many times in the past and I hope to cover up that hole forever. The truth is that we all make mistakes and we are all forgiven by the grace of God. The grudges we hold on earth will only hold us back from who we can become in Christ and they will ultimately hinder our relationship with many people.

I have tried many different ways to get through my day and nothing has been sufficient except for when I chase after God wholeheartedly. I may have what I consider a successful day but ultimately I find myself laying my head down at night and cannot even find the strength or will to pray and thank God for the day because I know that my actions have not been completely pleasing to him. I am not saying that makes me a bad person or if you are not always pleasing to God than you are not a good Christian but if it becomes habitual and your lifestyle reflects poor decisions then it is time to reevaluate where you are going and what you are doing to make changes that will ultimately show your decision to follow Christ. Being set apart is a not a bad thing when it comes to God and being a Christian. If people keep you out of bad situations because they know your stance on something, you should thank them for that respect and try to use the situation to share why you choose to live that lifestyle. It may not be for them completely but if you can plant a seed then who knows where it will go. We must continue to grow each and everyday otherwise we are going to fall from where we are and we will have to climb and claw our way back to where we were at before. Satan uses our past failures to drag us through the mud and the more we have, the more difficult it is to overcome. The good news is that in and through God, we have access to the strength and willpower to overcome those things. Ephesians 4:20 states, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen."

I can only do so much to help myself but I need to do all that I can and I need to be sure to guard myself and not let myself become so easily entangled in the ways of the world. I can say that I am very good at some things but in other areas I need to improve. If we work together and seek the good of God for all, then we will succeed and enjoy the fellowship that God has designed for us. I want to thank all of you who read this and may God's mercies follow you throughout the week.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson