Day 33

I need to watch myself and stay on track because this is not seeming as easy as it was at first. I have a desire to spend time with God but I need to continue to break the cycle of finding myself to busy or tired to find time for Him. I need to keep my mind and thoughts focused on Him or this will all go downhill very quick and I do not think I can handle that type of slope at this point. I know He is trying to do amazing things and I feel like He is still trying to make me understand things and my thoughts right now are just making me realize my need for Him. I cannot back down off my intensity for Christ or I will find myself losing the battle time after time and I am not going to allow that to happen. I get frustrated when people around me do not carry the same intensity or passion that I do and I realize that sometimes with God, I am the one who needs to pick it up. God is pushing me right now and He knows that I need to continue to get over some humps, He has disciplined me once and I am learning from that but I cannot just move on and say well I learned my lesson and then lose my intensity or sense of urgency. That is a funny phrase, "have a sense of urgency," we need to constantly be thinking about the fact that His return could come at anytime and we should be spending as much time as we can getting close to him and bringing people into His Kingdom because it could all be over in the "twinkling of an eye."

I am always so concerned about the next person and who they are pointing fingers at that I do not even notice when I am pointing a finger, I usually should be pointing a finger at myself. There are times when I am able to have a good sense of humility and I will know that I am falling down. Other times I am just cruising along and nothing else matters but I spiral away from God and it leaves the door open for me to get burned. I cannot tell you how essential it is for us to get people around us who are going to build us up instead of let us fall. I am beginning to see the benefits of this and I am thankful for that, one thing I need to be cautious of though is falling or causing other people to fall because they are just as human as I am and we can make mistakes together. I have been there when my Christian friends are doing stuff they should not be and it makes it very difficult to stand firm. The things we say and our actions around all people reflect what is truly going on in our lives, if we say one thing and do another then we are going to lose respect and validity in our speech because nothing matches up with what we tell people. Endless lies hurt us more than anything because they push people away from us and like I said, it hurts our credibility with people. It is not about honesty necessarily, it just reflects poorly on who we are, especially if we claim to walk in step with Christ but we are hiding a ton of stuff under the surface. I am tired of living with a top layer on that is just disgusting underneath. Sure, it is a struggle everyday and we make mistakes but when mistakes become habit and habit becomes lifestyle then there is a major problem that is occurring. The scripture I read tonight has nothing to do really with what I have been talking about but it is good wisdom from Proverbs and I think it is something I really need to meditate on and apply to my life. Proverbs 3:21-26 states, "My son, preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." I cannot wait for the day that my sleep is sweet and God is my confidence day in and day out. It is available to me right now but I have to take hold of it and allow it to happen. It shall be a good day when I mature a little bit more and this wisdom is actually a part of who I am.

I hope you all had a great day! My sister is in town and it was so nice to see her and spend time with her. God is doing amazing things in both of our lives right now and I know she is exactly what I needed at this time. She has always been my comfort and my earthly wisdom and guide, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that she is here. Please continue to pray for me and my wrist, we have two more games (today). Thank you all for reading, feel free to comment or request prayer.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson