Day 28

Well we are back in Iowa and we got to play another game today against a team from Wisconsin again. We were able to pull out a big in by the score of 16-4 and we battled all the way to the end. We stayed on the offensive most of the game in that we never wasted opportunities to put the opponent down. We met a lot of resistance from outside forces (umpires, their coach, and their players) but we found a way to accomplish what we needed to get done and I feel like we did it the right way. We had a ton of room to talk but we beat them ultimately where it hurts the most, the scoreboard. In the same way, it does not matter what we try to Satan, words do not scare him unless it is prophecy or spirit led speech. Trash talk will not hurt him, in fact it can fuel him to increase his attacks against you. The one place we can hurt Satan the most is by taking people out of his grasp and increasing the score on the scoreboard. Satan knows that he is losing but he is able to have his count decrease throughout the game and when we bury him, he becomes angry and there is nothing that he can do about it. I am continuing to grow from the book I am reading and this mentoring is one of the best experiences I have had at NCU. I have been searching for something to build me up and this is it. Without the book I am reading and without my counselor, I do not know how well I would be doing right now but God knew what I needed and he provided for my need.

I am learning how to facilitate my growth in Christ and what I need to seek if I want to be successful everyday. I can just close my eyes and pray to my king because I am confident that I will have the words to speak and my words will be few but to the point. I have been given more than I could have ever asked for and I am glad that God is watching out for me daily. Without my savior, I would be completely lost and living a hopeless life just as I had been for almost a year and a half. I knew him but I did not know him personally and I did not let his joy into my life. Romans 8:26 states, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." I feel like as I was struggling to stay afloat a few months ago, I was crying out for help but did not know how to express it and I was unable to effectively communicate my problem over that period of time. I continued to tighten the noose that was holding me down and nobody was able to hear my cry for help. I cried out to God and tried to repent repeatedly and then I told him that whatever it would take to get my attention, that needed to happen so that I could move forward. Well, I believe that those words were from the Spirit because it was my plea for help and God responded to my desire for closeness to him God has remained faithful to me throughout my struggle and he has been awesome to me as I am on the road to triumph.

I hope you all had a good day. I have another long one tomorrow with baseball and a bus ride back to Minneapolis. Please pray for my wrist and our travel home. Thank you all for reading and I will remember you in my prayers tonight.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 27

I feel like my recovery for my wrist is going to take a lifetime. I have no idea exactly what is wrong and it will be a couple of weeks before I am able to get it checked out by a doctor and then who knows where or when I will be able to get surgery if it is needed. I felt that way for a long time with my Christian walk but I am starting to find a way out of the hole and I am finally overcoming the things that have held me back for several years. I am winning the battle for the first time since my sophomore year in high school and it feels extremely good to have so much going for me. I am starting to feel like my passion for God is genuine and my joy cannot be overcome by anything that Satan sets in front of me. A few weeks back I could have been in this same position of doing well but I would have expected to fail sooner or later but at this point I feel like success is the only option in front of me. As I said the other night, my eyes need to remain fixed on the savior and provider of grace rather than on the sin that can hold me back. To be obsessed with Christ will mean that I have no other time to think about the things that can hinder me and thus they will not be a major problem. I cannot keep thinking about being on the defensive when it comes to sin, the only way one can score in a game is to go on the offensive and overcome anything that might prevent you from reaching your goal. We have to put together a string of successful things so that we can win the battle and ultimately the war. It is going to be another long weekend and trying to post will be difficult but I have made it this far and now is not the time to trip up.

I am a really outspoken person and but I usually am able to keep certain comments to myself because I understand what os and is not acceptable for me to say. Recently I have been letting my thoughts get out regarding authority that is above me. I am not trying to be disrespectful or discredit the authority, I just seem to have a small problem with the way things are done sometimes and I just voice my opinion when it comes to that. God wants me to be submissive and discuss my concerns with those in authority so that I can take care of things that way and resolve any conflict that may arise. I have been placed in some positions that require me to be submissive on a higher level and it requires that some people be submissive to me as well. I know I do not always get respect but I also know that it is earned and not given and in some ways I have not done much to earn respect from some people. Romans 13:1 states, "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which god has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." I understand my need to be respectful and address things the right way but sometimes it is extremely difficult to keep things in and usually that will lead to me exploding later on down the road and it will be a mess. Now I do not try to disrespect the authority above me by voicing my displeasure everywhere and cutting them down, I just end up telling those closest to me exactly what my thoughts are. I am finally learning that I can handle things better and God is helping me understand where I need to put my trust and where I need to remain faithful as well. I think on a bigger scale, this will help me when it comes to just being open and resolving conflict in my relationships with my friends and my future wife and I will work things out and understand when I need to humble myself.

I am glad that I have been able to get this far but it is not about just being on a consecutive day streak and saying, "Look how good I am." it is about growing in Christ and expanding my knowledge so that I can be successful. Thank you all for reading and if you need prayer, please do not hesitate to ask.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 26

Tonight is going to be a little shorter of a post. I have really been struggling with the amount of sleep that I get and I need to make sure that I am getting my rest physically and mentally so that I can focus throughout the day and not take naps like I did earlier today. I have been battling recently to stay strong and I am continuing to overcome the struggles that I have been facing. One major thing I have realized is that I need to communicate where I am struggling and just discuss things with my friends. Having someone to talk to is a great tool for just getting things off your mind and finding security and restoration from the storm that we face everyday. Another thing that has been really helpful is just the idea of keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus and not just on avoiding sin. When I am doing the things that God has called me to do and I am filling my time with things that are useful, I am unable to just become bored and mess up because I have nothing better to do or my head is filled with thoughts that are not beneficial to me as a whole.

The other night I talked about doing things where you are rooted and just going with God's will even if you feel like it might not be the place for you. Some things might be just falling apart but if you can hold it together and trust God, you will see that all along you were fine, you just needed to mature and learn a little bit about yourself. 1st Timothy 18-19 states, "Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to a faith and a good conscience. some haver rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith." I feel like I am finally taking my instruction from the Lord and putting it to good use. I was on the path of rejecting everything he was trying to teach me and I was headed for jagged rocks that would cut me up and leave me for dead. I am so overjoyed that God has placed me in this position as I am meeting and building relationships with people that I might have never otherwise talked to. He set me up so that I could be restored in him and I believe it is working immensely at this point. I will continue to battle and I am not going to shut down any time soon.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you have some good comments, let us fuel some discussion and see where things go. It could be a past or present topic, I just want to get some other viewpoints as a method of growing. Please continue to pray for me ad I do for you!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 25

These long days of no sleep are really taking a toll on me and last night proved that to the max. I am usually able to survive with just a little bit of sleep and just am tired all day but the next level was reached at about 2 AM last night. I headed to bed around 1:15 and was prepared to get a good night sleep with classes coming early in the morning but someone had something else in mind for me. I had a series of dreams in a 45 minute period that led me to believe that Satan was trying to tear me down and I am very positive that there were demonic forces at work in my apartment and trying to attack my mind because I am continuing to grow in the Lord. I am at a point where I finally have gained the upper hand with God and Satan was and I believe is not ready to give that up and last night might have just been the beginning in a series of attacks to come against me. I was able to talk with my Dad last night and we discussed the ramifications of my growth in Christ over the last several weeks and I told him a little bit about the book I am reading and we came to the agreement that the devil is not happy with my progress and he is trying to get me to back down from where I am at. I could have just tried to whether the storm alone but I knew where I could go to for help and prayer and my family did not fail me. I felt at peace when I was talking to my sister and my dad and I would not have made it through the night without their help because I definitely needed support from somewhere other than within me. I needed to reaffirmed that there were forces working in my favor at the same time and that though I got a nice little scare, I was able to overcome because of the blood that was shed for me at calvary. I do not know if I will have more stories like this but I remember my dreams vividly and I definitely only want to remember the ones that are from God and show the victory. I will say that it is nice to be reminded of the forces working against us in the universe, it puts into perspective just how real and important our every day battle is.

I keep thinking about my road to recovery and how important it has been to me and I was discussing that with my dad last night as well. He made the point that I have been predestined to do something amazing and as I continue on in the will of God, it will be seen to completion no matter what may come against me along the way. I am not willing to let my choices carry me away from the will of God because I know that what He has planned for me is the best course for my life. I am not going to let some disturbance in the spiritual realm coerce me into giving up everything that I have fought for in Christ, it is my turn to take the upper hand in this battle and I know that God has been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. Ephesians 1:11 -12 states, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." This verse was exactly what my father and I were talking about last night. There is so much potential for us as Christians but it is our job to harness what God has given us and to use it to the best of our abilities. I have been battling to do this for several years now and I will not be overtaken by the craziness of life. Jesus battled through time management, fatigue, hunger, restlessness, etc... So I know that I can overcome these things and allow God to use me in spite of all the "trials" I face. I have been given a wonderful opportunity and I am seizing it. I have disturbed the delicate balance of the spiritual realm around me and I must say that it feels good because it means that I must be doing something right.

I hope you all had a great day, I really need to try this sleep thing because it is really getting to me in the mental sense. I need to be mentally strong and I have a tough time with that because my mind is exhausted several hours into the day without any sleep to sustain itself. Please pray for me regarding this issue.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 24

Today was an extremely long day of baseball and travel. We dropped both games to Wisconsin Lutheran and we did not play extremely well. One thing that we struggled with was letting other things impact us throughout both games as we complained about various things. In my life over the past year and a half or so, I have complained about many things and usually blame my misfortunes on the situation that I have been in or placed myself in. Understanding that not everyone else to get you is really tough for me and sometimes I just have to make the most with what I am given... or not given for that matter. It is my job to find the good in things and take it all to the next level so that I do not struggle with myself or the situation I am in. I can achieve victory if I can manage to keep my eyes on the prize and I give God an opportunity to work through the trials that I face almost consistently. When things do not always go our way it is usually a result of the choices we make or the situations that we put ourselves in, very rarely is it just bad luck. My goal is to work at being consistently strong over the next few weeks and develop a habit of moving past the things that work against me so that I can have the highest level of success. If I continue to struggle with something, I will find a way to overcome it and understand that it is a learning process and everything will work out for me in the end.

My devotional book tonight was right in line with what I am writing about in a sense. The subject was to bloom right where we are planted. I have struggled with the place I am at for almost two whole school years and even in the last few months I have complained about the fact that things just cannot go right with me here. John 13:15 states, "

Jesus said, 'I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." Jesus came on earth and did what He was called to do despite all the junk that came His way. He did not complain that life was too tough or that God's task was too big for Him, He simply asked for strength to get by and He allowed God to use him right where he had been planted on earth. If we try to venture out on our own, we might miss what God has for us and there is a good chance we will walk ourselves right into the hands of Satan. This will give him reign to do what he wants with us for a little while until we realize that we have just forced the issue and we get back on track with God. I sin a lot out of anger. My stress release is finding a way to screw up my walk with Christ and that is very disheartening. I am allowing an earthly emotion to overtake my spiritual relationship with my Creator and King. If anything, I should seek God in my anger and allow Him to work it out so that I may become mature and not let that situation bother me again. The more that I let the pain get to me, the more likely I am to struggle in that area again. It is God's grace that will save me, not just my own willpower. I need to remember His sacrifice and grace every day so that I can share his love and be successful in my relationship with Him. I hope that you will consider this and do the same if you are not already doing so.

I hope you all had a great day, it is back to classes tomorrow for me and we have the day off from baseball which is a welcomed day off. Thank you all for being faithful to the blog, I am praying for you and I ask that you will do the same for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 23

Our day was rather awesome down here in Iowa. The people here are very nice and our experience this morning was unlike anything I have ever been apart of with my baseball team. We were welcomed to breakfast at the local church and then we took part in a small group bible study which was discussion of Francis Chan's, Crazy Love. Just being able to sit in a group discussion with some of the guys and share a little about what God is doing with a random group of strangers was a great experience and it showed me that God is teaching me stuff that I can use when I meet new people. After our small group, we sat in on the beginning of the service and the sanctuary was beautiful. There were tons of different colors, stained glass windows, red velvet pews, a pulpit, and the carpet matched the pews. I have not been in a similar formal church since I left San Diego in 2003. I absolutely love the feel of a church like that and I hope to find one similar (maybe a little bigger) as soon as I graduate from college. The town we are playing in has some great history in regards to baseball as well. We played on a field that has been used for baseball for over 100 years. It was a real treat to play on a field with so much history and to just realize that this was the basis for baseball in Iowa and it was the men and women who lived here that made it possible. Additionally, some of the people from the church and those who run the field, were able to fix up the field in just a little over an hour and a half. When everything looked grim, God provided the necessary tools and supplies and He gave them the knowledge and experience to make the field playable for us and I thank them as well as God for that.

At the Bible study today, someone said their favorite verse from the chapter of crazy love was found in Revelation 3:1-2 which states, "These are the words of him who holds the seven sprits of God and the seven stars. I know you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God." I thought these were an awesome two verses and relate to me perfectly right now. People always see me as being the good kid who hardly ever gets into trouble and the one who is keeping others out of trouble, the truth is that I have struggled quite a bit and I have been spiritually dead for quite some time now. Just recently, I was put in a situation where I had to firm up some areas that were about to fall apart otherwise they would die too and I have no clue where I would be at that point. I was definitely headed down the road of destruction and then the grace of Christ came and rescued me and now I am making the choice to completely turn things around. Revelation 3:3 states, "Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; obey it, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know what time I will come to you." At this point I am not scared of the rapture, four weeks ago would have been a completely different story and I would be struggling to stay afloat. God has been so generous and He is lining me up with people who will help me succeed through what could have been some of my darkest days. It is still an awfully long road but I know that I have people looking out for me now that will not allow me to get snatched up again. I am ready for my reputation of being alive to finally be shown and God glorified because of it. Think about how you might be dead though you or others may think you are alive. Find an area to strengthen before it dies so that you can combat the attacks of Satan.

I would like to thank all of you for reading, God will continue to reward you for investing time into me and the things I am passionate about. Please continue to pray for me as I have a long road ahead with my wrist, the season, and school. I will keep all of you in my prayers and I hope you all had a good day.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson