Conflict

A few weeks ago I sat down with someone and I asked them what was one of the toughest challenges they have faced in regards to being a leader and what is something that you have to learn to do in order to be effective. I was told that learning to handle conflict is very tough and if it is done correctly it can be rather beneficial. Most people are afraid of conflict and in some ways people think that it always leads to more problems. Sometimes this is the case but I think this is because we go about things all wrong when it comes to confronting people or trying to resolve a situation. It is hard to go face to face with someone and tell them that you think they are wrong or that something needs to change. Nobody wants to be hated by another person and nobody wants to push people away just because of something they said to them. Conflict is a very scary thing and it can be very frustrating at times because in some cases your intention is to avoid a big situation but you accidently say or do something that sets somebody off. I tend to do this sometimes just because of the way I address things or because of my tone or just how I say things. Other times I feel like I do not want to erase the work that others have done to make a situation better just because I pushed to hard but just as I referenced the speaker from Chapel last week, "You cannot push too soon or you will hurt the baby and you will hurt yourself." I deal with lots of different situations on a daily basis and I tend to get stressed out a lot. I deal with lots of different confrontations and the conflict never seems to stop. I am not sure if this is preparing me for the future or if it is the people I am around at this point in my life, but I have learned that I need to try and make things positive when I am faced with a situation because blowing up will only make things worse and it will not even begin to bring about a solution. I try so hard to make things right sometimes though and I end up making things worse or I ruin a good opportunity because I do not know how to just sit back and let things develop, I am very proactive in making things happen now and I will run through all the possible scenarios to make it work. This is a major problem and I am working on growing in this area and hopefully making changes to this process very soon. I am tired of the same results every time something new comes into my life. It is literally the same stuff and a different day, broken record just like my Christian walk. There is a strong correlation in our lives with the way our spiritual lives are going and I can definitely attest to that based on what I have experienced and my everyday life. Things go good for awhile and then it all falls apart in a matter of minutes or hours, it is not a time to lose hope though, it is a time to look forward to how to make things better and hold on tonight.

I work hard to be a good example but it seems like people are watching me with a spotlight. If I do or do not do something, it gets picked apart, good and bad, it is nice to have a following but I just try to set an example. I am not the example or the leader that must be followed based on what I do. It seems like I am being prideful but I am just saying from my interactions with people, I hear these things and it worries me because I am not one to necessarily the one to be followed but I will help guide people, I am just not perfect and that needs to be recognized. I do not have the final say in most situations and I cannot always be looked to for answers. Ecclesiastes 7:8-10 states, "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your sprit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, 'why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions." The resolution to conflict or to any situation is better than the end because then we know the outcome and we can move on, patience leads me to understanding and pride tears me down as much as I try to avoid it. Being reserved in spirit is a very tough thing to do but I am working at what God has for me and I hope that you will to. Being able to go back to the old days should not even be a thought because the future holds so much more joy for me and the past just makes me think of what could have been, not what is going to be.

I need to carefully consider my interactions with others especially when I meet people because I tend to push people off early if they do not meet what I feel is required of them at this point in my life and I either try to force them into that role and it turns out bad or I just do not give them a chance to develop into that role. I am sorry to those that I have done this to and I hope that if I get the chance I can make things better and have you fit right where you belong in my life.

If anyone needs prayer or just wants to talk, you know how to find me. I would like to continue to thank those of you who read these and do not be bashful when it comes to commenting or just talking about posts with me, I wish I had someone to critically think with when it comes to all of this. I hope you are all doing well.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Reconciliation

I have wrestled with myself for the past year and a half about whether to try and keep this thing going and every time I attempt to, I fail. I continue to think its all about me and what I am doing and what people see and perceive but it has nothing to do with that. My lack of being in the word is what leads me to fall away from this and in certain situations to fall down from my faith. I pushed away six months of working fervently to post because I got caught up in the wrong situation. My priorities when it came to spending time with God had completely diminished. I tried for a time to stay straight but when I realized that I wanted something more, I found ways to avoid what I knew was right. I think we tend to do that a lot of times. We find ourselves doing what is convenient over what is right and/or righteous. Its much easier to justify why you did something to your church friends than it is to justify why you did not do something to your friends who have no problem with certain behavior. In reality, doing the latter is much easier, we just do not want to deal with the repercussions. At church we might feel condemned for a bit or that people think of us differently but sooner or later we can get past that but our image to the world is such a vital part of who we are. I'm thinking of removing certain things from my life and I am not ashamed to say what they are but I feel that it is more of a personal choice and I do not want to be commended for striving towards a certain goal so I will refrain from going into specifics. Let me just say that I know there are things that influence me even though I think I can handle the situations I put myself in and the things I experience. I am trying to reach out and effect people but I cannot fully do so unless I take care of the things in my personal life first, it all affects the way that I minister to those around me because I cannot believe the things I am saying if I am not living it or at least making a conscious effort to live that lifestyle.

I have always had a heart for helping people through things and trying in some ways to lead my friends who have gone astray back to where they once where. I also try to reach the lost though not always to the extent in which I should be trying. I do tend to be a little pushy from time to time. I wonder why it is so hard for someone to see what they need, I want to help them see it but I also need to realize that it needs to be on their own terms that they can come back Persistence is one thing, being forceful or trying to pull their hand can be a huge deterrent. A former NCU student spoke in Chapel last Friday and he said that when his wife had her first kid, she kept saying she just wanted it out of her but the doctor said, "you have to wait, if you push too hard now then you could damage the baby and damage yourself." He conveyed this on a Christian level ever so eloquently by saying that if we push to hard, we may hurt someone's perception of the church and in doing so hurt our ministry opportunities. I felt like he was speaking directly to me in some ways and I really need to apply the concepts of his message.

I feel like Corinthians 5:11-15 best conveys how I am feeling and hopefully it reaches out to some of you who read this. It states, "Since then. we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in what is seen rather than what is in the heart. If we are out of our mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. " When we mess up, we are not only hurting ourselves, we are hurting those around us. Sin negatively affects our attitude, our lifestyle, and most importantly our ministry. Your feelings when you try to reach out to someone are going to affect your effectiveness and you will find yourself feeling as though you are not good enough. This is a lie from the snake pit in hell and will just amplify those feelings of inadequacy and it may even push you away from the greatest thing you have ever/could ever have known.

I hope you all take these words into consideration and reflect on how you do things in your own life. I know that I need some work but I know that God is working in me and I am continuing to get stronger, it is only a matter of time before I am knocking down every wall that Satan tries to put up because God is right there supplying my strength and pointing out the weak spots in the foundation. If you need prayer please let me know, I am growing in my passion for prayer and I would love to be interceding for you. I hope you are all doing well and as always, comments/suggestions are always appreciated.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson