Day 58

So I have been thinking the past few days about the effort that I put in on the baseball field and the effort I put in towards my relationship with God and sometimes this blog. I feel that if I put in about 2/5 of the effort I put in on the baseball field, I would be growing  a lot more than I am right now. Logically though, I should be putting in 2 times the effort I would put in on the baseball field in order to become stronger and better. Just knowing that judgement is before me should be motivation enough to stand strong and to seek God everyday, that and it is my calling to do great things for the Kingdom of God. Like I said the other day, embracing the situations in which we have the chance to do the right thing will help us immensely and make life so much easier. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, he returned to find that some of the disciples were sleeping and he said, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." I find myself in this situation rather frequently, and it is where I am up for doing what I am told but I fall asleep and take my guard down. If I stay awake and pray and seek God, he will strengthen me. I know that I say this all the time, but my effort has been poor and I am going to step up and make the change. I have enough spirit to travel the world and preach all over, but my body is weak and the only way I can overcome that is through prayer and faith in God. 

Today's devotion is, "Looking for Direction" and the verse is one I have already used but am going to address again. It is found in Jeremiah, chapter 29 verse 11. It states, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " It is amazing how well I know this verse and simply cannot grasp its concept everyday. I know as always that I am just in a bumpy time in my life and I will get through it with God's help. However, it does get frustrating at some points and I feel God is the one to blame but then I remember that I am the one making some poor choices that lead me down roads that I never should have gone. I know he is there to guide me but giving up control is hard because as humans we want to control our own destiny. I cannot get anything done on my own anymore and if I want him to come through for me, I need to submit everything. For example,  I was supposed to shoot a recruiting video for UNLV over Thanksgiving but it rained and I was unable to use the fields. Then over the past week it has rained twice and I was supposed to shoot today but the fields are soaking and I leave for California tomorrow with no field to use and I will only be back in Phoenix for a few days before I leave to go back to school.  I cannot understand why this has happened but in some ways I want to put it on me for making poor choices and possibly angering God. I know that this is not a very logical reason but that is what I want to assume and though it is more than likely just chance, I like to kick myself when I am done and blame my failures for why I am not able to do certain things. I have a feeling that things will turn out okay either way, but I just wish things were not so complicated all the time.

Philip James Bailey said, "Walk boldly and wisely.... There is a hand above that will help you on." What I take from this is that as long as I continue to do the work of God and walk in his ways, he will be there to push me and to help me through the tough times. He does not want us to fail and he does our best to help us, but we have to be willing to take his help.

Well, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that you have spent some good time with your families. Without the birth of Jesus, there would have been no death and resurrection. While the atonement is the big kicker, the birth has just as much to do with salvation (because it also fulfilled prophecy). Hope you all have a wonderful day.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 57

Today was an awesome day, I got to sleep in a bit and then not too long after I woke up, I went to the mall with my sister and my mom and then I played golf with my dad. Seems like a short day but I was out from 11-6 and I had a blast spending time with my family and just being home with them all. My brother is coming into town tomorrow so that will add to the fun we are going to have and then Christmas is on Thursday, almost a day away now. I know that as I keep myself occupied with things that are beneficial to me as well as the work of God, I will not fall into sin so easily and I will be able to do the work I have been called to do. When things get tough, I will find a way out and have God guide me where he wants me to go. I am hopefully putting together a recruiting video on Friday (weather permitting) and I hope that goes well because I am not sure where God wants me to be but over this break, that question should be answered for sure. I will know where he is leading me and what exactly he wants me to do.

Day 2 is titled "Rest for the Weary" and the verse from Isaiah 6:8 states, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!" This is pretty much the question that God asks us every single day, especially when we are not following his ways when we know we should be. He says, "Whom shall I send" and he waits for us to answer the call but most of the time it goes unanswered. The missed opportunity you had at lunch, the failed conversation on the field, the big fall in front of your friends when you could have said no or not responded the way you did. We have choices everyday to continue to follow God or not, it is not just a one time decision, it is a daily decision. When we give it all to God, things get easier in the sense that we are sure of our daily decision to follow him and we feel security in him. That is why he provides rest for us; we need someone we can run to who can restore us when we feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is just an expression, but when people look to you all the time and you do not know what to do, God is right there asking you to answer the call and to seek him.

You may find this a bit cheesy, but I think that it applies to me and so I am going to use it anyway. Jack Sparrow says in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies that when the time comes and he has the chance to do the right thing, he, "Likes to wave at those moments as they pass by." This is almost exactly how my life is in a literal sense. There are times when I could do the right thing and make the decision to not sin but I do it anyway because my human nature says, "it will not hurt, it is okay because it only affects you" but in reality, my choices can affect tons of people and most of the time they do. It is up to me to take ahold of those opportunities and do what I know in my heart is right. The other time comes when I have the chance to minister to someone and I tell myself that if the time comes that I will do it, but most of the time, the time comes and I just let it go and do not even think twice about the missed opportunity. I know I have said this before, but the call has been made and the question is, are we willing to answer it? I know that I need to, but I have had a hard time doing it up until now and i am going to do what I can to make sure that I do as I have been called.

Since my devotional book only has about one verse a day, I think that I am going to memorize the verse of the day everyday so that when I get to the end, I will be able to see what I remember and see how I am supposed to apply it to life, that way I will be ready to help myself out when the time comes and I can reflect on the things I learned throughout the book and apply it.

Hope that you all have had a great day and that you have done all your Christmas shopping. Have a good night.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 56

So being home alone is tough, there is a lot of temptation and you feel like you want to unwind from finals, there are many things that can lead you into trouble. Giving in is easy and I definitely crossed some boundaries today. I feel like my postings seem to be repetitive and I am not actually going anywhere with it because some of what I am posting, is just what I know. It is easy to scan the bible and find stuff you know and then talk about it, it is finding something that is new and picking it apart that will help one grow just as well. I also feel like I have been posting for length rather than depth. I feel that if I am not posting a certain amount, then I have failed. In all honesty, that is far from the truth and it is Satan trying to make me feel like I am not good enough, like I cannot do it and I feel that has contributed to some of my repetitiveness. So in an effort to try and make some changes and allow myself to grow a little more, I am going to start a devotional book that my mom gave me and I think I will do it every morning and then post my thoughts. I am also going to start memorizing as I have said that I need to and I will let you know how my memorization is going, I think that it is important and its time to start taking action in my own life as well as out in the world.

The first devotion is titled "Seeking the Truth" and the verse is from 1st Timothy 6:20, I like the translation in the book and I will give the NIV translation as well. The book's translation says, "Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge." The NIV version states, "Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge." The next page talks about discernment and growing up and questioning what you have always been taught. Throwing away some things and taking hold of others while just clinging to some of the things you have always knew. I think deciding where to go and what to believe for teenagers is tough. With the world throwing sin and temptation in the eyes of all students and the church barely making a mark, students are lost somewhere in between but more towards the side of sin and the only way to make changes is through faith. There is a quote by Blaise Pascal and he says, "We know the truth not only by the the reason but also by the heart." Our heart guides us everyday though sometimes we do not follow our heart's desire and we fall. We understand truth because we know in our heart what is and is not truth. It is a feeling deep down that inspires us and forces us to question and search for answers.

Over the course of the semester and as I was in high school, I made the decision that I was going to follow Christ but I still had some things in the way of allowing me to do that. Questioning the decisions I was making, the lifestyle I was living, and where I wanted to be when I graduated all helped me become who I am today and they have made me a better person. I am at the stage in which a turning point is happening and its up to me to decide which direction I am going. Discernment is going to play a huge role in helping me make things work. Though I struggle, I will persevere and I will overcome sin with the help of God.

I stayed up late talking to a friend last night and this person has become a positive influence in my life and I am thankful for that. I think I might be having some sort of an effect on them as well and I am thankful for that as well. God is moving in great ways and this is just the beginning. I need to start living everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Knowing that if I die, I gave all that I could while I was here. I have not done a good job of that and I recognize that. Making a change is going to be pivotal for me and will have a great effect on where I am 6 months from now.

I hope you all are excited for Christmas and I hope you continue to seek God. I know he is all that I need but I have a hard time showing that to him. Do your best to show him the praise he deserves and give yourself to him.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 55

No need to tell me that my consecutive days streak of 2 ended... I traveled down to Oklahoma city on the day of my last final and was busy from the time I woke up until I went to bed at almost 12 in OKC. The next day I spent time with my Grandpa and Uncle as well as my Mom. Let me just say, if you have ever heard Abbot and Costello, my Grandpa and Uncle are about as close as you can get to the real thing. I enjoyed spending time there and going out with my mother to do some stuff. Then yesterday, I drove for 17 hours straight from OKC to Phoenix and when I got here I unpacked and then I went to bed because I went to my old church and joined the Bible Quiz practice this morning at 9. Last night was a little rough and I slipped up a little as well as today, but I am back on track with the blogs and I will not let myself nor God down. I hope that you all will continue to follow even when I miss days. I really think that people can benefit from it and I know that I am growing and trying to make changes everyday. Even though sometimes I feel like I am just hitting the skipping point on a DVD, I know that I am getting stronger and striving to make changes. With that, I was reading Luke and I came across something that I thought was interesting and thought of a good way to apply it to me.

Luke 18:31-34 states, "Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them,'We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him, and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.' The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about." Here we find the disciples trying to understand what must take place in order for prophecy to be fulfilled. Not only that, but I bet there were a few who understood but did not know why it had to be Jesus. They stayed quiet for it was not the time to question the Son of Man's own prediction about his death. After all, he is the Son of Man.  There must have been confusion among them and almost for sure when they had some time alone, they were talking amongst themselves about all this prophesy and were trying to figure out why it must take place now. It is said that the night is always darkest before dawn and we see that the world will get worse before God returns and reigns.  The disciples had to understand this in order for them to understand why the prophecy was so important, they eventually realized this after they saw Jesus in the time following his resurrection, but it took time.

In my life, I feel that I have hit some of the darkest points I will ever hit and I feel that the dawn is upon me. Soon the sun will have risen and the son will have risen in me and the light will shine through me and I will be a good representation of my creator. This sun is one that will never set and will never run out of its energy because the fuel comes from him who created me. I still need to get to that point where I am sold out 100% for Christ and until that comes, I am going to keep falling and getting back up, I want to get to the point where I am standing firm permanently and then picking others up as they fall down. Like the disciples, I do not always understand why I go through some of the things I go through but God has a plan and as long as I stop being foolish and making the same mistakes over and over, his plan will be set into action. It is all about trust and faith in him and letting him take control of the things that are too great for us to handle on our own. Temptation and sin for instance, I still find myself trying to overcome it on my own and I still fail because I cannot do it on my own. I do not think it is so much trial and error as it is just me being ignorant and not doing what I should be doing. I am trying to make the break one where I break a few habits and then take them back with me as I head into a new semester. I am going to pray tons over break because I think that even if I only spend one more semester at K-State, he is going to work through me to reach some kids on that campus and it is up to me to answer the call and seek him so that I can touch others. Things may have to take place in my life in order for that to happen but like the disciples, I need to try and clear any confusion and just take it for what it is worth when it comes from God.

I am going to post everyday at least until I head back to Kansas because I have another long 17 hour drive back to OKC on January 13, so I am looking at about 3 solid weeks of posts and I want people to hold me accountable. I still do not think it is acceptable to miss these (especially over break) and I want people to know what is going on if I do not post. Please just ask me what is up and why I did not post because I will say that about 99 percent of the time I would NOT have a good reason too. I hope you all had a great weekend and that finals went well for all students who had them and I hope you all made it home in a safe and timely manner. I will continue to pray for you and I hope you will do the same for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson