Day 7

We finally got to open up the baseball season today and it was a great day for ball! We lost our first game of the day mostly due to Joplin Jitters but we bounced back in the second game and got a win under our belts in the young season. We have prepared so long for this day and when the test came, I feel like we did very well. In the same way, we prepare every day for the moment that we will stand before God and account for everything that we have done and I know that is one test I do not want to fail. God has been doing so much for me recently and he has been watching over me without fail! I have been blessed with his grace and love in the midst of my sorrow and struggling and I am excited to see where this road leads me. No longer am I just talking about how I am going to make things right in my life, I am putting it into action and am not ready to back down. I have wanted to shut myself down at times and even with today being such a long one, I was falling into the mindset that I do not have to post but I must remain faithful in the simple things so that I can be trusted and remain faithful in some of the larger things. I honestly do not think I have ever been so optimistic about life but it feels good and I want to continue down this road for as long as possible. Mistakes are mistakes if they only occur occasionally or once, habits and lifestyles are not just mistakes, they are choices and personally I was making some very poor choices in regards to my life. However, I recognized those choices and recognized the need for change and this is my road back.

Romans 14:8-9 states, "If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living." I came across this verse tonight and I like it a lot. I think it goes directly with what I am trying to accomplish right now. I am trying extremely hard right now to live for Christ on a daily basis and I am not willing to accept anything less. The Lord has put me in a position to bounce back from some serious issues I have been dealing with and the road ahead does not look much easier with baseball hitting full stride and classes having an increased workload. What I have learned in all of this though is that I need to continue to give time to God in some way outside of Chapel and church every week. If I allow him to take part in most of the things I am involved in, then I feel like I am in a very good position to succeed. I can feel something different in my heart, I view things differently, and I think differently than I did even just a week and a half ago. I know it seems like a quick transformation but I know that God is doing something and I will continue to follow what he has placed on my heart because in reality, I had nowhere to go and unless I want to keep throwing things away, something drastic needed to occur. God has given me a last chance essentially and my eyes were opened to the changes that were needed and I am thankful for that.

Hope you all had a great day! Look forward to another special one and thank God for every breath you take!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 6

Today was an eventful day that tested patience and mind over matter. On the way down to Missouri our bus broke down and we were stuck in the same restaurant for over 7 hours. Our bus driver had to fix the bus and it was definitely God who gave him the opportunity to get it fixed as quickly as he was able to. I am learning that we take for granted many things in our lives and we need to appreciate even the simplest that we have. Transportation is definitely something that I need to be more thankful for and I thank God for the things that I have been given over the past few years. The bigger picture in all this is that even when everything goes wrong, God is still there and he is at work to try and work things out for his glory. I have seen his work in some crazy ways over the past few weeks and even though I have hit some roadblocks I am not falling back into the past again. I feel like I have finally committed myself to becoming a stronger person and allowing God to take over in some new areas of my life. He has been faithful with everything I have faced recently and I can see him taking care of me while also making sure that I have some lessons learned.

Usually when I am going through scripture and giving God the time to speak to me, I search through things I already know and I know I need to expand my knowledge of the Bible. However, I have found that I come across scriptures that I know well and they speak to me at just the right time in my life. Proverbs 5:1-2 states, “My son, pay attention to my wisdom, turn your ear to my words of insight, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge.” Though most of my time blogging is not necessarily time spent with God, I am chasing his truth and establishing a base for me to grow into over the next few weeks. I need to get in the mindset of setting aside time for him and his principles and then I can spend time solely with him and really benefit from my time alone with him. I have been blessed to have tried this before and succeeded and I know that it is my will combined with God’s strength and direction for my life. As long as I continue to seek him in this manner and then grow into a more mature relationship with him, I see where he is going to lead me over the next few weeks and months.

I hope you all had a little better day than the team and me! I had a blast with the guys but I think we all would agree that it was a little boring crammed in a building for so many hours with not much to do. Please continue to pray for me as I know that the toughest part of my journey is coming up. I am breaking a habit and trying to develop some new ones and the one and a half to two week mark are usually the toughest in the battle (initially). Thanks again for reading!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 5

With every passing day I feel stronger but I know that there is something working against me. I have not and will not waiver from my goal though and I will stand strong no matter what continues to come my way. There are many times that we do not want to deal with certain things but the way that we carry ourselves through those times really shows our character and whether we have thick blood in times the trouble or if we complain and whine our way through to the end. I know that I have been complaining about the stuff I am going through but I have not dealt with anything like this before and I know that I will make it through and grow because of it. God's hand is in the situation and God has ultimate control over it, I am willing to let him have control of it because I have done everything in my power to honor what he would want me to do. It is weird how fast you have to change your mindset sometimes and hopefully it leads to maturity when all is said and done. Just because you handle one situation well does not mean you are automatically mature, it means that you are maturing and the process is moving forward. However, you can negate the process by not actually learning from anything and going back to the way things were before. In the same way, we can learn and grow a little in our faith but if we go back to the way we were before, we can never fully mature and we will be stuck as spiritual babies for quite some time. Being a leader, I feel like I am more of a leader by example rather than voice when it comes to making people do things. I know I have a voice to explain things to people and can motivate people but I am not a forceful voice who can get people on task or reprimand them. I try to do things the right way as much as I can and then I go about my business as if it were expected of me, I try to direct attention away from me but I know that people are always watching. Overall, I think that maturing and being a leader come hand in hand, the more that one matures, the more influential of a leader they can be and the results will take care of themselves.

I am ready to move on up and stop being the old me. I have wanted to do this for quite some time as noted in previous posts but I have failed to take initiative and it has led me to where I am today. I wish I had chosen the road less traveled at an earlier time in life but we learn from mistakes and we grow. I have done some pretty dumb things but I do not want to make any of those again because they lead to heartache and they leave me feeling like I will never be good enough for certain people. Now that I am chasing after God and trying to allow him to speak into my life, I will do what I can to give him the spotlight in my life and do his work where he sees fit. I am tired of just giving him a portion here and a portion there and failing to let him grow in me. Yes, a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough but if you do not put enough yeast in, it cannot rise as much as it could. 1st Peter 2:2-3 states, "Like newborn babies, crave spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." There is only one way to develop a strong foundation in God and that is too seek him and take in his written word as well as listening for his voice in your life. Eventually we will grow up and God will give us things to chew on and will develop our spiritual muscles and minds but it takes that initial foundation for us to learn how to walk in the ways of the Lord and then we start to take steps before ultimately joining the race and running towards the finish line.

I hope you all had a good day. We have a long one ahead of us tomorrow as we head down to Missouri for 4 baseball games this weekend. Please pray for my wrist this weekend before I get some time off next week. If you need prayer, do not hesitate to ask and as always, thanks for reading!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 4

I am glad that everything in my life is getting dealt with but right now the process is dragging out in some areas. I know there are consequences but I am ready to accept them and move on. I feel like this snag in the process is just frustrating me and making it tougher to overcome what I am facing. I feel like I am really standing up for the changes that I want to be made and I am not interested in letting people get in the way anymore. There have been too many times in which I have just let people come into my life and distract me or I have let those already in my life continue to pull me away. I need people around me who are going to build me up and if you are not able to assist in that process then it is going to be tough for me to have you around on a consistent basis. I am not saying I cannot associate with people who struggle with things, I firmly believe I will be able to help people in due time, especially teens. Being rooted in Christ to me means that I need to have him at the forefront of everything I do and have his Spirit guiding me but also I need to have people around me who secure my place in him and assist me in taking my roots deeper into him. I know I am in a place where I am growing right now and I feel like I am beginning to mature in Christ and that is what is most important to me. I feel like I am reigniting a passion in my life and I do not want to lose that passion, I want the flame to continue burning in my life because I am tired of living in the dark with nobody around to help.

When we are open to the things of God, we can be pleasantly surprised. Listening for his voice and allowing his spirit to move through us is one of the greatest connections that we can have with him. I know I have direct access right now but I cannot wait to stand before him and just stand in awe of him. If not for myself, I want to get to heaven for him and I want many others to experience that too. When we center our faith on ourselves, then we lose our passion for why we believe and we are much more susceptible to falling away from him. Hebrews talks about throwing off everything that hinders but 2nd Corinthians 7:1 states, "Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God." I feel like that goes to a certain level of garbage in equals garbage out but at the same time I feel like we need to just be careful that we do not push away everything because we need to be educated. God will assist us and we need to remain smart while listening to his Spirit and assessing our situations. We should not knowingly be filling our minds with trash because the human mind is valuable and fragile but we need more positive the negative and that can be a very fine line and a tough one to discern. I really hope to grow in this area and continue to grow in mind and thought.

I hope you all have had a good day. I know who most of my readers are but if you have just recently started reading, let me know! I want to be able to discuss and grow from others, thanks for the comments for those of you that do respond. Please continue to pray for me!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 3

With each day I can sense that God is continuing his work. I feel like I am falling in love with living for him daily and trying to do things the right way. I will not be perfect but I can strive for perfection with every passing day. Seriously, it is a battle everyday and we have to come out prepared for the grind. You cannot just talk about a good life, you have to live it. When you get the opportunity to show what God has done in you, you have to be able to put it out there. Do not let hindrances overshadow the power of God and the greatness that he has prepared for your life. When it comes to God, you have to respect his greatness and just understand that when he takes control it will all be okay. Satan is a matchup nightmare when we try to do it on our own but we cannot back down with God on our side. We need to stop worrying about being attacked and we need to go on the attack. I feel like when we get defensive we leave ourselves vulnerable in certain areas because we get worn down. When we are on the attack, we are pursuing God and we are growing as well as pushing Satan away from us as well as those whom we are helping around us. When the Spirit is with you, it is very surreal, it supersedes the physical, the world kind of goes away. You know that something special is going on inside you and you cannot ignore it. You can dismiss it for a little while but in the end you are going to know that the Spirit is still tapping into your heart and soul.

I am not going to be content anymore, I am going to chase after the things that I need in my life because I need help. I cannot continue to just be sick of the way I feel, I need to do something about it and allow God to transform my mind. I was baptized at a young age and I do not know if that means anything at this point because I feel like if I meant it when it happened, I would not be struggling the way I am now. I know it is possible to dismiss the Spirit from your life or that demons can take over but I also know that you can do things just because you think it is right and you might not feel the way you should. I hate to break God's heart but I want him to know that I am serious about doing great things for him. Acts 2:38-41 states, "Peter replied, 'repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off--for all whom the Lord our God will call.' With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, 'Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.' Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day." I feel like this is exactly where I am at right now. I needed to repent and be baptized for the forgiveness of sins. The Spirit needed to be invited back in to stay for good. I have done things that my generation is notorious for and I am not proud of it. All I can say is that I will not allow myself to just become another statistic. I will be greater and I will allow God's work be finished in me.

Here is a video that kinda goes with the first paragraph. I tried to take some of the quotes and put a Christian twist on them. Think about the things you love and try to apply the concepts from the video to those things. Also, think about how it relates to Christ and your walk and how you should feel about him and the things that go on in your every day life. Big fan of the NBA or not, the video is awesome!

Thanks again for reading, it really means a lot to me. Please continue to pray for me and I will pray for all of those reading!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 2

Today was rather refreshing but I know that this is going to be a long road to get to where I need to be. I spent most of the day out and about which is always good because it keeps me out of trouble. I was able to talk baseball with a young entrepreneur who has just started a business in Eagan with his brother. They are a baseball equipment specialty store which is one of a kind here in the Twin Cities. Two guys chasing their passion of baseball through the business world and are taking a huge risk by giving up their old jobs and investing a ton of money into this business. I felt like I could relate to this guy though I barely knew him in that my career may be coming to an end in the next few years and the reason I am pursuing my degree is so that I can continue on in the sports world but from a different role. I feel like God has placed this passion in my heart to reach out to people in the business world but I know that I need to grow in him before I am able to achieve that goal. I have ignored many different opportunities and signs but as I have said before, I am here for a specific reason and I still believe that even after recent events. I have screwed up, fallen down, stayed down, laid down, held on tight, and refused to get up. However, I know that God is reaching out for me and has been trying to get my attention and it is time for me to answer before I start to climb into the grave. I feel like I have been calling out for help but no one has been there to answer, it is almost as if I have to scream but no one around is paying attention to notice. There is noise that has distracted others from hearing me and it has crushed me because my support has been gone. Trying to fight a battle alone against the world is very tough and has caused me a ton of heartache but I know there is hope and God is using my situation to reconstruct my life.

I cannot get to heaven on my own and God is doing what he can to assist me, I just need to open up my ears and focus on what he is trying to convey to me. Everything I have achieved has been because of him but a lot of time I try to take the credit for myself, being humble and giving credit where credit is due is rather tough to do and I need to grow in that area. I love everything about God and I love the feeling of being surrounded by him but I still chase things in this world. When I give God the time, I can achieve everything that he has laid out before me but I cannot push myself to get to that point and this is where I am trying to get back to in my spiritual walk. Acts 4:12 states, "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." One way, one life, one choice. I am sick of being just all right, I need to have joy, I need support, I need to be strong, I need to overcome the one who opposes me. I cannot be okay with being distracted when I am trying to write. I cannot be pushing aside my time with God to invest in relationships. I cannot be content with just going through my day without messing up and then not have spent time with God. I need to hunger and thirst for everything that he is and when I am full, I need to keep pursuing until I overflow with his ideas, thoughts, passions, and love. He is sufficient, I just need to tap into those resources daily.

Thank you all so much for reading and being faithful even when I have wavered. I hope that this is encouraging to you and I hope that it is somewhat practical for you. Please continue to pray for me and my situation, I know God will work this out for the good of those involved.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 1

Well, it has been a rough week. Guess when you do not wake up to any of your previous alarms, somebody has to wake you violently to get your attention. I feel like I am in a similar place I was in at Kansas State. I am very dry spiritually and I need my thirst to be quenched like no other. I hunger in my soul but my flesh wants only what is tangible. Self-destruction has begun but there is still time to recover. Only time will tell what the outcome is but I feel like it is time to actually start over. I challenged myself at Kansas State to grow everyday and seek God first in my life and I know that I benefitted greatly from it. When I got distracted, I got into the pattern that I have been in for almost two years now and it has been almost completely destructive with some nice patch work to make it look nice. I know God is working but at times I feel like I have put a hold on the construction because what I want is more important. I know the LORD will provide for me and he will watch over me but I feel like he is fed up with my behavior and like Saul, I needed a radical event to turn things around. I have been depriving myself and others from the fullness of God and it is up to me to allow him to shine again.

Psalm 32:8 states, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." During this time period, I have walked of the pathway that God has set before me, I stopped listening to my guide. I have ignored my advisor but he has still watched over me. He has put me in a situation where I have to choose between the kingdom or the world. He has given me another chance and what I do with it will determine who I ultimately become. This is a pivotal point in my life and I feel like it will change who I am forever. When will it end? The answer is when I put it to rest. When will I overcome what He said I could overcome with his strength? The answer is when I finally choose to overcome it and stop living as if I do not know him. The Biblical standards set forth are not just guidelines or morals, they are written law and a means in which to live by. Violation of those rules by any standard leads to immorality and sin. Sin brings the need for atonement but still ultimately leads to a physical death. Good news is that we have hope for spiritual eternal life, bad news is that it is a process and it is going to be a constant struggle.

My challenge is to go 30 days (at least). If I do not post by 11 PM on any given night, please inbox me or post a comment on the previous day's post so that I will be held responsible. I need people to push me otherwise I can fail. In all this, please do not give up on me because I need people behind me and convincing me that I can take it to the next level.

I am still praying for all of you and I hope you will continue to do the same for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson