Day 34

I am loving getting to spend some time with my sister and I would not trade the past couple days with her for anything else since I have been here at NCU. She is so encouraging and uplifting to me and I know I can go to her whenever I need to have something resolved. I have been a terrible brother and have not really returned the favor of spending good time with her though and I feel like I have neglected her somewhat. Everything just seems like a mess from time to time and I go through vicious cycles where I have everything organized and going great and then other times everything is pure chaos and falling apart. I feel like I am moving back into one of those chaotic points where I do not have any sort of handle on things and I tend to get upset rather easily and it really bothers me. I need to control it though and find a way to break the cycle so that I can continue to grow and not fall down again. This spiritual battle is a tough one and it is a long struggle that I am going to win and everyday I need to continue to remind myself of that because as soon as I let my guard down, my mind wants to control everything I do rather than the Spirit that lives inside of me. I have battled and do not want to be setback by anything that could make me stumble but for that to happen I need to keep myself out of situations where I can make a mistake and really hurt myself and the progress that has been made.

God is doing some reconstruction in my life and before I try to take over the project, I need to let him finish some more work or everything will just get messed up again. I am still on the fence of breaking some old habits and the next few days and weeks are critical in the process of moving on and trying to mature as a Christian. I have to stay focused and keep people around me who will support me and look out for me as much as possible. I know that I get in trouble when I isolate myself and keep things to myself and I need to avoid that as much as possible. There is strength in numbers in many different ways for me and when it comes to avoiding certain temptations, they can be my greatest defense. I hate giving myself the opportunity to dispel any good that is around me and I think that the attack I came under a few weeks ago was a result of that. The demon that came against me thinks he has gotten the upper hand but he is sadly mistaken and he will see that nothing will get me to back down from where I have been. Nehemiah 2:17 states, "Then I said to them, 'You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace." I have been disgraced and I may not have a good name publicly. However, I had better learned my lesson from that or I am going to find myself in places that I do not want to be and in more trouble than I could imagine. This critical point will pass and I will move into more serious stages but for now I need to focus on the task at hand.

I know I missed a couple of days but it has been a long couple of weeks and days. They have been busy and a lot of things have been pulling me away. I have been battling and it is easy to just say, "I will post tomorrow" and push it off to the next day and the next day but I assure you that this will not be happening. Thank you for those of you who have told me that you missed my posts, it means a lot! I am praying for all of you!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 33

I need to watch myself and stay on track because this is not seeming as easy as it was at first. I have a desire to spend time with God but I need to continue to break the cycle of finding myself to busy or tired to find time for Him. I need to keep my mind and thoughts focused on Him or this will all go downhill very quick and I do not think I can handle that type of slope at this point. I know He is trying to do amazing things and I feel like He is still trying to make me understand things and my thoughts right now are just making me realize my need for Him. I cannot back down off my intensity for Christ or I will find myself losing the battle time after time and I am not going to allow that to happen. I get frustrated when people around me do not carry the same intensity or passion that I do and I realize that sometimes with God, I am the one who needs to pick it up. God is pushing me right now and He knows that I need to continue to get over some humps, He has disciplined me once and I am learning from that but I cannot just move on and say well I learned my lesson and then lose my intensity or sense of urgency. That is a funny phrase, "have a sense of urgency," we need to constantly be thinking about the fact that His return could come at anytime and we should be spending as much time as we can getting close to him and bringing people into His Kingdom because it could all be over in the "twinkling of an eye."

I am always so concerned about the next person and who they are pointing fingers at that I do not even notice when I am pointing a finger, I usually should be pointing a finger at myself. There are times when I am able to have a good sense of humility and I will know that I am falling down. Other times I am just cruising along and nothing else matters but I spiral away from God and it leaves the door open for me to get burned. I cannot tell you how essential it is for us to get people around us who are going to build us up instead of let us fall. I am beginning to see the benefits of this and I am thankful for that, one thing I need to be cautious of though is falling or causing other people to fall because they are just as human as I am and we can make mistakes together. I have been there when my Christian friends are doing stuff they should not be and it makes it very difficult to stand firm. The things we say and our actions around all people reflect what is truly going on in our lives, if we say one thing and do another then we are going to lose respect and validity in our speech because nothing matches up with what we tell people. Endless lies hurt us more than anything because they push people away from us and like I said, it hurts our credibility with people. It is not about honesty necessarily, it just reflects poorly on who we are, especially if we claim to walk in step with Christ but we are hiding a ton of stuff under the surface. I am tired of living with a top layer on that is just disgusting underneath. Sure, it is a struggle everyday and we make mistakes but when mistakes become habit and habit becomes lifestyle then there is a major problem that is occurring. The scripture I read tonight has nothing to do really with what I have been talking about but it is good wisdom from Proverbs and I think it is something I really need to meditate on and apply to my life. Proverbs 3:21-26 states, "My son, preserve sound judgement and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared." I cannot wait for the day that my sleep is sweet and God is my confidence day in and day out. It is available to me right now but I have to take hold of it and allow it to happen. It shall be a good day when I mature a little bit more and this wisdom is actually a part of who I am.

I hope you all had a great day! My sister is in town and it was so nice to see her and spend time with her. God is doing amazing things in both of our lives right now and I know she is exactly what I needed at this time. She has always been my comfort and my earthly wisdom and guide, I cannot tell you how much it means to me that she is here. Please continue to pray for me and my wrist, we have two more games (today). Thank you all for reading, feel free to comment or request prayer.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 32

Long days just seem to be routine for me now and I do not think they are even worth noting because they happen so frequently. I was up at six this morning to finish a paper and then I had class at 8 followed immediately by leaving for a baseball trip about three hours away. We played a doubleheader and lost both but I was able to pitch in both games and I really enjoyed it. My time on the mound today was peaceful and I found myself having fun while going after hitters and not being afraid of what they were going to do. Although we had a rough day, I had a good time playing the one game I love and I cannot wait to head to practice tomorrow and then play again on Thursday. My wrist is still not one hundred percent but I feel that it is getting there and I know God is going to do something miraculous so that I can finish off this season and possibly play over the summer. God has given me such a great ability and opportunity to play this game and I more than likely only have a few years left so I am going to make the most of every time I am out on the field. My sister comes into town tomorrow and I am extremely excited for that. She is pretty much my best friend and we are going to have a blast together. I hope she can get a glimpse of what I have been up to this semester and help me where I may need some fine tuning. The semester is coming to a close and things are getting busy with classes and all but I need to just continue to stick it out and allow for my time management to take over and I need to remain diligent when getting homework done so that I am not completely overwhelmed as the assignment due dates start to pile on.

Throughout this whole time I need to continue to keep my eyes fixed on God and not become too tired to spend time with him. His time is precious to me and if I can make time for Him then I will be abel to make time for other things. I always make excuses for not having enough time to do certain things but in reality I am just not putting forth the effort to get those things done efficiently so that I can do more. Psalm 27:14 states, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." I am still waiting for God to do something amazing but I know that He is at work. It might be another couple of weeks or even months but He is attempting to transform me and it is time for me to allow for that to happen. Patience is key even though I am trying to break free from certain things. I need to show that I have matured in my decision making and then God will be able to slowly trust me with more and more and I will eventually feel like the next thing that God hands me cannot come slow enough. I will need to be Spiritually rich and not allow for anything to hinder me or dry me out in a spiritual sense. Some nights I feel like I have nothing to talk about and I feel like that is because I am not as connected with God and I need to be better about that in that I need to spend MORE time with God outside of just my blog and then I will have words of wisdom on a daily basis that benefits many different people. As long as I am in the Word and allowing God to use me, then I am perfectly happy with where I am at from an evangelistic standpoint. It is up to me to expand and whether or not I do that could leave very little can be a problem and I know that God is working in, around, and outside of us and all it takes is dedication to this single, common goal and success will take care of it self.

Thank you all for reading, I hope you all had a good day. One again, I just need prayer for my wrist as I need it to get to 100% as soon as possible because it is very difficult to be successful on the field and in life it general. If you need prayer, just ask and I will be happy to provide it foe you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 31

So I know that yesterday was day 30 and I did not make a big deal about it because as I have said before, it is not about a consecutive days streak, it is about growing closer to God each day and having a little bit of documentation concerning it. This is my journal that I can look back on where God has brought me from and where I am going. My spirit is willing and I am training my body to overcome it's natural desires because there is something greater waiting for me at the end of the road. I have been tired of just becoming complacent with where I am at and I feel like I have taken the initiative to battle that complacency and to allow the things of God to flourish in my life. I have set my sights on things above and while some things are trying to linger, I am going to shake them off of my feet and I am going to soar with the eagles. It is time to get above the clouds where God's vision is all I can see and the ways of the world are not a concern personally. Occasionally we will be used to help others get off the ground and then we have to dip back beneath the clouds and see just how messed up things are at the time being but we will be with a group that will not allow us to land and get enticed with the old ways. I am so ready to have victory completely in my life but I remind myself that everyday is a journey and a battle and I have to keep pushing myself to achieve the goals that God has set before me. I am breaking free from several different things and the wisdom that I am gaining from people around me is helping me immensely and for that I am extremely grateful.

From time to time I state that I hope this can be a ministry tool and that some of you reading this will be affected by it in some way, shape, or form. I am not trying to convert you but I just want you to be able to see exactly what is going on in my life and show you that in some ways I am not all that different from you. God is doing amazing things and transforming me in ways I never thought were possible. I hope that you are all able to recognize this not only in my writing but in your daily encounters with me, if nothing is changing then this is all for show and I need to put myself in check. I am here to grow and learn from mistakes and as I said earlier, this journal will help me look back on a lot of that. One thing I need to remember though is that as a ministry tool, this is not just my plan, it is God's and He is in control of all of it. It is not because of my accomplishments that this blog is flourishing, it is because God is moving and instilling something in me that I need to share and it is giving me joy beyond belief. Colossions 4:1 states, "Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a master in heaven." Basically this verse is about being humble in your ministry and even as a captain on the baseball team, I have to remember that even though I have seniority and I am in a leadership role, I am not in my position so that I can just delegate authority, it is also my job to get in the dirt and do what is required because God has given me this opportunity and He can take it away from me if he chooses. This blog is also a blessing to me and i can grow without it. If I start to try and take credit and glorify my accomplishments on here, God can and will humble me if He needs to. In everything that we do, it is God who puts us in the position where we are at and allows us to grow.

I hope you all had a good day, I am headed down to Iowa again tomorrow but it is a turnaround trip and I will be back tomorrow night. Please pray for safe travels and for my wrist (it appears to be getting better). I will continue to pray for all of you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 30

Today was a pretty awesome day, I got to sleep in a bit, went to church, watched and played some baseball, did some homework, and am finishing the night watching the Dodger game and doing a little homework. I am still dedicated to the things of God and I am glad that He has placed me where I am at and I am able to learn from things every single day. I know that I am good enough to be called his and no matter what Satan tries to tell me, I am going to continue to chase after God and if I have any setbacks along the way, I will learn and grow from them just as much as I would grow if I were continuing to do things the way I should be. I want to be the best that I can be in Christ and I am going to strive for that each and everyday regardless of what I did the day before. If I am given another day to live, then I have another day to make sure that I glorify my King the right way and I can listen to his voice for what He wants next from me. I am going to push myself for perfection because I know what I am capable of and I do not want to come up short of my potential. I have talked about leaving it all on the field but when it comes to practice and a daily routine, it is easy to forget about the potential we have and how we can develop that and harness it. Practice is one of the most daunting things we can experience but it helps us become greater and ultimately will prepare us for the tests that may come.

Paul describes life as a race and how we are running to ultimately achieve the prize that Christ has set before us. I like to think of practice in our daily life to be reading the word, spending time with God, praying, and listening to the Spirit. The game or the test comes when we face the struggles of life or Satan as he tries to attack us. If we are prepared for what we have to face then we will be able to make it through without many hiccups in the road. If we lack in the practice area, then we leave so much potential as potential. If we are unable to develop potential then it is just wasted and it means nothing in the end. We can always talk about how good we could have been but we need to be talking about how great we are because of the time we have put into maturing and sharpening our skills and tools. Proverbs 16:3 states, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Also, Proverbs 16:6 states, Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through fear of the Lord a man avoids evil." Both of these verses were good for me tonight and I felt like I needed wisdom so I turned to Proverbs for a little bit of guidance and encouragement. Keep battling in the Lord and doing what He has asked of you and you will be successful because he is faithful. Additionally, fear God because His wrath is greater than any humiliation that you will receive on earth for not taking part in the world and it will tear you apart and leave you feeling empty. If you want to feel whole then you will find refuge in God and allow him to direct your steps because nothing on earth can compare to his embrace and his grace showering over your life.

I hope you all had a great day, I am working on getting these posts up earlier and giving God more time out of my day because he deserves more from me. I hope that God continues to watch over you and I thank you for your faithful reading.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 29

NCU Baseball had another good but rough day and it was a long one as well. We split a pair of games against Lawrence University from Appleton, Wisconsin because we were unable to hold on to a 9 run lead in the second game of the double dip. If there is one thing I learned today, it is that you are never safe no matter how comfortable you may feel or even how comfortable of a situation you may be in. Everything could be going your way one moment and then slowly you begin to slide down that mountain you are on. You might not make any mistakes along the way but if you start to get defensive and you play not to lose then you will find yourself in a world of trouble. We take our foot off the pedal for one second and the enemy closes in and there is nothing we can really do about it at that point, once you start to let him back in then there is a good chance it will all end up falling apart before it is all said and done. Always be prepared for something to come after you because nobody likes to lose and they will find a way to battle all the way to the end. Likewise, when we get knocked down we cannot just give up, we need to battle until the end and just trust that everything will be all right. It was tough today watching the other team just come in and take over in the last few innings and not being able to do anything about it. I know how God feels now when the enemy is devouring me and he just has to sit back and watch because He did all that He could when he had the chance and yet I find some way to mess it all up. We must never back down from where we are and we must continue to squash the enemy until we have achieved victory.

I had my eyes opened tonight and I think I have heard this from my mom before but it only just registered with me until tonight. My name is Joseph Aaron and I know that God gave me those two names for a purpose. I think God is calling me to be a leader based on those two names, I believe that if someone prays and names their kids according to the Spirit's guidance, then God will provide that couple with a name that is fitting. Joseph became a great leader over Egypt and God blessed him after all the trials that he faced. I have been through many trials but I still feel like God is faithful and his will bring his work to completion. Next, Aaron was charged with the task of watching over the Israelites when Moses was not available and I feel like that would be me when it comes to baseball and just in general. I have faced many trials just in the last few years and I have struggled in my own battle to be more Christ-like but I am finally learning and hopefully applying things a little bit better and I feel like it is all so that I am able to be an effective reader down the road. My will to break free gets stronger every day but I do know that the attacks from the enemy will increase as I break the bondage that I have been under. I know that God is leading me right now and I hope that it continues to equate to wise choices and growing in my knowledge of Him every single day. I do not think I have ever been more sure of my decision to follow Christ but I do know that I need to watch out because the enemy is lurking just like Lawrence was in the game today. It comes down to who is willing to work for the victory in the end and I am not giving up.

I know I need to get better with these posts, my eyes get tired when I try to post late at night and I lay down and then I am out and unable to finish my post. Yesterday was a long day with travel and getting back late but my goal is to post tonight before 10 so that I am more focused and giving God the time that He deserves. I can grow more when my whole mind is focused and when I give Him more time to speak to me. Thank you all for being faithful in reading and I hope you all had a great day. Please continue to pray for me and I will continue to do so for you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson