Day 20

Another eventful day here at North Central University. Had some good classes with good discussion and really enjoyed the discussion of family in my youth class. I also had a mentoring meeting that could not have gone any better. I feel like the next few weeks or so of mentoring will be a good discipline for me and will help me grow immensely. I have never had someone pushing me to grow in a certain area like this and hopefully I will grow in my understanding of the subject and will be able to apply it directly to my own life as well as my vocational possibilities. God has blessed me by giving me the last few weeks to really refocus and settle back into his word while at the same time recognizing my need for growth. I have been sidelined for a few weeks with an injury and let me just say that it is hard to be optimistic when nothing is ever changing. I wish I had the ability to alter the situation but I have to work through it and grow in every way that is possible. Too be disciplined is to never give up even when things are their toughest. I have tried to keep a level head through the years but always found myself desiring something else even when I struggled and could not figure things out. I am tired of just relying on God when I need something, finding my passion for him when I am doing well and just desire for his passion and heart is something I have definitely had trouble in finding the past and I feel like I am closer to that than I have ever been before. His understanding and care for me is so great and I would never even feel like I have a shot to prove myself to Him if it were not for HIm great love for me.

I have been questioning myself lately and am wondering why I do somethings the way I do. Am I always expecting something in return? Or do I have a servants heart and am I willing to allow God the opportunity to use me in whichever way he sees fit? I feel like I do not get recognized for some of the things I do but the personal satisfaction from helping someone out is much greater than anything I could ever receive from a person here on earth. I think that God has designed me to go the extra mile for people so that I can be a reflection of Him and not have to worry about why I am always the "servant". Unfortunately, I find myself looking for the recognition and I want people to say how great I am when it comes to anything in particular. I have a hard time humbling myself and accepting the status that I am currently under. God is watching me though and I know that He smiles the more I do the things that he has asked of me. Psalm 75:6-7 states, "No one from the east or the west or from the desert can exalt a man. But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another." The more that I seek God and the more I am obedient to the plans that He has set in place, I will see the benefits soon enough. I cannot get caught up in the moment and expect to see results immediately because that is selfish and reflects poorly on the values of Christ. If I continue to have a servant's heart then I will just recognize things as they happen to me because I will not be expecting anything in return, I will just feel good about helping those around me. I can use this on the field, in the classroom, at work, and just amongst my peers and family.

I hope you all had a good day, I am two-thirds of the way to my goal and I will continue to battle everyday to reach that goal. I will continue to pray for all of you and hope you are all doing well. I trust that God is working in all of you and I hope you are giving him the space to invest in your life. Thank all of you for reading!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson