Day 59

I think that after today I am no longer going to post my titles as days, the days were meant to be part of the original 30 days but now I think original titles from here on out would have much more meaning. I have had a hard time the past week coping with things but tonight I went and hit and was able to clear my head. I know that is not the best way to take care of my mind but it does help and then when I settled down I started doing this so I think I will be able to get more out of my time with God rather than fuming the whole time. Looking back at a year with many ups and downs, I know this year has changed me so much from start to finish. I realized that I need to depend on myself and look to others for advice and sometimes i need to take it and other times I need to disregard it. People will disappoint and people will surprise you but you always have those you can rely on. Things will change everyday and situations will get better or worse but how we respond is what truly shows us who we are. As individuals we need to stop looking for who we are and ask God to reveal who we are to ourselves, then we can embrace ourselves and make the most of every opportunity. No matter what happens, he is always there and will help us through any tough time and will show us stuff we never knew was possible. Then he will show us stuff we do not want to see and we will make other plans for ourselves but in the end his ideas are so much better than ours and we have to make the most of it.

Today's devotional is called "Taking Time to Pray" and the text is found in Matthew 6:6 which states, "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen." Pretty much this is telling us that we need to make time available to God other than when it is convenient for ourselves and not when we feel like it is time to give God his due. I know that I find myself praying right before bed every night and I know it is not the best time to pray because I fall asleep most of the time mid prayer and I am not allowing God to speak to me. I have addressed this before but it is still sort of a problem and I know the change needs to be made. Giving God time to communicate with us is important because it is our time to grow  and his time to invest in us so that we can become who he wants us to be. All God asks of me is my best and if I cannot give him my best than what can I expect from him in return? My prayers cannot be answered if I am not listening. My walk cannot be complete without his guidance. My life cannot be complete without him. Distractions are Satan's unintentional way of keeping us away from God. The only reason I say unintentional is because we create and eliminate distractions and it is our choice as to whether to invest quality time or to give the bare minimum. Our prayer on this should be "I know I can pray when I ____ (drive, am falling asleep, eating, etc...) but there are too many distractions to make it my prayer room. My life includes time to spend with You. Show me when it is. " That will be my prayer and I hope you can make it yours. Corrie ten Boom "Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?" This means are you relying on prayer or are you just using it when you are in desperate need? Can you make God an everyday priority or is it just when all else fails and you know you have nowhere else to go? Sure he wants you to come to him regardless but it is much easier to do it from the start rather than to make up for it in the end.

I hope you are all having a great holiday season and that you all enjoy the last day of 2008. Follow your dreams for the next year and do not hold back because you could be missing the best time you have ever had. Let God be the steering wheel and just go along for the ride. He will take you to places you could never imagine and it all starts now. Have a good night and God Bless.

Joseph Robinson

Day 58

So I have been thinking the past few days about the effort that I put in on the baseball field and the effort I put in towards my relationship with God and sometimes this blog. I feel that if I put in about 2/5 of the effort I put in on the baseball field, I would be growing  a lot more than I am right now. Logically though, I should be putting in 2 times the effort I would put in on the baseball field in order to become stronger and better. Just knowing that judgement is before me should be motivation enough to stand strong and to seek God everyday, that and it is my calling to do great things for the Kingdom of God. Like I said the other day, embracing the situations in which we have the chance to do the right thing will help us immensely and make life so much easier. When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, he returned to find that some of the disciples were sleeping and he said, "are you asleep? Could you not keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." I find myself in this situation rather frequently, and it is where I am up for doing what I am told but I fall asleep and take my guard down. If I stay awake and pray and seek God, he will strengthen me. I know that I say this all the time, but my effort has been poor and I am going to step up and make the change. I have enough spirit to travel the world and preach all over, but my body is weak and the only way I can overcome that is through prayer and faith in God. 

Today's devotion is, "Looking for Direction" and the verse is one I have already used but am going to address again. It is found in Jeremiah, chapter 29 verse 11. It states, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " It is amazing how well I know this verse and simply cannot grasp its concept everyday. I know as always that I am just in a bumpy time in my life and I will get through it with God's help. However, it does get frustrating at some points and I feel God is the one to blame but then I remember that I am the one making some poor choices that lead me down roads that I never should have gone. I know he is there to guide me but giving up control is hard because as humans we want to control our own destiny. I cannot get anything done on my own anymore and if I want him to come through for me, I need to submit everything. For example,  I was supposed to shoot a recruiting video for UNLV over Thanksgiving but it rained and I was unable to use the fields. Then over the past week it has rained twice and I was supposed to shoot today but the fields are soaking and I leave for California tomorrow with no field to use and I will only be back in Phoenix for a few days before I leave to go back to school.  I cannot understand why this has happened but in some ways I want to put it on me for making poor choices and possibly angering God. I know that this is not a very logical reason but that is what I want to assume and though it is more than likely just chance, I like to kick myself when I am done and blame my failures for why I am not able to do certain things. I have a feeling that things will turn out okay either way, but I just wish things were not so complicated all the time.

Philip James Bailey said, "Walk boldly and wisely.... There is a hand above that will help you on." What I take from this is that as long as I continue to do the work of God and walk in his ways, he will be there to push me and to help me through the tough times. He does not want us to fail and he does our best to help us, but we have to be willing to take his help.

Well, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and that you have spent some good time with your families. Without the birth of Jesus, there would have been no death and resurrection. While the atonement is the big kicker, the birth has just as much to do with salvation (because it also fulfilled prophecy). Hope you all have a wonderful day.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 57

Today was an awesome day, I got to sleep in a bit and then not too long after I woke up, I went to the mall with my sister and my mom and then I played golf with my dad. Seems like a short day but I was out from 11-6 and I had a blast spending time with my family and just being home with them all. My brother is coming into town tomorrow so that will add to the fun we are going to have and then Christmas is on Thursday, almost a day away now. I know that as I keep myself occupied with things that are beneficial to me as well as the work of God, I will not fall into sin so easily and I will be able to do the work I have been called to do. When things get tough, I will find a way out and have God guide me where he wants me to go. I am hopefully putting together a recruiting video on Friday (weather permitting) and I hope that goes well because I am not sure where God wants me to be but over this break, that question should be answered for sure. I will know where he is leading me and what exactly he wants me to do.

Day 2 is titled "Rest for the Weary" and the verse from Isaiah 6:8 states, "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!" This is pretty much the question that God asks us every single day, especially when we are not following his ways when we know we should be. He says, "Whom shall I send" and he waits for us to answer the call but most of the time it goes unanswered. The missed opportunity you had at lunch, the failed conversation on the field, the big fall in front of your friends when you could have said no or not responded the way you did. We have choices everyday to continue to follow God or not, it is not just a one time decision, it is a daily decision. When we give it all to God, things get easier in the sense that we are sure of our daily decision to follow him and we feel security in him. That is why he provides rest for us; we need someone we can run to who can restore us when we feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is just an expression, but when people look to you all the time and you do not know what to do, God is right there asking you to answer the call and to seek him.

You may find this a bit cheesy, but I think that it applies to me and so I am going to use it anyway. Jack Sparrow says in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies that when the time comes and he has the chance to do the right thing, he, "Likes to wave at those moments as they pass by." This is almost exactly how my life is in a literal sense. There are times when I could do the right thing and make the decision to not sin but I do it anyway because my human nature says, "it will not hurt, it is okay because it only affects you" but in reality, my choices can affect tons of people and most of the time they do. It is up to me to take ahold of those opportunities and do what I know in my heart is right. The other time comes when I have the chance to minister to someone and I tell myself that if the time comes that I will do it, but most of the time, the time comes and I just let it go and do not even think twice about the missed opportunity. I know I have said this before, but the call has been made and the question is, are we willing to answer it? I know that I need to, but I have had a hard time doing it up until now and i am going to do what I can to make sure that I do as I have been called.

Since my devotional book only has about one verse a day, I think that I am going to memorize the verse of the day everyday so that when I get to the end, I will be able to see what I remember and see how I am supposed to apply it to life, that way I will be ready to help myself out when the time comes and I can reflect on the things I learned throughout the book and apply it.

Hope that you all have had a great day and that you have done all your Christmas shopping. Have a good night.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 56

So being home alone is tough, there is a lot of temptation and you feel like you want to unwind from finals, there are many things that can lead you into trouble. Giving in is easy and I definitely crossed some boundaries today. I feel like my postings seem to be repetitive and I am not actually going anywhere with it because some of what I am posting, is just what I know. It is easy to scan the bible and find stuff you know and then talk about it, it is finding something that is new and picking it apart that will help one grow just as well. I also feel like I have been posting for length rather than depth. I feel that if I am not posting a certain amount, then I have failed. In all honesty, that is far from the truth and it is Satan trying to make me feel like I am not good enough, like I cannot do it and I feel that has contributed to some of my repetitiveness. So in an effort to try and make some changes and allow myself to grow a little more, I am going to start a devotional book that my mom gave me and I think I will do it every morning and then post my thoughts. I am also going to start memorizing as I have said that I need to and I will let you know how my memorization is going, I think that it is important and its time to start taking action in my own life as well as out in the world.

The first devotion is titled "Seeking the Truth" and the verse is from 1st Timothy 6:20, I like the translation in the book and I will give the NIV translation as well. The book's translation says, "Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge." The NIV version states, "Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge." The next page talks about discernment and growing up and questioning what you have always been taught. Throwing away some things and taking hold of others while just clinging to some of the things you have always knew. I think deciding where to go and what to believe for teenagers is tough. With the world throwing sin and temptation in the eyes of all students and the church barely making a mark, students are lost somewhere in between but more towards the side of sin and the only way to make changes is through faith. There is a quote by Blaise Pascal and he says, "We know the truth not only by the the reason but also by the heart." Our heart guides us everyday though sometimes we do not follow our heart's desire and we fall. We understand truth because we know in our heart what is and is not truth. It is a feeling deep down that inspires us and forces us to question and search for answers.

Over the course of the semester and as I was in high school, I made the decision that I was going to follow Christ but I still had some things in the way of allowing me to do that. Questioning the decisions I was making, the lifestyle I was living, and where I wanted to be when I graduated all helped me become who I am today and they have made me a better person. I am at the stage in which a turning point is happening and its up to me to decide which direction I am going. Discernment is going to play a huge role in helping me make things work. Though I struggle, I will persevere and I will overcome sin with the help of God.

I stayed up late talking to a friend last night and this person has become a positive influence in my life and I am thankful for that. I think I might be having some sort of an effect on them as well and I am thankful for that as well. God is moving in great ways and this is just the beginning. I need to start living everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Knowing that if I die, I gave all that I could while I was here. I have not done a good job of that and I recognize that. Making a change is going to be pivotal for me and will have a great effect on where I am 6 months from now.

I hope you all are excited for Christmas and I hope you continue to seek God. I know he is all that I need but I have a hard time showing that to him. Do your best to show him the praise he deserves and give yourself to him.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 55

No need to tell me that my consecutive days streak of 2 ended... I traveled down to Oklahoma city on the day of my last final and was busy from the time I woke up until I went to bed at almost 12 in OKC. The next day I spent time with my Grandpa and Uncle as well as my Mom. Let me just say, if you have ever heard Abbot and Costello, my Grandpa and Uncle are about as close as you can get to the real thing. I enjoyed spending time there and going out with my mother to do some stuff. Then yesterday, I drove for 17 hours straight from OKC to Phoenix and when I got here I unpacked and then I went to bed because I went to my old church and joined the Bible Quiz practice this morning at 9. Last night was a little rough and I slipped up a little as well as today, but I am back on track with the blogs and I will not let myself nor God down. I hope that you all will continue to follow even when I miss days. I really think that people can benefit from it and I know that I am growing and trying to make changes everyday. Even though sometimes I feel like I am just hitting the skipping point on a DVD, I know that I am getting stronger and striving to make changes. With that, I was reading Luke and I came across something that I thought was interesting and thought of a good way to apply it to me.

Luke 18:31-34 states, "Jesus took the Twelve aside and told them,'We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him, and kill him. On the third day he will rise again.' The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about." Here we find the disciples trying to understand what must take place in order for prophecy to be fulfilled. Not only that, but I bet there were a few who understood but did not know why it had to be Jesus. They stayed quiet for it was not the time to question the Son of Man's own prediction about his death. After all, he is the Son of Man.  There must have been confusion among them and almost for sure when they had some time alone, they were talking amongst themselves about all this prophesy and were trying to figure out why it must take place now. It is said that the night is always darkest before dawn and we see that the world will get worse before God returns and reigns.  The disciples had to understand this in order for them to understand why the prophecy was so important, they eventually realized this after they saw Jesus in the time following his resurrection, but it took time.

In my life, I feel that I have hit some of the darkest points I will ever hit and I feel that the dawn is upon me. Soon the sun will have risen and the son will have risen in me and the light will shine through me and I will be a good representation of my creator. This sun is one that will never set and will never run out of its energy because the fuel comes from him who created me. I still need to get to that point where I am sold out 100% for Christ and until that comes, I am going to keep falling and getting back up, I want to get to the point where I am standing firm permanently and then picking others up as they fall down. Like the disciples, I do not always understand why I go through some of the things I go through but God has a plan and as long as I stop being foolish and making the same mistakes over and over, his plan will be set into action. It is all about trust and faith in him and letting him take control of the things that are too great for us to handle on our own. Temptation and sin for instance, I still find myself trying to overcome it on my own and I still fail because I cannot do it on my own. I do not think it is so much trial and error as it is just me being ignorant and not doing what I should be doing. I am trying to make the break one where I break a few habits and then take them back with me as I head into a new semester. I am going to pray tons over break because I think that even if I only spend one more semester at K-State, he is going to work through me to reach some kids on that campus and it is up to me to answer the call and seek him so that I can touch others. Things may have to take place in my life in order for that to happen but like the disciples, I need to try and clear any confusion and just take it for what it is worth when it comes from God.

I am going to post everyday at least until I head back to Kansas because I have another long 17 hour drive back to OKC on January 13, so I am looking at about 3 solid weeks of posts and I want people to hold me accountable. I still do not think it is acceptable to miss these (especially over break) and I want people to know what is going on if I do not post. Please just ask me what is up and why I did not post because I will say that about 99 percent of the time I would NOT have a good reason too. I hope you all had a great weekend and that finals went well for all students who had them and I hope you all made it home in a safe and timely manner. I will continue to pray for you and I hope you will do the same for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 54

Well, today I was able to manage a 68 on my first college final only to bounce back with an 81 on my next one and my Algebra final tonight hopefully is an the 80s to 90s range. I definitely prepared better for the last two finals and I know that I got the grade I deserved so the only person I can be upset with is myself. Slacking is not something I usually do but I thought I could cruise the rest of the way and I definitely was put in check. I know that next semester I will spend the whole semester making sure that I go 100% in the classroom as well as outside the classroom. With Baseball season around the corner, I will definitely be busy just playing club ball but there are many more important priorities that will need to come before in order that I can be successful all around. I will continue to seek God and try and eliminate some things that have consumed me throughout the semester such as laziness, arrogance, games, movies, facebook. I know that things have started to become sort of a priority in my life and in a sense, the correct terminology would be that they are becoming idols. We are warned to be cautious of setting idols before us whether they are physical or mental. 

It is said in Ezekiel 14:1-6, "Some of the elders of Israel came to me and sat down in front of me. then the word of the Lord came to me. 'Son of man, these men have set up idols in their hearts and have put wicked stumbling blocks before their faces. Should I let them inquire of me at all? Therefore speak to them and tell them, "This is what the sovereign Lord says: When any Israelite sets up his idols in his heart and puts a wicked stumbling block before his face and then goes to a prophet, I the Lord will answer him myself keeping with his great idolatry. I will do this to recapture the hearts of the people of Israel, who have deserted me for their idols." ' 'Therefore say to the house of Israel, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Repent! Turn from your idols and renounce all your detestable practices." ' " Sorry about the confusing quotation marks, the Bible was confusing me and I was trying to figure them all out and decided to just start putting them where I saw fit. Anyway, This is pretty much saying that we must learn to put God first and not let other things get in the way of our time with him, then these things become idols and that is against the commands of God. This applies to the Israelites at the time but in our age, this is more of an issue with video games, movies, internet, books, TV, sports, and work. Some of these are extremes but for the most part, we can limit how much of these activities we do and in other cases these are beneficial to us growing as well as surviving in life but they still should not completely consume us. We are told that when we put a stumbling block in front of us and then search for answers, the Lord will answer in regards to the idolatry in hopes of bringing us back to him and taking us away from the idols we have set in place.

I know that this is a struggle for me, as I mentioned, facebook can consume much of my time during the day. Video games and movies are also a major problem and I know that I need to make changes. It takes away from me doing my devotion at a decent time in the day when I am more comprehensive and can make clearer statements. I have let myself become somewhat consumed by things of this world, rather than using these things as leisure during my time here. I think that once I apply the fact that life is finite and that I can only do so much constructive stuff in the short time I am here, I should not spend my time with frivolous things that will be detrimental to my walk and to my effectiveness on this earth. I have talked about a higher calling and I feel that everyday and every step we take should be towards that higher calling. Sure there is time to relax but at the same time, we have tons of work to do and at this rate most of us will hopefully be disappointed that we could not do more when our time is done. If we recognize it early enough, we can make changes and I think that is what I started doing about 9 weeks ago.  My eyes have been slowly opened to so many things that I never knew and now applying everything is the real task, but I hope I can be the best at being who God wants me to be and I hope that I can instill change in myself as well as those around me.

Well, I head home tomorrow (weather permitting) and I will be in Oklahoma City for a day to spend time with some family at this time of year when family is the focus and we learn to appreciate some of the smaller things in life (hopefully). I hope that you all have been having an awesome week and I hope that everyone is encouraged everyday and that the buck does not stop with me blogging, but I hope that you will pass this on to someone who needs it or that you will just invest in someone else who you know is searching for something. Have a great night and God bless.

Joseph Robinson

Day 53

Well, I am just outside 9 hours from having to take my first final in college. Unfortunately there were there was a few inches of snow today and walking around is rather hard. I do not mind the cold weather and the snow is actually just another reminder of how great God is. He has helped me through so much this past week and I am finally beginning to grasp how to overcome the desires that my human nature has and to follow what God has for me. The Spirit is starting to take more of a role in my life and thanks to a great mom, I finally started to take things more seriously. I know there are people I can run to and I know that I always have more help. I am excited for break and the things I am going to be able to do to help people and the way things are going to change for me. Next semester is going to be two times better than this one and I cannot wait. I have some words of encouragement for all of you and it also applies to me and those that are helping guide me along.

Paul states in Phillipians 2:12-18, "Therefore my dear friends, as you have always obeyed-- not only in my presence but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe, as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not tun or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad to rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad to rejoice with me." This is pretty much how I feel when I post these blogs. I want people to be able to grow and strive to be great in order that I will know that I have been able to touch people's lives through my own experiences and insights into life. God is not just having me do this for me, he is having me do this to make a profound impact on people that will in turn impact other people.  There is so much that we must do to be pure and blameless but it is not impossible and God will be pleased with our goal to be excellent in everything we do. 

I know that it is hard to strive to so what God wants me to do and to do it without complaint or argument. But as I have said before, it is our duty to shine like stars and be like lights. I want to shine like the child of light that I am and I want to be pleasing in my creator's sight. I want to do everything that he has planned out for me and I want to be successful in his eyes. I am not one who likes to disappoint (unless it comes to those who want me to fail) but as Paul said, "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and act according to his good purpose." For it is not the people of this world that I should fear, but I should fear God. The purpose is not for him to scare us into his presence but we should be conscious of what he has the power to do and we should want to do what is best for us eternally. Now if you are still a little skeptical about whether God really has the power to do what he says, or you are not sure if the whole heaven and hell thing is real, talk to me about it and we will see what we can come up with. There are always explanations in Christ but we have to be willing to seek the answers and be fervent in our search. Once again, "for our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realm." Seek guidance in everything and do not give up. I have learned that over the past year and I have come a long way, if you want to know just how far I have come, ask me and I will be more than willing to tell you.  There is no compromise in salvation, it is black and white meaning there is no in between, it is either a clean slate that you and those who know you are proud of, or it is a dirty slate in which God wants to help you. There is no escaping God, there is only temporary hiding and in the end it will not be fun. 

Keep seeking God and all he has for you. He has something special for each and everyone of us and accepting it is definitely beneficial to us. Do not hold back, go all out and continue to let him work. I hope you all have a good night.

God bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 52

I have been thinking and I know that in the recent weeks I have not been putting in my best effort into this blog and that has also been a reflection of my everyday walk. That is not to say that I have taken a step back but I got sidetracked and sort of tried to justify missing days and not living the way I am supposed to but that is what I (and I believe we) tend to do everyday pertaining to sin and as to why we do not get into the word and spend time with God daily. It is because we always seem to be able to find a way to justify what we are doing in our lives and so that makes it appear okay. Unless one is preaching 24 hours a day or being a missionary and working 24 hours a day, then one needs to be in the word and living a life pleasing to God. There are other exceptions which I cannot possibly cover them all but I think you get the point. I am going to make it a goal as I did at the beginning to accomplish a longer streak of consecutive days than the first one I set which I believe was 13 days or so longer than the original 30 that I planned to do. God is preparing me for bigger things and this is just a stepping stone for me and I know that many people have been able to get something out of this and i am glad about that. I need to stay focused on the prize as Paul stated in Phillipians 3:14, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ." I intend to be all that God wants me to be because he has a higher calling for me and I know that I can fulfill it.

As I was thinking about Finals week, I was struggling to find something that could somewhat pertain to it but at the same time, I wanted to just find something that would fuel a dying fire because I know that in some areas I can start to lack and I wanted to keep it going. Isaiah 12:1-6 states, "In that day you will say: 'I will praise you, O Lord. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.' With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. In that day you will say: 'Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing to the Lord, for the things he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you.' " For those of you facing finals this week and need a little pick me up, now is not the time to turn from God and say you are too busy "studying." He can and will give you strength to get through the week and will give you energy to do well but you have to ask him for help and show that you are willing to put in the time to seek him in the midst of a stressful time. The verse says "I will trust and do not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord is my strength and my song." Do you believe that your finals are too tough for God to help you out with or that he simply does not care? Well how about this, if you finals are too hard for him, why would he care to know every single hair that is on our head or every thought that consumes our mind? NOTHING is impossible for God and if we praise him for who he is and hat he does, he will be there during our time of need this week. He cannot put more hours in the day but he can help you manage your time so that you have plenty of time for sleep and studying as well as those oh so loved study breaks! Give thanks to the Lord and make known unto those around you what he has done and is doing in your life and he will bless you greatly for that. Do not expect him to respond with helping you pick up for slacking all semester, but he will do what he can to help you and it also reflects the effort you put in as well. He wants us to succeed but we have to be willing to do it and we have to apply these concepts to life and not ignoring him until we need something.

I find that this applies to me not just during finals week but everyday as a teenager. I have talked to people who view me as a Christian and they see how I live everyday and I may not be the best representation but I give off a better view than some do. I am not saying I am better than these people but I have just learned that people DO watch and see what I am doing throughout the day and the things I say and I have made the necessary changes in Christ to insure that I have integrity and can be a good representation of Christ. I give God praise in most of the things I do (not quite everything yet, but getting there) and I know that he is pleased with me because of it. I understand that God was angry with the way in which I used to live but he still loves me and it is my job to give him the praise that he is do. He truly is glorious and has changed me so much this semester. I understand how much I need to rely on the Christian body and him in order to stay strong in him and not fall into the world. I have read a few books that have helped me grow by showing me how to sort of overcome the human nature inside me that is pulling me in several directions. God walks among us everyday in Spirit and for some of us, he reigns IN us. He is superior and deserves all the glory for he is great and worthy to be praised. He has given me so much and for that I thank him. He is an awesome God and I will live for him for all my days.

I wanted to mention a song in this blog because I have been listening to it all semester and I think that even just singing it out loud is one of the best ways we can give God praise (as with any worship song) but only as long as we mean what we are singing and they are not just words.

I can feel the way you are and I want more
Like a warm summer rain or the quiet after a storm
rain down on me your glory, Lord
Let my heart know the wonders of your ways
Cause I remember being lost and alone
But before you know, I find myself with hope
Hope to dream of endless fields
with waves of green and be taken away
I'm taken away with you
As I look up at the sky on this glorious night
I can sense you here with me

Oh, I couldn't count the times I've allowed this sky
to remind me that you are glorious
God, you are glorious
It seems every single day I'm amazed
at the way this world reveals your love
I couldn't ever find the words
to explain the ways in which you are glorious
God, you are glorious

And daily I will let my life be a tribute
to the ways in which you are glorious
I wanna live in you
I wanna breathe in you
I wanna be all the things you've called me to
I wanna stay in you
Put my faith in you
I wanna let my life reside in you
Let glory rain down on me
As I look up at the sky on this glorious night
I can sense you here with me

Oh, I couldn't count the times I've allowed this sky
to remind me that you are glorious
God, you are glorious
And daily I will let my life be a tribute
to the ways in which you are glorious

I pray that you all take this to heart and will apply this scripture in the way it is fitting to your life. I am sure there is more for everyone out there other than just what I gathered from it. I believe that giving praise to God is something we need to do everyday and not just at church or when we are with other Christians. It is healthy for us and will reap blessings beyond anything we could ever comprehend. I hope you all have a good night.

God Bless, 
Joseph Robinson

Day 51

So I got some very good insights from yesterday and now know that a few people are there to back me up and to encourage me. If I was not a logical person I could have been offended but I understand when I need help and am open to constructive criticism and if you were one who responded to yesterday's post, thank you! I am not discouraged by where I am at, I have made changes and I know that I am growing closer to who God wants me to be. I have tried doing some things for God but not always in step with God and I have failed in some areas. My mom pointed out that I also need to let myself be guided by the Holy Spirit. I have spoken of this before and I have been filled with the Holy Spirit but I am very bad at exercising the use of the Spirit. I know that this is not a good thing and I know that I need to let the Spirit guide me everyday. I cannot do things on my own and get by. The Spirit will act as our conscience and will lead us to what is pure and what is nobel and if we are letting ourselves be consumed by the Spirit then life will be much easier.

My mom suggested that I take a look at Acts 1 and possibly even memorize it so that I could use it to guide me everyday when I feel like I cannot overcome something. This is set just as Jesus is about to ascend into heaven and the Bible as well as Jesus says, "On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: 'Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.' So when they met together, they asked him, 'Lord are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?' He said to them: 'It is not for you to know the times or the dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you, and you will be with my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.' After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight. They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. 'Men of Galilee,' they said, 'why do you stand here looking into the sky? This is the same JEsus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven." The Father has promised us this great gift as long as we accept it and put it to use but like me, some of us receive it and then only look for the Spirit in troubled times. We think that we can go through life doing things on our own and everything will be okay, but it will not be and we need that support which we can only receive from God. 

I find that I try to move from one thing to the next in God before he can really use me in a certain area. I try to get as many things done as possible in a short time. Pretty much that is how I live my life. But I need to stop and take time to let God develop me instead of trying to rush in and change overnight.  This became evident to me when he said "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised." He wants the disciples to have patience and to wait before proceeding because they need the Spirit before they can continue to do his work. In the same way, I can do great things for God but I need to have the Spirit start guiding me at some point otherwise I am missing the point to which God has called me. I should not get caught on the wrong things (ex. trying to count the days until Jesus comes) because things will come back in due time and his timing is perfect, if we spend our whole lives trying to figure out when Jesus is coming, we will have missed what he has for us in this life and the job he has put us here to do. That is not to say do not be watchful, because we are commanded to be watchful because we do not know the hour or the day, but do not let the second coming consume all of your thoughts for there are bigger worries, especially if you are a Christian.

I think this has been really helpful and I am going to pray every night from now on for God to refill me with the Spirit and I will put it to good use from now on. Wasting a gift is well... it is pretty much a waste and pointless. God would never give us anything to waste because he wants us to be fruitful and thankful for and with the things we have received. It is not our will, but his will and his ways are much higher than our ways. I know he can help me understand that put it to good use and I am excited for when that happens. 

I talked to the coach from UNLV today and he is very excited to talk with me and to see my video so I am believing that God is opening up a door for me there. I know that Point Loma is still a possibility as well and I think God is opening a door there as well. We will see how the next few weeks go as break turns into Spring semester and I get a sense of where I will be next year. Keep praying for me, as I am praying for you and let me know if there is anything you need.

God Bless, 

Joseph Robinson

Day 50

I struggle everyday to overcome myself and the world. It seems that just when I think I can get stronger, I back myself into a corner and try to justify sin. I cannot tell you how wrong I am for doing this but I am trying to make effective changes. It is almost as if Satan is trying to tell me that I can never do it and I am not strong enough and sometimes it just gets to me. I definitely need to do a better job of putting my armor on everyday so I can be on the defense and the attack. I know that in one of the first 30 days I talked about memorizing verses and I have not done so yet. I know this is something I can do to continue to grow more and will be implementing this into my daily studies as I continue to seek God. I have found that I say many things that I should do yet I do not necessarily do and that is no help to me at all. The only way I can help myself is by implementing the things that I find will help me grow. I bet thousands of people make mistakes everyday and know how to make changes but they simply just do not do it. Sometimes it is just being lazy because it takes work to make changes and other times it is just defiance which is wrong as well. I would say that I am on the lazy side and that needs to change for sure. I need to step up my work for God not only in my life but also in the work of others and if those around me are willing to help, I definitely need it. We are not supposed to go through our Christian walk alone and that is one reason why I wish I could generate more responses out of this; because I know that some of you might just read this and its all you are getting but you need more support. I NEED help, I need support, I am not afraid to ask for help and I surely cannot have much integrity if I am willing to go on living certain ways and never ask for help when I know it is available. 

Today, I am just going to post some verses that kind of reflect how I feel during my walk and respond to them as honest as I possibly know how. Psalm 41:4-12 states, "I said, 'O Lord, have mercy on me; heal me, for I have sinned against you.' My enemies say of me in malice, 'when will he die and his name perish?' Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander, then he goes out and spreads it abroad. All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying, 'A vile disease has beset him; he will never get up from the place where he lies.' Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. But you, O Lord, have mercy on me; raise me up, that I may repay them. I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me. In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever." It is so hard to keep coming to God when you screw up time and time again. I know right from wrong and I still do wrong sometimes because I think that I will gain some benefit from it. This is a false sense of security from Satan and it comes with every type of sin. I struggle when my friends constantly tell me that they cannot wait for me to start drinking or they think I will be a crazy party animal who sleeps with various girls and drinks alcohol on weekends. These people are technically my enemy who speak malice to me and they want to see my spiritual name die and perish. These people are essentially the same people who are the whisperers who wait for me to fall and then they do not want me to get back up from where I am at. I have even had a few close friends who have turned against God even when I did what I could to hold on to them. There were times when I screwed up though in front of them and I think I gave them the wrong perception of myself and in turn it was my fault for letting them slip away instead of them walking away.

But of all the bad things I have done, I know that God will have mercy on me as long as I continue to seek him and am actually TRYING to make changes wholeheartedly. I pray that one day (soon) he will be pleased with everything I do because I do not let the enemy triumph over me and that he would be able to use the example of the integrity I have to change the lives of many college students and teens all over this nation. It starts small but it will spread like a wildfire if I let it. People are searching for something, they do not know what to look for and Jesus is their only hope. Even when I feel like i do not know how I will get through something, God will always pull me through. Whether it is a break-up, a death in the family, struggling in my walk, just being alone, or simply just school, God is always there and he will see us through until the end and then when the end comes he will be there for eternity. I am not going to lie, I have struggled a lot in the past week and I just know that there is something more that I am missing and I need to pray to God to reveal it to me. But I can also use your help, I know that God is here for me but I need my brothers and sisters to rally around me and build me up otherwise I will slowly start to wither and become stagnant. 

I pray that God is doing great things in all of your lives and I pray that he gives everyone safe travels over the holiday season and that he is watching out for all of our personnel overseas in the war zones. I hope you all had a great Thursday and I pray that God blesses you and you family.

Your brother in Christ,

Joseph Robinson

Day 49

So I knew that 30 days would be tough but now that I am nearing 50 days (I know not consecutive) things are definitely getting tougher. I really need to be in prayer more than I have been and I need to dive deeper as I want to continue to grow in God, just doing this has kinda put me in a slowly diminishing spot in which I need to find a new step to take and to more forward. I will definitely keep doing this but on a much more personal level with God, I feel that he wants more from me and I am going to give it to him. Finals week is just a few days away and I know that it going to take a toll on me if I put in the effort that I should. The only way I can make it through is with strength from God and not ignoring him when I get busy and feel that I have "more important things to do." God comes first and should always come first in my life. He will come first before my 7:30 A.M. final because it is what he deserves and I know it will be beneficial to me. He definitely needs to be first in more aspects of my life and I feel that there are ways I can do that, I just need to implement those adjustments into my everyday routine. I will keep you updated on this and let you know how I am doing because I think this is going to be an even bigger step that will lead to some drastic changes in my life. 

I do not feel the need to defend the things I am saying because I do not really have people coming against me in what I have posted in here but I thought it was interesting how Paul defends his ministry and how he approaches the people he speaks to. I think this applies to us everyday because everyone we see should be people that we can speak to and these aspects of Paul's life have some great insight. In 2nd Corinthians 10:1-6 he says, "By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you-- I, Paul, who am 'timid' when face to face with you, but 'bold' when away! I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by standards of this world. For thought we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine powers to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete." I believe that what Paul is trying to convey to those at Corinth is that he feels that he should not have to bold when is near them because they should be familiar with his teachings and his way of life, he does not necessarily need to feel timid, but he should feel comfortable around them knowing that they know what he is all about and the lifestyle he chooses to live. He is talking about how our spiritual weapons are much greater than any weapon on earth. As a Christian, he has the power to win the argument for Christ and nothing can stand against that, no weapon formed against him shall prosper in other words! He talks about rebuking these people after their obedience is complete so that they will know never to return to their old ways.

This applies to me on both sides of the spectrum. I feel that I need to be bold in some cases and should never be timid and I should be comfortable in other situations because nothing can stand against me. I also need to learn to leave my acts of disobedience in the past and not even occasionally fall back on those acts. Staying focused is so hard to do but it is a part of being obedient. I know that my weapons are different from the Christian next to me and I have special talents that God has given me. This is why the church needs to be in step with each other just as each individual is in step with God. The Bible says we work together as the body but a lot of times we try to move without the church and we end up causing the body to weaken. It takes many muscles and signals in order for one to move a finger and in the same way it takes planning and careful instruction so that the whole church can work together. Enough about the body though. Paul says that some people think that we live by the standards of the world and this is a very big misconception and I believe that is brought on by the idea that Christians are hypocritical. The problem is just that we fail, we are not hypocritical unless we are truly living both lifestyles. The world's standards are much lower than God's standards and as long as we follow God's standards, we can never be compared to the standards on earth. In all honesty, I should strive to be compared to how the great disciples lived their life, not the person next to me who has never submitted to Christ and still follows the ways of the world. Not be perfect, but be as close to perfect as HUMANLY possible. 

hmm... I still need to listen to the sermon from Sunday because I did not go as a result of being sick.  More than likely I will do this tomorrow before my devotion and I will post some thoughts or something about the message. I hope you all have an amazing night and stay safe!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 48

So today, I did not get around to reading my bible in the morning but I did pray to God on my way to class. I knew it was something that would warm me up inside even though there was snow on the ground outside. It was amazing to see how much easier it was to get through my day with him by my side after I had invited him to come walk with me. I was pretty lazy today but I did stay out of trouble and will start preparing for my finals over the next few days. I know he will guide me along as I take those and as I am studying for me. He will provide for me in my time of need because he hears my call and knows that I love him. I will be patient and learn to accept things as they come and praise him no matter what the outcome. Each day I grow closer to him and each day I see the wonders that he can do. I know that I will never be alone no matter what happens and I always have someone to talk to. Taking the next few steps will take faith and it will take me showing that I can demonstrate my love for God. It definitely will not be easy, but I know that it will be worth it in the end.  

Walking in the Spirit can be a hard thing to come by but once the Spirit dwells inside of you, there is no going back. It can come like the wind and knock you off your feet and you will be changed forever. Jesus says in John 14:15-21, "If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." This sort of expands on what I said yesterday, but now it says that if we love him, we will have another counselor come live with us, as we will not be left as orphans. The world no longer sees him but we do and it is our job to educate the world so that he can reveal himself to them as well. 

As a Christian, the only way I can receive this is by following God's plan for my life and for doing my best to listen to what he has for me. Instead of talking with my friends about that girl and staring at her, I should be the controlled one and maybe say something but then carry on with my business so as to not let it become a distraction. Keeping my eyes fixed throughout the day on whatever is good, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, is going to be the only way that I can know that I am walking in step with God. It is so hard for me sometimes because I DO get caught up in the moment. I know I am not the only one who struggles with this and I know that it is not just something that guys struggle with. It is funny, I posted a while back about how I do not want to be in a relationship, but I still look at girls and try to picture myself with them, but deep down inside, I know that it is not what I want or what I need and I snap myself out of it. It is just amazing how we can get sidetracked during our day into thoughts in which we do not even want to be thinking. The only way to guard against this is to have control in your mind and not let it consume you. Do not take the second look at that girl who is dressed in a way she should not be, but instead think of something else that is noble and good and you will have a better chance at diverting your attention and taking a huge step in becoming a man who has respect for women, or becoming a woman who respects men. This will come as I walk with the Spirit but it is up to me to come out of my shell and let the Spirit in to consume me.  

I got an encouraging comment today and it pretty much brought me to tears. It was from one of my brothers and it showed that he still does care and he still wants to be a part of who i am becoming. It is cool to see that even when you think you could have lost someone, you still are able to have them around and can share great memories together even as you get older. Keep building memories with those you love and see just how much of an impact it can have on you and them. Continue to seek God and all he has for you. If you are not a Christian, keep seeking whatever it is you are looking for, if you feel empty there is someone that can fill that emptiness and all you have to do is let them. I hope you all have a great night!  

God Bless, 

Joseph Robinson

Day 47

Today I am feeling much better and feel that tomorrow I will be completely better and finally over this cold that I have had all weekend. All indications point to about an inch to 2 inches of snow tonight. I know it is not much but there will be some precipitation. I was not able to get into the word this morning and I found myself run into some trouble earlier and I gave in once again. I am definitely getting stronger but I need to protect myself better because Satan's attacks are getting trickier as I continue to seek God more and more. I think I am over thinking things and I feel that I can just be good and it will stick with me until I screw up. I need to remember that this is a daily struggle we face to stay faithful to God and I need to win everyday and let God prevail in my life. I have had coaches tell my teams that as long as we win every inning, we win the game. The same is true in our walk with God, as long as we walk with God everyday that we live, we will eventually have walked with God for the rest of our lives. I need to let the future take care of itself, sure there is concern about what I will be doing and where God will lead me but as for following God and doing his work, I need to take it one day at a time and not worry about making it to the next day not having screwed up, if I just do my best everyday, I will be able to meet goals and I will accomplish more than I could if I always look to the future. 

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 states, "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, The Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates"

I do not know but I used to be able to become an obedient Christian when I found a girl that I liked and I knew that she loved God, almost as if I was trying to straighten up because I figured that was the only way I would have a chance to possibly date her. But then after something happened between us, things would always change and I would just go back to being who I was. This verse tells me to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul, and will all your strength." If I can straighten up for some girl that I only "like", I think it would be in my best interest and should be easy for me to make the decision to straighten up completely for God whom I love. I would say that in a typical week, I show God that I love him about 80% of the time. Now I do not sit down and calculate everything but I would say that I do a very good job at showing him my appreciation and doing things that are pleasing to him. Of course that number should be 100% but that is what I am working towards. There are definitely some areas I should clean up in and rest assured that I am going to be making the necessary steps in order to do that. One way to start would be to take Moses' advice when he says, "These commandments I give you today are to be written upon your hearts." It is really not that hard and still I am unable to follow the simple commandments that were handed to Moses on Mt Sinai. We know that sin easily entangles and that is understandable but there are many times in which I could have avoided sin but chose not to. I am the only one who can change that and it is between me and God. It comes down to how far I am willing to go for him and how far am I willing to let myself go?

Take this  perspective in all aspects of life. How much UNCONDITIONAL love do you show your family, regardless of what they do for you, how far are you willing to go for them? or are you willing to do anything for them? The same goes for a girlfriend or a sport, or simply just a friend, your job, or school. How many times can you do something for the betterment of others which in turn would help you out? What type of sacrifices are you willing to make in order to make things work?  I know I need to make more sacrifices and maybe reaffirm some that I have already made. Sometimes it is hard to let go of sin especially if you have been attached to it for so long, but in the end you will see the purpose and ultimately see how much better off you are.

Continue doing your own reading and growing on your own time if you can and maybe share something you have learned from your own reading or how maybe something I have talked about has been working in your life. I would love to learn from others as well, this is a give and take blog. try contributing and see if it develops how much more you get out.

Hope you all have a good night, God Bless.

Joseph Robinson

Day 46

Sorry I was not able to post over this weekend. I got sick on Friday and had a pounding headache all day. I have spent most of the weekend resting and trying to get my strength and health back. I was not even in the word which is definitely not okay, it more than likely would be beneficial for me to look into God's word and find strength even when I am weak but I just was not able to. However, it did kill me all weekend that I did not do it even when I knew that I should. I felt so convicted because I made it a goal to stay with this every day and I do not want to come up short of that goal. My effort was not 100% and I am not ashamed to say that but just as I was trying to start when I began this blog, I am trying to work towards putting 100% effort everyday and going to bed every night knowing that I had nothing else to give on that particular day. Whether it was spending the whole day with a friend who just needed an ear or going to class and just helping someone out with a good attitude throughout the day. My heart reflects the things I do and doing things with a good heart is a whole lot better than doing things with a bitter or unwilling heart.  

I was thinking about how I go about this blog and when I get around to it everyday. I know at the beginning I said I was going to do my best to do it when I had free time during the day but I have not been doing a very good job at that either. Then I thought to myself that I did not necessarily have to do my blog the first time that I could, but I should at least be giving time to God at the first possible time during the day.  It is said in Deuteronomy 26: 1-11, "When you have entered the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance and have taken possession of it and settled in it, take some of the firstfruits of all that you produce from the soil of the land the Lord your God is giving you and put them in a basket. Then go to the place the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name and say to the priest in office at the time, ' I declare today to the Lord your God that I have come to the land the Lord swore to our forefathers to give us.' The priest shall take the basket from your hands and set it down in front of the alter of the Lord your God. Then you shall declare before the Lord your God: 'My father was a wandering Aramean, and he went down into Egypt with a few people and lived there and became a great nation, powerful and numerous. But the Egyptians mistreated us and made us suffer, putting us to hard labor. Then we cried out to the Lord, the God of our fathers, and the Lord heard out voice and saw our misery, toil and oppression. So the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, with great terror and with miraculous signs and wonders. He brought us to this place and gave us this land, a land flowing with milk and honey; and now I bring the firstfruits of the soil that you, O Lord, have given me.' Place the basket before the Lord your God and bow down before him. And you and the Levites and the aliens among you shall rejoice in all the Good things the Lord your God has given to you and your household."

It is not so much about me posting this blog right away in the morning but it is about me waking up and giving him praise for allowing me to wake up to another day. Getting into the word to see what he has for me to prepare me for my day whether it is a verse or a chapter. He has developed me so much in the past 7 weeks. I have learned from myself, from him, and from others. He has provided me with opportunities for baseball and I need to thank him for that. I need to continue to seek him and let him take care of the outcome. He has given me a great life in this great nation that has pretty much anything I need, working to bring this country and this land back to him. He has saved us from Satan and all the thoughts that he gives us. The evil that can stem from him being in our lives, the sin that can overtake us. This blog is my way of showing what he has done in me and what he is doing in those around me. This where I learn what direction he has for my life but at the same time I need to focus on what he has for me today. I think that they are one in the same but I can hear something from him that will benefit me right away and can help me through a given day but I can also hear stuff that I need to work on and that will take time for me to apply to my life. It just depends on what the struggle is.  If we turn back in praise everything that he has given us, we will be blessed more than we could ever fathom.  It is not about doing what is demanded, it is about doing what is asked and being obedient. Being faithful cannot do you any harm, it can only lead to good. Not always in the form that we understand or want but it ill turn out for good.  The Israelite's slavery in Egypt was not fun for them, but it allowed a leader to be brought up to lead them out and to show them that God still did have favor on them. In the end they were blessed because of their faith and their obedience.

The forms of the firstfruits can be different and can have different meanings. What firstfruits can you give? Whether it is tithing, time, or devotions, God wants our fristfruits in everything because it shows that we are devoted and willing to give him 100% no matter what is going on. Being sick is no excuse for me not posting because with strength in God and my own determination, I would have been able to get it done. What I am saying is that there are really no excuses for not doing the work of God, of course there are circumstances but in general, an excuse is just a way of saying you do not want to do it.  Surely will not happen again on my end.

Hope you all had a great weekend and enjoy the rest of your Sunday. Continue to read and seek him, because he is waiting to do something great.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 45

So today is going to be a little unconventional. Some of you might know that today is my birthday. I have been blessed by God to be able to wake up everyday for the last 19 years. Every breath I have taken since I was in my mother's womb has been a gift from God and I am truly thankful for everything he has given me. I owe everything I am today to God and the people that he has put into my life. I would have never made it this far without them and without him. I want to start of by thanking my parents for taking me to church every Sunday and doing their job as godly parents. Though I did not always follow what I was taught, the good morals that they taught me have stuck with me and I am doing my best to follow everything. To my brothers (Dwight, Peter, and Jonathan) I love you guys so much and you have made the biggest impact on my life (other than God). I look up to you guys and no matter what you guys do I am able to learn from your success and your failure and I hope that from here on out, I am able to teach you just as you have taught me and I will be able to keep learning from you. I am going to be able to pass on things to your kids and the stuff you have taught me will assist in that. Thank you for sticking with me even when I was annoying and always pestered you because even though I knew you were upset with me, you do not know how good it felt just to be able to spend time with you guys. Thanks again. To my sisters (Michelle, Kim, and Melissa) I love you girls as well and do not know what I would do without you. All of you have impacted my life in some way and I have been able to learn how to treat girls because of the things you have taught me and the examples you have set before me. I cannot thank you girls and guys enough for all the times you have taken me places or bought things for me because I know that I never deserved everything that I received but you still loved me and family can make or break someone's life.  My parents also have been able to provide me with stuff and I am so grateful for that, I do not know how blessed I have been through them as a result of God blessing me through blessing them.  Thank you to all of you. Too my sister's-in-law, Holly and Erin, I have known Holly for almost 11 years now and you have also been a blessing to me even though it may not seem like it, you were the first one I had to figure out how to act around because you have not always been around me and I was able to learn how to treat a member of the family that had not always been there and you and Dwight have given me so much, so I want to say thank you. Erin, I know we have had some differences but I know that you can be a part of this family and though it did not seem like it at first, we can accept people for who they are and we hope that you will continue to contribute to our family and be a blessing unto us and we shall be able to bless you. To my nieces and nephew, we have tons of time to learn and teach each other and I cannot wait to spend time with you guys in the future, I pray for you every night and I know that you are all going to grow up and be special kids. I pray for all my family every night and I am thankful and blessed to have all of you as a part of my life. 

I have been thinking today because I bought the new "Narnia" movie yesterday"Prince Caspian" and I thought of how cool it would be to live in a place like Narnia. Then I thought about it and we live in our own Narnia everyday. We have support from our family (The Pevensies) and Christians around us (Fellow Narnian's). There is a good vs. evil struggle everyday on earth and we fight the battle literally to the death. We have God (Aslan) who if we look for long enough, we will see him and he will guide us and help us win our struggle. All we have to do is step into this new world and we will see everything that is going on and what God has planned. When something good happens and the joy of it fades, we wonder if we will ever get back to that point and as the professor says at the end of the first movie, "I suppose so, but it will probably happen when you least expect it." If we live life everyday and just do our work for God, our blessings will come naturally and things will work themselves out and we will not have to stress. God has blessed us by putting us here and giving us the positions we are in right now to change the world and he is waiting for us to answer the call. We can be deceived by Satan (The White Witch) but as long as we use our support groups and do not wander off on our own, we are able to do more than we could ever imagine and we can literally step into "Narnia." It is time to make the dream world a reality and get back to the way things were when God was the focus of life. 

I hope you all have a great night and I am excited to see what this next year holds. I also want to thank my friends and all my other relatives for getting me to where I am today, but to thank them all would take hours. I want you to know that you ARE greatly appreciated and if you really want me to thank you, ask me what you have done for me and I will tell you exactly what it is you have done.

God bless,

Joseph Robinson

Day 44

Some days I forget how great it feels to live for God and to know that I am working for the betterment of his kingdom. It is refreshing when you are at that point and can see the work he is doing in your life. Let me start off by saying that I am blessed to have the family and the friends that I have and the positions God has put me in are much better than most people.  I know I have said this before, but hold on tight to the ones you truly love because you never know when that opportunity to talk to them will be gone. I have been thinking about when we disappoint God and sin and how we can resist because we are called by him. I have talked about not beating yourself up over sinning but rather moving on and gaining strength from it and I have discussed the never ending love of God and how he will always forgive us. In addition to putting on the armor, we are instructed by him not to rebel and therefore stand firm in the word. We see this when he calls Ezekiel to preach to the Israelites.

Ezekiel 2: 1-10, "He said to me, 'son of man. stand up on your feet and I will speak to you.' As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I hear him speaking to me. He said, ' Son of man, I am sending you to the Israelites, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me; they and their fathers have been in revolt against me to this very day. The people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, "this is what the Sovereign Lord says." And whether they listen or fail to listen--for they are a rebellious house--they will know that a prophet has ben among them. And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or terrified by them, they are a rebellious house. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious. But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.' Then I looked, and saw a hand stretched out to me. In it was a scroll, which he unrolled before me. On both sides of it were written words of lament and mourning and woe."  Once again we are told not to be afraid of what those around us say when we stand up for God because he is watching over us and his will shall be done. 

I think what I can take from this is that I need to remember that I am a son of God and rebelling is not in my best interest. I must take all that he has given me and put it to good use. Ezekiel goes on to literally eat the scroll because it is what God gives him. I can apply this in a figurative sense in that God will give me the words to speak everyday to people and as long as I rely on him I will not have to be worried about what to do or say. Just because I am around people who are rebellious and follow the ways of the world, I do not have to harden my heart towards God and be a rebel as well. I need to become like Ezekiel and heed all the information and warnings that God sends my way. Confronting myself yet again and saying that I will stand up for what I believe is true and not let myself cower in the face of sinners. Do you ever have those moments where you want to do something for someone or just smile at the stranger walking by but you are unsure of how they will react or what they will say? I struggle with that everyday and I find comfort in this verse when it says "Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house." I should be confident in the Lord and in his awesome power because he will enable me to do the work he has called me to do as long as I step out in faith and follow.  I know some of this seems repetitive but I am trying to drill it into my head so that I do not forget it.

Until I learn to be completely selfless, I will have a hard time reaching out to people, but I am still able to help people who come to me for advice as I can pray with and for them in the Lord and continue to do his work. I know this is my calling and I am answering the call for good.

I am always looking for ways to help people and to connect with people, if you know anyone who would enjoy reading this or might need to get something out of it, please spread the word, I think that something small can lead to change all over, it is just a matter of how we go about things. I continue to pray for all of you and hope you all have a blessed night.

Joseph Robinson

Day 43

I was thinking today and I think I have hit a point where I feel like I am stuck in the mud. I do not believe it is that my faith has hit a wall, but my human nature does not want to let me go any further. Satan is trying to regain control in my life and walking with God seems to want to get harder and harder everyday (or that is what Satan wants me to think). I know that some people come to a point in life where they feel like they have nowhere to go or they are just stuck where they are at. The problem here is that they have everywhere to go and are not really stuck, they are hitting the point in life where they have to make decisions. Some of these might be life-altering, others may be simple and take hardly any energy. When the time comes to make a decision, it has to be an all out effort when the decision is made. As I have said before, there are no half-hearted decisions. One has to believe in themselves and the decisions they make and follow them. If it leads down a bad road, there might be severe consequences but there will probably come another point in which they can make a decision to keep living the way they are or to get help and find a way to make some changes. I think I have come to the point where just getting in the word and growing with God is not enough, it is time to make it a complete lifestyle or just give up completely. I think I want to make it a complete lifestyle, it is going to be hard but I think I am willing to work at it, just as I was willing to make this blog successful for me.  This will ultimately decide my eternity but some choices do not have such a big impact on life. Such as lifting that bottle to your mouth again on the weekend, or taking a hit of that blunt, or what party you are going to end up at and who is watching over you? These are small decisions and I'm not condemning anyone but where are your decisions taking you? and are they beneficial to you? I am not talking about popularity wise, I am talking about in your own heart are you becoming someone you did not ever want to be? or are you tired of who you have been and want to change?

In Luke chapter 5 verses 17-26, it states, "One day as he was teaching the Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, he said, 'Friend, your sins are forgiven.' The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, 'Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?' Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, 'Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, "Your sins are forgive," or to say, "Get up and walk"? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...' he said to the paralyzed man, 'I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.' Immediately he stoop up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today." See, this man had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide and God took him in and forgave him of his sins. He even went on to heal the man and pretty much gave him his life back, even praising God on his way home. Talk about a thankful man. See his faith enabled him to do something great and get out of his "mud." He was sick and tired of being where he was at and he wanted something more out of life, so he went and got it. 

In the same way, I feel like the paralytic. I have already had my sins forgiven, this I know but I still cannot walk anywhere because my belief in myself is lacking. I am willing to go but I am unable to let myself go, I guess for fear of where it will take me. I am not so much afraid on a spiritual level, but my human nature wants to hold me back. With the power of God though I can overcome my human nature and leave it in the past. I need to put on the new self and not just try it on but zip it up and glue the zipper so that I cannot take it off. I have to confront myself (in a figurative sense) and tell myself that I am not going to follow my nature anymore. The only way to overcome myself is to not be afraid of it but to control it and let God do the rest. I think I took it all wrong when I posted out of John 1 and verse 5 states, "The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it." This is applicable to what I am talking about because it means that even though I have the light in me, I still have not understood how to let it shine through me and fill me completely. The darkness still has some pull but it is quickly turning to light and can be eliminated but the choice is mine and I have to make a decision to make a change. I know that confronting yourself can be a scary thing, but I have already started to do it through this blog and I hope that some of you begin to do it as well. 

There is roughly 2 weeks left in the semester and then it is work and Disneyland for me over Christmas break. If you need strength to finish the semester, call on God and see what he can do for you. I think you might be a little surprised. Feel free to contact me via posts or my phone (480-292-1754) and continue to take this journey with me.

Hope you all have a great night and God Bless.

Joseph Robinson