Day 56

So being home alone is tough, there is a lot of temptation and you feel like you want to unwind from finals, there are many things that can lead you into trouble. Giving in is easy and I definitely crossed some boundaries today. I feel like my postings seem to be repetitive and I am not actually going anywhere with it because some of what I am posting, is just what I know. It is easy to scan the bible and find stuff you know and then talk about it, it is finding something that is new and picking it apart that will help one grow just as well. I also feel like I have been posting for length rather than depth. I feel that if I am not posting a certain amount, then I have failed. In all honesty, that is far from the truth and it is Satan trying to make me feel like I am not good enough, like I cannot do it and I feel that has contributed to some of my repetitiveness. So in an effort to try and make some changes and allow myself to grow a little more, I am going to start a devotional book that my mom gave me and I think I will do it every morning and then post my thoughts. I am also going to start memorizing as I have said that I need to and I will let you know how my memorization is going, I think that it is important and its time to start taking action in my own life as well as out in the world.

The first devotion is titled "Seeking the Truth" and the verse is from 1st Timothy 6:20, I like the translation in the book and I will give the NIV translation as well. The book's translation says, "Avoid godless, foolish discussions with those who oppose you with their so-called knowledge." The NIV version states, "Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge." The next page talks about discernment and growing up and questioning what you have always been taught. Throwing away some things and taking hold of others while just clinging to some of the things you have always knew. I think deciding where to go and what to believe for teenagers is tough. With the world throwing sin and temptation in the eyes of all students and the church barely making a mark, students are lost somewhere in between but more towards the side of sin and the only way to make changes is through faith. There is a quote by Blaise Pascal and he says, "We know the truth not only by the the reason but also by the heart." Our heart guides us everyday though sometimes we do not follow our heart's desire and we fall. We understand truth because we know in our heart what is and is not truth. It is a feeling deep down that inspires us and forces us to question and search for answers.

Over the course of the semester and as I was in high school, I made the decision that I was going to follow Christ but I still had some things in the way of allowing me to do that. Questioning the decisions I was making, the lifestyle I was living, and where I wanted to be when I graduated all helped me become who I am today and they have made me a better person. I am at the stage in which a turning point is happening and its up to me to decide which direction I am going. Discernment is going to play a huge role in helping me make things work. Though I struggle, I will persevere and I will overcome sin with the help of God.

I stayed up late talking to a friend last night and this person has become a positive influence in my life and I am thankful for that. I think I might be having some sort of an effect on them as well and I am thankful for that as well. God is moving in great ways and this is just the beginning. I need to start living everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Knowing that if I die, I gave all that I could while I was here. I have not done a good job of that and I recognize that. Making a change is going to be pivotal for me and will have a great effect on where I am 6 months from now.

I hope you all are excited for Christmas and I hope you continue to seek God. I know he is all that I need but I have a hard time showing that to him. Do your best to show him the praise he deserves and give yourself to him.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson