Molded

You know that the things going through your head are the right ones when you feel good about what you are doing and you are not afraid of the repercussions of your actions. When everything seems to fall into place just as you had envisioned. Things take time to develop but you know when there is a shift in the paradigm of your life. Things you once saw as essential become distant and you no longer want to even attempt to make them a part of your life. There is so much in life that we think we can do alone and that is so far from the truth, it is strength from our creator that carries us everyday. We must set a standard to live in accordance with his word and with his truth in all aspects of our life. We have had some incidents at sporting events this year that I would say do not reflect the values of Christ very well and people say it is just the way of sport and that it is no big deal. In some ways I agree but at the same time you have to be smart about it. Would Jesus talk trash to his opponents and play hard? You bet he would. The difference is that he knows what is appropriate and what is not. Look through the Bible and Jesus trashes Satan time and time again because he knows that in the end he is the victor. When it comes to sport today you can give someone a hard time for not playing well and you can root against them to lose but when it comes to personal attacks, you have to watch the line. Nobody likes the enemy or the jerk who plays on the other team (even if you are just watching) but as Christian athletes and Christian fans it is our responsibility to reflect the values of Christ while not being soft, we have to be tough opponents and create a tough playing environment for opposing players and still maintain our integrity.

Now that I am off my soapbox, let us dive into what God wants to convey to us today. I believe that at any moment in time we can have our whole situation changed and we must adapt to what is going on around us. We cannot settle into a moment of our life because life is dynamic and it will catch us off guard if we are not prepared. We have been placed here to accomplish something great and sometimes we are not always in the best spot to do what we need to and therefore we see some change. This usually occurs at the most inopportune time for us and we see it as a nuisance but in reality it is exactly what we need but we are too busy with the rest of life that we feel we are being overloaded. Other times we feel that we are comfortable with where we are at and change just means more work and getting out of our box that we have become accustomed to. When Jeremiah went down to the potter's house in Chapter 18 of Jeremiah, the Lord was speaking to him exactly this message, God can do anything and adaptation is key to his work. Verses 3-10 state, "So I went down to the potter's house and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me: 'O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?' declares the Lord. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, and if that nation I wanted repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.' " I have worked with clay and other things that you mold and let me tell you that sometimes it does not always work out the way that you want it to, other times you decide to do something else, and there are even times when it just seems that it is just too stubborn to get it to do what you want. This is exactly how God feels when it comes to our lives. Sometimes things just do not turn out well because we mess them up, other times he decides he has something better for us, and yes, sometimes we are just too stubborn to allow him to work and so he changes things to make it so that we see it through his eyes and he can complete what he started. Typically the end result does not change when it comes to God and his plans, usually it involves changing how we get there and as his clay, we need to learn to accept it and let him work through us, sure the kneading can be painful but when he starts to be gentle and he uses his soft touch and fingers to mold us, it can be the most awful thing ever and it leads to some of the greatest moments of your life. I wish all of this were easier done than said but unfortunately we are human, we just need to work at being loyal and allowing God's work to move us.

I want to apologize to my baseball boys for not being as strong as I should have this past semester. Things are changing and I promise the spring will be a good time. It is going to be hard work and some days we will want to quit but we are going to push through and we will grow together but more importantly we will grow in Christ. As for the rest of you, I hope you are all doing well and I hope that this post was meaningful and challenges you. As always, comments are appreciated and welcomed. Hope to hear from some of you!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Tangled

Tonight I do not even know where to start, I know that my heart has not been in much the last few months. This semester was not bad but I definitely wish I had cared a little more. The only thing I cared about was baseball and that was really only morning workouts for the most part but since then I have not done much. I am a team leader but I have done nothing to impact my team recently and that needs to change. I took a class this semester on leadership and teamwork and I know that there are areas in which my team can improve. We are not terrible and we are not falling apart but we can patch up some areas. In my own life, I have been crumbling. I have not read my bible outside of church or sat down and sincerely prayed in... I do not know how long. I have so many emotions and feelings going through me all the time but usually I have no idea how to convey them and I end up hurting myself or even worse, God. I wish I could come on here and say that I am doing well or say that I have been busy and that is why I do not post but in all honesty I think it is just that I am trying to hide and I am scared of being so broken. My sister tells me all the time that I am the best and every time I hear that, I cannot help but feel terrible because I do not do anything to deserve that comment from her. I feel like I am tangled in so many different situations and there is no way out, everyday, I meet someone or I make decisions with my friends and it seems like nothing is ever right or I just run into complications. I understand, it is life, things are not easy and decisions are a part of it but you would think that eventually I would just stop being an idiot and listen to what my heart is telling me instead of acting based on thinking. I guess that just goes along with maturity and someday I will achieve the level that I desire to be at and then I will continue to grow but I do not know how much longer I can last in the current situation. I can only will myself to be better and actually pray for strength to make it through.

I know I can rely on God and that he will never leave me but I have completely neglected God. I can convey the way he wants me and others to act and I can discuss his word with other people just like anyone else who knows the word, I just cannot push myself to act on ALL of it I guess for the simple lack of trust. I know how it feels to be in his presence and I know that the things of this world are temporary but I guess in someways I still feel like he is holding out on me. I know this is a lie from the pit of hell and I need to get over it and move on but it just seems so much easier to do it my way. I try to surrender myself to him but I have gotten so good at faking it now, I cannot even tell if I am being sincere. I know that there is one time in my life when I left something at the altar and it actually stayed there because I did not come back to pick it up. I need that again and I need to find a place within my heart that allows me to do that again. I am not willing to go down without a fight but I do not want to just fight, I am going to win, Satan cannot bind me forever, he can deceive me and scar me but Jesus said that by his stripes I am healed and one day these wounds will heal. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 states, "Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. NOw I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life. And if you love and obey the Lord, you will live long in the land the Lord swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." The most important part of this verse is in the middle when it states, "You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life." Getting to this point is such a tough task but when a Christian does it, they have finally gotten what it means to have turned it all over to Christ. You cannot hold anything back from Christ and profess your love for him. This is not an earthly marriage with earthly possessions and feelings involved, it is a spiritual marriage with your heart, soul, and love on the line, you cannot keep anything from him. I really hope this sets in for me because I need something right now, I have hope and I know I am not a lost cause but I know what it is like to feel like you are and I know many people who have that feeling and if you feel that way, I want you to know that you are not a lost cause and God has something for you, everything you are experiencing and have gone through is just to build you into who you need to be fore Christ.

I am home for a few weeks and I have TONS of time on my hands, I am GOING to post everyday, I am tired of saying I am going to TRY, trying means I do not want to, I am pushing myself to be stronger and to be open over the next few weeks and see where this thing goes. It is time to takeoff again so hold on to your seats because I know God is going to wreck some people over the next few weeks. I hope you are all doing well, as always, comments are appreciated!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Effects

I have had a few days to think about something that has been really picking at me because it was something that was revealed to me in just the past week and it has been affecting someone for the past few years. I have written about how our decisions effect people and sometimes you never know the impact of those decisions and had I not talked to a person ever again I would not have known the pain they went through and just how much I hurt them. I obviously cannot take full responsibility for the things that happened but I do know that what happened was a result of my actions and decisions. I know that in the end the decision I made was for the best but the ramifications definitely were felt for months following by others around me. Nobody ever knows how it will all work out, we just use our best judgement and hope that the road does not leave a trail of tears behind. I wish I could say things are perfect in life and it works out based on the decisions we make but unfortunately we all get caught up in stuff that is harmful and how we bounce back shows our character and leads us to new levels. I have come to learn that I cannot fix everything for those who are hurting but I can direct them towards a place where there is hope and where they will be loved forever. Sure it is a little cliche but until you experience it you cannot know what it is like and you cannot explain just how great it is to be in the embrace of one person that loves you no matter what the circumstances are. Being able to turn around after running away and having someone right there is such a great feeling and the when you find out that running just leads to more pain, you discover that you no longer want to run. For anyone who I have hurt, I know I apologized last week but I hope that you forgive me and if you have not told me what has happened as a result, I would like to know.

When you look at the Bible, there is one very strong example of how the decisions of a few led to a nation being blessed. When Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, they had no idea that he would one day be put into power over Egypt and in return bless them. This obviously was a very positive effect but Joseph did spend a few years in prison and he was accused of adultery with Potipher's wife. He was forgotten about by people but then God restored him in a way that he would have never expected. Joseph was given his position so that he could lead a nation in a rough time and so that when his family needed provision, they would be able to receive it abundantly and be blessed. His brothers had no clue that what they did would actually be beneficial to Joseph and them but they made the decision based on feeling and the jealousy that consumed them ultimately became what saved a nation during a time of famine and a loss of hope. When it seems like a situation is completely dead and everything around you is crumbling, I know it is hard but keep holding to the hope that God can do something amazing and let it happen. Doubt will just drive us away from anything of value to us at all and it makes us weaker than we really are. Trust in God and trust in yourself when it comes to doing what you think is right because the wrong road will lead to destruction.

I cannot say that I am perfect when it comes to making decisions and I cannot say that things will be better from here on out but I want to do what I can to have a positive impact on those around me. The fresh snow outside means that the season is changing and its time for something new from me, something fresh that is going to reveal a different side of me. The same story is getting old and I want to be viewed different but that cannot occur until there is a change in the way I think and the way I conduct myself. If I want things to change, I have to take the initiative and stop feeling sorry for myself, it is time to act.

I hope you are all doing well, I know it has been a week but we will see how this week goes. I am gaining momentum as the semester comes to a close and I am excited to go home for Thanksgiving in a week. I have not been this excited to go home since about this time two years ago at K-State. Please continue to pray for me and I will continue to pray for those of you who read.

Ephesians 4:29,

Joseph Robinson

Hurt

I do not know if I can go through a day without my heart being heavy for someone. Whenever I hear about a situation or think about a person who I know is dealing with stuff, I just think about the circumstances surrounding it all and wish I could do something. Most of the time I just feel helpless because I am not in prayer enough or my walk is not close enough to God for me to hear his voice and be able to impart wisdom on a person. I wish there were more I could do but I know that when the time is right, I will be able to do exactly what I am supposed to do. When I stumble I know I am not just affecting myself but those around me. As I stated last night, it appears that some people look to me as an example and what I do tends to give people a reason to validate their actions whether they act or do not act in a certain way. Sometimes I feel like it is a joke or that people are not serious and I feel like some of the time it is but other times I know that what I do or do not do really affects other people. I think for most of us we think that we have no influence on people but in the grand scheme of things we have more of an impact than we could ever think or imagine. Even the little things we do affect how people view us and how they might act just because of that. I cannot help but think that in most cases I hurt people more than I help them and it is painful to think that because the only way I can change things is by being more responsible in my own life. I am not saying that I am solely responsible for other people's actions but I do know that I can push them one way or another and most of the time it is not always in the best way. I have hurt people and in some cases not done anything which has resulted in letting people get away and do whatever they would like. An apology is not really sufficient to mend the situation but I am sorry and I hope that these people will give me another chance to be a better example and have a positive impact. The truth is that when we sin whether publicly or in private, it will affect others because sin is cancerous when it has the right environment to spread.

I used a verse a couple of weeks ago but I think it illustrates the point very well, Mark 9:42 states, " 'And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.' " A direct quote from Jesus regarding this matter definitely is a big deal. I do not want to responsible for other people's shortcomings or for not sharing the Gospel in an appropriate way with them. I know there have been situations where I have caused people to sin but I think those are far outweighed by the times where I have allowed people to sin and not even tried to do anything about it. I am not talking about just telling someone they are clearly in the wrong but I am talking about setting an example of not doing something and then explaining why it is so. A lot of times people ask me why I do not do something and its not because I am a good moral person or because I just do not want to (which is usually my answer). It is because I believe in something greater, I believe that my savior came to earth and died for me and the way I can give back to him is by obeying his commands and those actions or that lifestyle does not line up with those commands. I sit by and be the silent killer of so many people that I cannot help but have a heavy heart everyday. If I made more of a positive impact on people, I know that those thoughts and feelings would far outweigh the sorrow and the burdens of others but until then I will keep looking to the Lord to get me through the day and hopefully turn some of this around.

I hope that all of you are doing well and I will continue to pray for those who read and those whom I wish would read this. Hopefully these will become a little more regular but for now we will just see where it goes.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Conflict

A few weeks ago I sat down with someone and I asked them what was one of the toughest challenges they have faced in regards to being a leader and what is something that you have to learn to do in order to be effective. I was told that learning to handle conflict is very tough and if it is done correctly it can be rather beneficial. Most people are afraid of conflict and in some ways people think that it always leads to more problems. Sometimes this is the case but I think this is because we go about things all wrong when it comes to confronting people or trying to resolve a situation. It is hard to go face to face with someone and tell them that you think they are wrong or that something needs to change. Nobody wants to be hated by another person and nobody wants to push people away just because of something they said to them. Conflict is a very scary thing and it can be very frustrating at times because in some cases your intention is to avoid a big situation but you accidently say or do something that sets somebody off. I tend to do this sometimes just because of the way I address things or because of my tone or just how I say things. Other times I feel like I do not want to erase the work that others have done to make a situation better just because I pushed to hard but just as I referenced the speaker from Chapel last week, "You cannot push too soon or you will hurt the baby and you will hurt yourself." I deal with lots of different situations on a daily basis and I tend to get stressed out a lot. I deal with lots of different confrontations and the conflict never seems to stop. I am not sure if this is preparing me for the future or if it is the people I am around at this point in my life, but I have learned that I need to try and make things positive when I am faced with a situation because blowing up will only make things worse and it will not even begin to bring about a solution. I try so hard to make things right sometimes though and I end up making things worse or I ruin a good opportunity because I do not know how to just sit back and let things develop, I am very proactive in making things happen now and I will run through all the possible scenarios to make it work. This is a major problem and I am working on growing in this area and hopefully making changes to this process very soon. I am tired of the same results every time something new comes into my life. It is literally the same stuff and a different day, broken record just like my Christian walk. There is a strong correlation in our lives with the way our spiritual lives are going and I can definitely attest to that based on what I have experienced and my everyday life. Things go good for awhile and then it all falls apart in a matter of minutes or hours, it is not a time to lose hope though, it is a time to look forward to how to make things better and hold on tonight.

I work hard to be a good example but it seems like people are watching me with a spotlight. If I do or do not do something, it gets picked apart, good and bad, it is nice to have a following but I just try to set an example. I am not the example or the leader that must be followed based on what I do. It seems like I am being prideful but I am just saying from my interactions with people, I hear these things and it worries me because I am not one to necessarily the one to be followed but I will help guide people, I am just not perfect and that needs to be recognized. I do not have the final say in most situations and I cannot always be looked to for answers. Ecclesiastes 7:8-10 states, "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your sprit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, 'why were the old days better than these?' For it is not wise to ask such questions." The resolution to conflict or to any situation is better than the end because then we know the outcome and we can move on, patience leads me to understanding and pride tears me down as much as I try to avoid it. Being reserved in spirit is a very tough thing to do but I am working at what God has for me and I hope that you will to. Being able to go back to the old days should not even be a thought because the future holds so much more joy for me and the past just makes me think of what could have been, not what is going to be.

I need to carefully consider my interactions with others especially when I meet people because I tend to push people off early if they do not meet what I feel is required of them at this point in my life and I either try to force them into that role and it turns out bad or I just do not give them a chance to develop into that role. I am sorry to those that I have done this to and I hope that if I get the chance I can make things better and have you fit right where you belong in my life.

If anyone needs prayer or just wants to talk, you know how to find me. I would like to continue to thank those of you who read these and do not be bashful when it comes to commenting or just talking about posts with me, I wish I had someone to critically think with when it comes to all of this. I hope you are all doing well.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Reconciliation

I have wrestled with myself for the past year and a half about whether to try and keep this thing going and every time I attempt to, I fail. I continue to think its all about me and what I am doing and what people see and perceive but it has nothing to do with that. My lack of being in the word is what leads me to fall away from this and in certain situations to fall down from my faith. I pushed away six months of working fervently to post because I got caught up in the wrong situation. My priorities when it came to spending time with God had completely diminished. I tried for a time to stay straight but when I realized that I wanted something more, I found ways to avoid what I knew was right. I think we tend to do that a lot of times. We find ourselves doing what is convenient over what is right and/or righteous. Its much easier to justify why you did something to your church friends than it is to justify why you did not do something to your friends who have no problem with certain behavior. In reality, doing the latter is much easier, we just do not want to deal with the repercussions. At church we might feel condemned for a bit or that people think of us differently but sooner or later we can get past that but our image to the world is such a vital part of who we are. I'm thinking of removing certain things from my life and I am not ashamed to say what they are but I feel that it is more of a personal choice and I do not want to be commended for striving towards a certain goal so I will refrain from going into specifics. Let me just say that I know there are things that influence me even though I think I can handle the situations I put myself in and the things I experience. I am trying to reach out and effect people but I cannot fully do so unless I take care of the things in my personal life first, it all affects the way that I minister to those around me because I cannot believe the things I am saying if I am not living it or at least making a conscious effort to live that lifestyle.

I have always had a heart for helping people through things and trying in some ways to lead my friends who have gone astray back to where they once where. I also try to reach the lost though not always to the extent in which I should be trying. I do tend to be a little pushy from time to time. I wonder why it is so hard for someone to see what they need, I want to help them see it but I also need to realize that it needs to be on their own terms that they can come back Persistence is one thing, being forceful or trying to pull their hand can be a huge deterrent. A former NCU student spoke in Chapel last Friday and he said that when his wife had her first kid, she kept saying she just wanted it out of her but the doctor said, "you have to wait, if you push too hard now then you could damage the baby and damage yourself." He conveyed this on a Christian level ever so eloquently by saying that if we push to hard, we may hurt someone's perception of the church and in doing so hurt our ministry opportunities. I felt like he was speaking directly to me in some ways and I really need to apply the concepts of his message.

I feel like Corinthians 5:11-15 best conveys how I am feeling and hopefully it reaches out to some of you who read this. It states, "Since then. we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade men. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in what is seen rather than what is in the heart. If we are out of our mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. " When we mess up, we are not only hurting ourselves, we are hurting those around us. Sin negatively affects our attitude, our lifestyle, and most importantly our ministry. Your feelings when you try to reach out to someone are going to affect your effectiveness and you will find yourself feeling as though you are not good enough. This is a lie from the snake pit in hell and will just amplify those feelings of inadequacy and it may even push you away from the greatest thing you have ever/could ever have known.

I hope you all take these words into consideration and reflect on how you do things in your own life. I know that I need some work but I know that God is working in me and I am continuing to get stronger, it is only a matter of time before I am knocking down every wall that Satan tries to put up because God is right there supplying my strength and pointing out the weak spots in the foundation. If you need prayer please let me know, I am growing in my passion for prayer and I would love to be interceding for you. I hope you are all doing well and as always, comments/suggestions are always appreciated.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Bad Company?

My last post addressed watching out for others by not dragging them down into your sin and I admitted that occasionally I could be guilty of that. I also have taken time in the past week to think about things in my life and where I am going. What do I truly want? Where am I willing to make sacrifices to achieve my goals? Well right now I really want to get to know people and start investing in the lives of those around me. I thought I was making a really good friend and then things fell apart for reasons beyond my control. I wish I could change things and I wish I could convey how I really feel but I know I messed up and I know I need to grow from it. I understand that patience is another thing I still need to work on and though it seems far away, I know that I can achieve it. I know that I need to sacrifice my personal comfort and wants in order to achieve my goals because everything within me tells me I should be somewhere else, chasing other things. I still believe God has me here for something more than baseball and school. I always think that I am beginning to find what that is and then it falls apart. Either I set myself back or someone else pushes me away from where I was going. Letting everything fall into place is very tough and I wish that I would allow it to happen more often. I do not let people influence my thinking but when people present things, I do question what I hear. Sometimes I do not know how to process the information and asking questions just makes it worse. I wish I had taken more time to assess the situation because I feel like I lost something great all because of selfishness and pride. I hope that I have not blown my only chance to enter this door because it seemed like God wanted me to at least take a look inside and see where it would take me. Perhaps I needed to learn a lesson first in regards to sin and temptation and that is where I was at last week. I tend to put myself in poor situations and I think I know why.

When I find myself in poor situations its because I usually disregarded what my senses were telling me and I try to manage it on my own. I need to question who I am with when I mess up or what I am letting influence me. If you think you are stronger than you are, you have too much pride and you will find yourself falling. There comes a time when you know where your strength comes from and that is when you find yourself successful in sticky situations. 1st Corinthians 15:33-34 states, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.' Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God -- I say this to your shame." I need to figure out what I am doing with my time and how I am being influenced by those around me. My intentions may be good but if I am not in a situation that is for building me up then I am putting myself in harm's way. I wish it were all easier and I wish I was not stuck in between. I am finding out how to deal with things and try to eliminate drama as needed. I know that I have good morals and that I generally make good decisions but when I let myself fall into a trap then I feel like I have no way out and ultimately give in. I need to find a way to allow God to move through a situation rather than pushing him to the side. I know there is more that I can do but for now, what I am dealing with is out of my hands. I will just sit back and try to let God work. There might be some things that I can do but for the most part I have to just let it go. If the situation does not work out how I hope it does, then I guess I take it with a grain of salt and move on. Only God knows what will be and I must trust him to make the situation what I believe is right.

Please continue to pray for me. I have been lacking in prayer and try to remember everyone but my prayer time is not in the most efficient time slot and I find myself unable to finish what I started. Its time for me to grow and make some effective changes and please pray that I am able to take that step. If you have any requests please feel free to contact me and I will pray for you. Keep seeking him and never give up.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson