Remember

I spent the first half of my summer moving on from a past relationship and as much as it hurt, I found out that it was possible and that I was better off in the end. I hurt myself so much over the last few years and tore down some of the structures that had been put into place for my protection and enjoyment. I wish that I had been more obedient and not made such a fool of myself but we make mistakes and we move on. As much as I try to beat myself into the ground because of it, God has placed people in my life to tell me that it will be okay and that I have left scars but those who love you will see the scars and feel remorse rather than condemn. Life is a lot easier when you follow the rules even though it seems easier to break them. I find so much joy in worshipping God outside of church and I wish I could let him use me every second of everyday but I still have not found it in myself to give him that type of authority in my life. The sooner I do it, the more likely I will be to succeed in all areas and I will make life easier for myself as well as those that I come into contact with. I am tired of feeling like everything I do leads to problems for myself and those around me. I know I am not a failure and I know that I do not cause problems but when you are constantly screwing up, it seems like you have no other option but to believe that. It is amazing how long it can take to change when you know something to be true. Why would you know the truth and believe it but not let it make a difference in who you are and what you do? You can sit on the most precious gift of all and look for joy in other places because you are too afraid to open what you have an see what it can do for you. Listening to your heart is the best thing you can do but the toughest part is finding a way to hear it because your brain likes to mix the signals and tell you other stuff. This leads to going down the wrong road because you cannot find what you truly desire. I believe that most people who do not know Christ only go down the wrong road because they do not know what they truly desire, they have an idea but what their brain tells them is not the truth they are looking for.

Romans 13 talks about loving for the end is near and how we need to be prepared for the times ahead because it is uncertain how much time is really left for us all around here. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings and too many times we dwell on what we expect to come rather than where we are now. Chapter 13 verse 11 picks up saying, "And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed The night is nearly over, the day is almost here. So let us push aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Now is not the time to sleepwalk for Christ and think about yourself as I said last night, we must be actively seeking His kingdom and seek to increase the numbers in His kingdom. The last verse really resonates with me in that it says do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Too many times i try to figure out how to get away with sin or I just think that I am good because I have not sinned in awhile and grace can increase for me. The opposite is true, the bible asks if we should continue to sin so that grace may increase and the answer is, "absolutely not!" I wish I were perfect but all I can do is continue to work at being the best I can so that I can continue to help those that I come into contact with. I cannot live a completely blameless life but I can do my best to follow everything that God has commanded me. If I am able to do all those things, then I will know that I have lived life to the fullest and that I have no regrets to fall back on. I sit here and think about where I have been and where I am going and all I can do is remember what Christ did for me and try to think of what I have done for him lately.

I hope you all have a good rest of the weekend. I am continuing to pray for all of you and I will do my best to keep posting daily because I really am encouraged by this blog and I hope that you are too. Please leave a comment or question if you have one because I really would like some feedback and be able to talk to people about this.

God bless,

Joseph Robinson

Ending

Well, it has been a long summer but it seems like it flew by. God has revealed things to me this summer and I am trying to work at them each and every day. He has taught me to be patient and that even when things seem like the end of the world, you will get through them on the right side of the equation. I have seen the path I have chosen based on my decisions and I know that it is going to be a real tough one. Then again, I have always chosen the tough road. I transfered after my Sophomore year in high school to make a better opportunity for myself, I moved out of state for college when I could have saved money by staying in state, I transfered after my freshman year to chase someone and to play a sport even though I found that it did not make me as happy as I thought, I made poor decisions for about 9 months from last July until April of this spring, and I spent the summer away from anyone and everyone that I knew pretty much. If I can say one thing, it is that I like to test myself and see where it leads me. I spent much of my summer busy and filling the rest of my time with pointless games and trips to six flags but I also met people who have impacted me and made me want to further myself with Christ because they see something more inside of me than I already am. I think I have said this before but the impact you have on people's life means a lot more than what you do for yourself no matter how great you think you are. In our walk with Christ, we focus too much on ourselves and saving ourselves that we leave others out in the cold. I watch To Save A Life a couple times in the past week and in the movie one of the characters named Jake asks in reference to God and church, "What is the point of all of this if you are not going to let it change you." Do we just go to church to say that we have done our good deed for the week or are we letting it transform us and are we letting our personal time with God transform us. Are the people we are closest to dying in front of our very eyes while we are caught up in ourselves and whether we are okay? I wish I could say that I am always reaching out to those around me and my friends who are dying because I care but in reality I feel like I am too big of a screw up to help them. It is not my job to help them, it is my job to point them to the answers so they can figure it out for themselves. I have to tell them that I am not perfect and that I struggle just as they do but I am willing to try and cast that aside and let Christ pick me up because of the price that he paid for me. I said today, progress is not perfection, it is working toward being the best that I could ever be."

Romans 10:14-15 states, "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!' " God understands everything that we face and he wants to help us move past being all about ourselves so he provides a way for us to share his word with people. He knows people are going to view us as hypocrites but that is because they are too ignorant to understand what it means to be a Christian. In Titus 2:7-8 we are told, "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us." We have to believe the things we tell people otherwise they are going to think we are crazy to expect them to follow it. We all make mistakes and I do not believe that people should only listen if you "practice what you preach" especially when it comes to the bible because it is not you telling them to do something because you set the rules, it is you informing them of the rules that God has set forth and just because you do not follow them does not mean that nobody does. Once again if you are actively pursuing what God has and you are moving away from a certain lifestyle that is one thing but if you are complacent with living in sin and still try to preach against it, then you are in the wrong and you need to find yourself on one side of the argument quickly. It is not all about reputation so to speak, its about doing what is good for others and reaching out to those in need. If there is one thing I have learned this summer, it is that I need to continue working at things myself but I need to be reaching out to those who might not be as fortunate as me or might need someone to just care about them. I will not be perfect at this but I want to improve and I am going to be working at it this year because I feel that reputation is too much of a cop out for people just because they want to be perceived as "normal" or the best.

I am going to try and stay up to date with the blog but as you all see I am more sporadic than I used to be. I need to make this more of my regular routine with Christ and praying before and after I post. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them. Pray for me as I am praying for those of you whom I know read this. May God continue to lead you and bless you everyday.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Beginning

I have been trying to let God speak to me lately. I have distracted myself a lot this summer and I need to spend some time alone during this last week or so that I have to myself. It is in the silence that I can grow and it is when nobody is around that I can really take a good look at who I am and what I want to become. Those feelings that you carry around come from within and when you are constantly going with the flow, it is easy to be influenced by what others want and where they are going. Just take a step back, look at what God has made and say that it is good. God's plan is bigger than anything we could ever imagine and when it begins to take place, it is the most amazing experience ever. When we try to make things happen, the situation changes and we get caught up in the big details when we need to pay attention to the small ones. Our personal interest comes to the forefront and our best interest tends to go out the window or get pushed to the side because we want to see how it all works. We ultimately get to choose what to do with our life and that is the coolest thing that I can think of when it comes to living life. We are entrusted to make the right decision by the one who created us, how many things can you say get to do that? Anything ever created is just serves a purpose and if it does not meet the standards, it is pushed to the side or discarded. God gives us the opportunity to serve our purpose, we are not broken and hopeless toys that can never be fixed, we are hopeful and persevering people who have a savior who mends the broken areas of life so that our decision can be made complete. When it comes down to it, we hold eternity in our hands and what you do with that gift sitting on the table is your choice. We have the offer of a gift that leads to life and we have no idea where exactly it takes us or we can get up and walk out the door and live a predictable and sinful life. We have the option because he trusted us from the beginning.

God created the earth and he said all of it was good. When he created man and woman, he told them that they would rule over everything. God gave Adam and Eve the power to take care of everything because he trusted that they would be wise and follow the right path. His plan was more special than we can imagine today because had the fall of man not taken place, we would be in the garden walking and talking with Jesus everyday. As it is now, we can still walk and talk with him but only in his spirit until the day of his return. In his sight, we are precious and he does not want to lose us to the one who could not destroy him. We must remain focused and grow closer to him everyday so that we can continue to take care of the home that he has entrusted to us. Do not give the devil a foothold, a man reaps what he sows...

I am a firm believer in making amends with God and living a life that reflects his nature. If you are living in sin, there is hope, just keep working at it everyday. If you are following him and walking with him everyday, then do not give up during the battle because it is no fun to have to take a step back. You have worked so hard to achieve where you are at and do not let the enemy make you believing any of his lies and get you to slip up. Just like when God created everything and it was good, you are good in his eyes and one lapse of judgement can send the whole thing into a spiral (Adam and Eve, then Cain, later on Judas, etc...). Where the road leads is up to us, it is our story to write and we cast the characters. Just because you are the star does not mean that you have to be at the center of every scene, just make sure your influence carries others in the right direction. Let the motivation for your script come from the one who put you in the situation to write this story and trust that what he brings to you is the best material that has ever been imagined. Its not about how long the story is, its about the lasting impact the story has on those who took part in it and who hear about it. It will not be the perfect story but it will be unique and it will have its great moments. The shift from the bad moments to the good are the heartfelt times in which you know something special just took place. Take these moments in and seek first everything that is good so that the story remains positive until the end.

Let God work in your life. If you need prayer, ask for it. If you need to pray, do not hesitate. Feed yourself with the wisdom of his words and act on it. Please pray for me and pray that God continues to use me. Thanks for all your support and prayer.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Sincerity

Have you ever apologized to someone just to try and clear the air or to make yourself feel like a better person? I know that people do it everyday because they feel obligated to say something to someone they feel they have wronged. It is humbling to come out and say you were wrong or that you hurt someone because your intentions were wrong. The truth is that sincerity is the only way to make things right and it is more than just the act of sounding sincere, it is showing that a change has taken place to ensure that the same scenario will not unfold in the future. If you apologize a thousand times and never are sincere about it, you are making the situation worse. Trust begins to break and over time a relationship can fall apart. I have experienced this first hand and it is a tough pill to swallow every night. What is done is done and the only way to progress is to step up and change how you handle things in the future. You cannot expect different results when the cycle is the same every time around. When you do the laundry, the only way to get a stain out is to work it out with some cleaner and maybe use a double wash cycle, you have to be careful not to dry the fabric before the stain is removed because then the stain might bond with the fabric and the reminder is left every time you put it on. When one realizes that they only way they can help themselves is by letting Him help you, then they have reached a point that could never be reached no matter how many times they talked to someone who could help them. Anyone can point you in the right direction but until you move in the right direction, they are of no value to you at all. Ultimately we control our destiny and if you make amends and are sincere, you will go further than you could have ever imagined.

Israel had tons of trouble in the Old Testament and God knew just how much they were playing with him. He tried over and over to provide them with what they needed but he ended up getting the same result from them. They would complain and turn away and then in the heat of the battle they would turn to him. Hosea 7:13-16 states, "Woe to them because they have strayed from me! Destruction to them, because they have rebelled against me! I long to redeem them but they speak lies against me. They do not cry out to me from their hearts but wail upon their beds. They gather together for grain and new wine but turn away from me. I trained them and strengthened them, but they plot evil against me. They do not turn to the Most High; they are like a faulty bow. Their leaders will fall by the sword because of their insolent words. For this they will be ridiculed in the land of Egypt." When people do not know which side of you they are going to get, you become foreign to them and dealing with something unknown pushes a lot of people away. Other people just get sick of the same stuff over and over because they know that you are doing just enough to get by. This may work with most of your friends but God knows what is going on and if you do not straighten up and start pursuing your relationship with him and allowing him to speak into you, then you are headed for a dark path, myself included. If I have to tell myself to not force it one more time then I might lose it because I always find myself pushing the situation and then I feel left out in the dark when it is all said and done. God's plan should be all that I need but I cannot take ahold of it when I'm in a constant struggle to just be within reach of him. The war is raging, the clock is ticking and sooner or later someone wins. You cannot wait for the clock to reach zero to decide because at that point it is too late. One side is winning and there are no ties so whoever is ahead at the end is going to take possession of the most sought after prize in the universe, your eternity.

Sincerity is tough and repentance is a daily battle to overcome the sin in which you once lived. Walk everyday with him and he will give you the strength you need. Be grateful for what you have, thank him for what you receive, and never lose sight of what is in store. He is always watching not because he wants to catch you but because he loves you and wants to help you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Respect

I have to a confession and God has already dealt with me about it. There are times when my respect for other people's feelings and women has been very low. When I struggled with pornography, it was degrading to women and I still remember the punishment that was poured out on me by my mother but I know it was in love and too make me understand that it is not just the act of looking at it that is bad but what it represents as a whole. An industry to make money off of people who are willing to basically commit adultery on film. I have looked at some girls in ways that I should never have and I have hung out with girls just because I thought they were good looking. Yeah maybe in some ways you would call me shallow and in most cases I would deserve it. Problem is most guys are like this and most are unwilling to admit it. I am not saying I am better than them but I think if guys would recognize a problem and address it, then we could begin to scale back the issue in our world. Women are precious gifts from God and they should be treated as such. Just because you are married does not mean that you wife immediately becomes an object because God says its okay to engage in a physical manner with her. God still has standards on fun but it is not because he wants to be mean, it is because there is a sacred aspect to the act and God wants to keep it holy but also make it enjoyable. Men, just because you do not do anything with a woman before marriage does not make you guilt free. Looking and SPEAKING about women in a derogatory manner is just as bad as the real thing because it is going through your head and you are telling others what your thoughts are. For goodness sake, have some manners and address a girl using ma'am, pull her chair out for her, open the car door, open the restaurant/building door. Talk to her like a human being and not just as someone who you "deserve" to be with. In actuality we all deserve to be alone but because of the compassion of God, we have been given companionship to build each other up and be rooted in love. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Another thing I am guilty of is not fulfilling promises, especially to girls. Men, if you tell a girl you will do something or will not do anything to harm her spiritually or physically, then you better follow through. Trust is one of the toughest things that humans can do for one another and when you lay out empty promises then you are just hurting yourself and the person you were committed to. First, you lose your integrity and trust because nobody can believe the things you say and they will think you are classless because you just do not know how to back the things you say you will do. Secondly, the other party gets hurt because typically your promise was something that would build strength and foundation in the relationship and now you have completely ruined it. Lastly, the other person either finds out that this is the way you are and accepts it, thus lowering their standards or they have to lose someone they possibly love because they have to stand up for their themselves and say they are not going to go through the same old stuff again. Unfortunately the case falls in the first category in which the standards are lowered and then another promise is made and it falls through, thus creating an endless cycle of "victory", defeat, and pain. "It is better not to vow than to make a vow an not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, ' my vow was a mistake.' Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God." Ecclesiastes 5:5-7. Can I take back all the pain that I have caused myself and others? No, can I ask forgiveness? Yes! I will make the necessary steps to make changes and get better but in the meantime I can only do my best to be respectful and gain the trust of others by taking care of all my business.

I hope you all had a great day and that you enjoy reading this. God is doing some amazing things in my final weeks here in Georgia and I am very excited about it. Please keep praying for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Pushing

The Lord has been dealing with me lately and he has given me some great people to talk to. My roommate next year is going to be the best one I have had yet. Not only do we play baseball together but we can sit for hours and talk about many different things even theological topics. I am growing each day and seeing exactly what God has planned for me. I have found that I am much better at helping others than I am at helping myself. For some reason I can give advice and make people see things differently but I cannot seem to see things differently for myself ever. If someone wants me to try and help them fix their problems, I can assess the situation and give them pretty good advice, I cannot say I am always right but I try to give people a new perspective on what they are going through. I have no formal biblical training so to speak but I try to find anything that I can use to help people in their time of need. Of course I would never be able to do it without God and I know that he gives me the words to speak to people and part of that is seen based on what I write here. I get people who thank me for what I do for them but to be honest it is not from me and it is not all that great. Basic biblical verses are all it takes to understand certain situations and how to deal with them. When times get tough, these are the times we especially need to go to God. We cannot just discern things through prayer because we do not always hear the voice of God. We need to be in the word and we need to listen to what he has to say to us so that we can figure things out. Turn off the noise of life and just begin to take in what God has for you. Do not give into the pressure anymore, do not settle for not knowing what to do and just walking blindly into something without having faith. Trust God and let him lead your steps throughout life, he will not disappoint you if you continue to follow him.

Psalm 86:1-4 states, "Hear O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in you. Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul." Sometimes I feel like I just cannot hold onto things long enough or I chase after the wrong things. Usually I am left feeling like things could have worked out more in my favor but I know that I have a tendency to force things and I end up screwing them up. I know I need patience in most situations but I feel like I have to push to get things done or it will never happen. However, God is so amazing at making me feel better when I go through a rough time and I am usually left with a sense of growth after coming through an uncertain time. I am glad that God has blessed me with being able to talk to people and be very transparent but there are times in which I feel that ends up hurting me more. I do not doubt God's plan and the characteristics he has given me though so I will just do my best to trust that it is a positive thing in my life and that he will continue to be my strength throughout the process. True character comes out when nobody is watching and when you are alone for the summer and cannot get a break, your response should be the number one thing that you look at. Do not condemn yourself by making a mistake because you are upset things did not work your way, instead work towards God with every passing moment and turn the focus on him and what he can do for you. God is prepared to hear your call to him when you are unsure of what to do and he is always willing to assist. We need to always be prepared to receive. I think the number one reason we miss things from God is because we are too preoccupied with other things and then we complain that he did not hear us. The truth is that we just left the gift unopened on the table and did not even recognize it was there.

I hope that everyone had a great day and that God is continuing to do great things in each and everyone of you. Please continue to pray that my last month here goes well and that God really speaks and prepares me for the upcoming year.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Losing

We spend most of our lives chasing things that will never be in our grasp. We try to attain this special status and our goal is to have everything we ever wanted. The only problem with that is that we tend to have the perfect life and we expect everything to work out right then and there. The truth is that we can never have everything fall according to planned and sometimes it leads to disappointment. In some cases it may seem like you just found what you wanted and everything is going great and then suddenly you lose any type of hold that you had on it. We find ourselves losing stuff more often than not in life and letting go even after a short time can be a very tough thing to do. As a baseball player, I know that my goal for my team is to win a championship every year. Some years this seems perfectly reasonable and other years we would be crazy to think this way. If we lose a ton at the beginning of the year, our chances of even making the playoffs become slim and disappointment can come early and we know for a fact that we cannot make it to the postseason. Other years it comes down to the last game of the year to decide. Sometimes the pain of defeat is much better being felt early in the year because to have come so far and to fail sometimes causes more pain than just losing early. Same goes for the playoffs, when a team loses in the first round it is crushing but if you lose in the championship, you knew that it was definitely within your reach and it just slipped out. In life we deal with new situations everyday and sometimes it is hard to let people go or we fail to live out our life for Christ one day. The more and more you do something, the more painful it is to let go of it but there is peace and comfort. The pain is temporary and in the end you will be stronger because of it. You cannot let the status dictate the overall mood of your life. The effectiveness of a situation needs to be limited to minor jumps in emotion because whether it is a positive or a negative, it may only be temporary and it can quickly change. Celebrate the good times and know that the pain will not last forever.

Yesterday in church we talked about forgiveness in the story about Joseph but I think that we can gain another thing from this story. No matter what happened to Joseph, he remained faithful and he never let his circumstances get the best of him. He was favored and the shortly after he was cast out by his brothers and sold into slavery. Then when in Potiphar's house he felt like he was well taken care of and that he could not be in a better situation and then he was accused of adultery and put in prison. While in prison he had hope that he would be released by then the servant forgot about him only to later remember him and have him freed. Then after that, Joseph had to deal with his brothers coming back and asking forgiveness and putting him in a tight spot because of how they had treated him and seeing that his brother's truly did love him but they were just jealous of him. As you can see, Joseph had people come in and out of his life and his status changed quite a bit in just a short period of time. Thorough it all, he kept a good heart and it all worked out in the end. I feel like a lot of times I get too confident or too overjoyed by a situation and when it backfires then I really feel like the disappointment is all a result of me making it more than it really was. God has given me opportunities recently and I feel like some doors have closed but I am truly thankful for what he is doing and I know that if it is his will, it will all work out in my favor for the end. With a new school year coming up, I know I am going to meet new people and I will see old friends and with some of them there are things to talk about and with others we will have our conversations throughout the year and we will have things to deal with. Just try your best to understand the situation and not carry it out of context.

PLease keep praying for me and I will pray for all of you. I hope that God is moving in and around you. Keep seeking him with all you have.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson