Remember

I spent the first half of my summer moving on from a past relationship and as much as it hurt, I found out that it was possible and that I was better off in the end. I hurt myself so much over the last few years and tore down some of the structures that had been put into place for my protection and enjoyment. I wish that I had been more obedient and not made such a fool of myself but we make mistakes and we move on. As much as I try to beat myself into the ground because of it, God has placed people in my life to tell me that it will be okay and that I have left scars but those who love you will see the scars and feel remorse rather than condemn. Life is a lot easier when you follow the rules even though it seems easier to break them. I find so much joy in worshipping God outside of church and I wish I could let him use me every second of everyday but I still have not found it in myself to give him that type of authority in my life. The sooner I do it, the more likely I will be to succeed in all areas and I will make life easier for myself as well as those that I come into contact with. I am tired of feeling like everything I do leads to problems for myself and those around me. I know I am not a failure and I know that I do not cause problems but when you are constantly screwing up, it seems like you have no other option but to believe that. It is amazing how long it can take to change when you know something to be true. Why would you know the truth and believe it but not let it make a difference in who you are and what you do? You can sit on the most precious gift of all and look for joy in other places because you are too afraid to open what you have an see what it can do for you. Listening to your heart is the best thing you can do but the toughest part is finding a way to hear it because your brain likes to mix the signals and tell you other stuff. This leads to going down the wrong road because you cannot find what you truly desire. I believe that most people who do not know Christ only go down the wrong road because they do not know what they truly desire, they have an idea but what their brain tells them is not the truth they are looking for.

Romans 13 talks about loving for the end is near and how we need to be prepared for the times ahead because it is uncertain how much time is really left for us all around here. Nobody knows what tomorrow brings and too many times we dwell on what we expect to come rather than where we are now. Chapter 13 verse 11 picks up saying, "And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed The night is nearly over, the day is almost here. So let us push aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Now is not the time to sleepwalk for Christ and think about yourself as I said last night, we must be actively seeking His kingdom and seek to increase the numbers in His kingdom. The last verse really resonates with me in that it says do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Too many times i try to figure out how to get away with sin or I just think that I am good because I have not sinned in awhile and grace can increase for me. The opposite is true, the bible asks if we should continue to sin so that grace may increase and the answer is, "absolutely not!" I wish I were perfect but all I can do is continue to work at being the best I can so that I can continue to help those that I come into contact with. I cannot live a completely blameless life but I can do my best to follow everything that God has commanded me. If I am able to do all those things, then I will know that I have lived life to the fullest and that I have no regrets to fall back on. I sit here and think about where I have been and where I am going and all I can do is remember what Christ did for me and try to think of what I have done for him lately.

I hope you all have a good rest of the weekend. I am continuing to pray for all of you and I will do my best to keep posting daily because I really am encouraged by this blog and I hope that you are too. Please leave a comment or question if you have one because I really would like some feedback and be able to talk to people about this.

God bless,

Joseph Robinson