Day 25

These long days of no sleep are really taking a toll on me and last night proved that to the max. I am usually able to survive with just a little bit of sleep and just am tired all day but the next level was reached at about 2 AM last night. I headed to bed around 1:15 and was prepared to get a good night sleep with classes coming early in the morning but someone had something else in mind for me. I had a series of dreams in a 45 minute period that led me to believe that Satan was trying to tear me down and I am very positive that there were demonic forces at work in my apartment and trying to attack my mind because I am continuing to grow in the Lord. I am at a point where I finally have gained the upper hand with God and Satan was and I believe is not ready to give that up and last night might have just been the beginning in a series of attacks to come against me. I was able to talk with my Dad last night and we discussed the ramifications of my growth in Christ over the last several weeks and I told him a little bit about the book I am reading and we came to the agreement that the devil is not happy with my progress and he is trying to get me to back down from where I am at. I could have just tried to whether the storm alone but I knew where I could go to for help and prayer and my family did not fail me. I felt at peace when I was talking to my sister and my dad and I would not have made it through the night without their help because I definitely needed support from somewhere other than within me. I needed to reaffirmed that there were forces working in my favor at the same time and that though I got a nice little scare, I was able to overcome because of the blood that was shed for me at calvary. I do not know if I will have more stories like this but I remember my dreams vividly and I definitely only want to remember the ones that are from God and show the victory. I will say that it is nice to be reminded of the forces working against us in the universe, it puts into perspective just how real and important our every day battle is.

I keep thinking about my road to recovery and how important it has been to me and I was discussing that with my dad last night as well. He made the point that I have been predestined to do something amazing and as I continue on in the will of God, it will be seen to completion no matter what may come against me along the way. I am not willing to let my choices carry me away from the will of God because I know that what He has planned for me is the best course for my life. I am not going to let some disturbance in the spiritual realm coerce me into giving up everything that I have fought for in Christ, it is my turn to take the upper hand in this battle and I know that God has been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. Ephesians 1:11 -12 states, "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." This verse was exactly what my father and I were talking about last night. There is so much potential for us as Christians but it is our job to harness what God has given us and to use it to the best of our abilities. I have been battling to do this for several years now and I will not be overtaken by the craziness of life. Jesus battled through time management, fatigue, hunger, restlessness, etc... So I know that I can overcome these things and allow God to use me in spite of all the "trials" I face. I have been given a wonderful opportunity and I am seizing it. I have disturbed the delicate balance of the spiritual realm around me and I must say that it feels good because it means that I must be doing something right.

I hope you all had a great day, I really need to try this sleep thing because it is really getting to me in the mental sense. I need to be mentally strong and I have a tough time with that because my mind is exhausted several hours into the day without any sleep to sustain itself. Please pray for me regarding this issue.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson