Day 1

Well, it has been a rough week. Guess when you do not wake up to any of your previous alarms, somebody has to wake you violently to get your attention. I feel like I am in a similar place I was in at Kansas State. I am very dry spiritually and I need my thirst to be quenched like no other. I hunger in my soul but my flesh wants only what is tangible. Self-destruction has begun but there is still time to recover. Only time will tell what the outcome is but I feel like it is time to actually start over. I challenged myself at Kansas State to grow everyday and seek God first in my life and I know that I benefitted greatly from it. When I got distracted, I got into the pattern that I have been in for almost two years now and it has been almost completely destructive with some nice patch work to make it look nice. I know God is working but at times I feel like I have put a hold on the construction because what I want is more important. I know the LORD will provide for me and he will watch over me but I feel like he is fed up with my behavior and like Saul, I needed a radical event to turn things around. I have been depriving myself and others from the fullness of God and it is up to me to allow him to shine again.

Psalm 32:8 states, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." During this time period, I have walked of the pathway that God has set before me, I stopped listening to my guide. I have ignored my advisor but he has still watched over me. He has put me in a situation where I have to choose between the kingdom or the world. He has given me another chance and what I do with it will determine who I ultimately become. This is a pivotal point in my life and I feel like it will change who I am forever. When will it end? The answer is when I put it to rest. When will I overcome what He said I could overcome with his strength? The answer is when I finally choose to overcome it and stop living as if I do not know him. The Biblical standards set forth are not just guidelines or morals, they are written law and a means in which to live by. Violation of those rules by any standard leads to immorality and sin. Sin brings the need for atonement but still ultimately leads to a physical death. Good news is that we have hope for spiritual eternal life, bad news is that it is a process and it is going to be a constant struggle.

My challenge is to go 30 days (at least). If I do not post by 11 PM on any given night, please inbox me or post a comment on the previous day's post so that I will be held responsible. I need people to push me otherwise I can fail. In all this, please do not give up on me because I need people behind me and convincing me that I can take it to the next level.

I am still praying for all of you and I hope you will continue to do the same for me.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson