Letting Go

I have spent the last 14 months in a rut, always trying to be better but never allowing God to do work in my life. I wanted to be better but I just kept using my own strength and I kept failing. I made poor decisions and hurt myself deeply but the past is the past and it is time to move on. When something is holding you back from going in the direction that you truly want to go, you need to let it go and just stay focused on the most important thing in life. People will cut you up and tear you down but God will always remain constant even when we run. It cannot always be a waiting game with people on earth, if they split from you then you just count your losses and move on. We should be glad that God does not do the same with us, otherwise we would be in the deepest trouble that we could ever imagine. I have spent so much time in over my head and forgotten why I am here at North Central University, I have been blinded to it the whole time and it ends tonight. I sat in PG tonight and realized what I had done today (Classes, Baseball, Homework, Worship). I am just like every other student here except for I got to do the one thing I love in between what most students here would do on a normal Wednesday. I went from being an athlete for my school to being just another face in the crowd worshiping God for who He is and what He has done in me. It is when we realize that we are no different from others, that we begin to see just how much we have to do and exactly what we have to do. I could not believe this realization because I just was in awe that I had not thought of it before. I am always trying to solve other people's problems that I forget about my own and the problems of mine that I have tried to fix in the past 13 months have been ones that I did not truly want to fix in my heart because of selfishness and deceit on the end of Satan. What difference does it make if you made a mistake? Learn from it and move on, that is the only way that you will get stronger and not repeat the same problems. I left it all on the altar tonight and I am content with moving on. I have been walked on for too long and I refuse to let it happen anymore. I am chasing my dreams and going after what I have been called to do, if you do not like it then too bad because it is my life and it is God's plan for me. I have been a leader on the field and off the field but in my personal life I have slipped and it is not fair to my teammates or to my coaches who have trusted me to be a fully devoted man of God and for that, I am sorry.

2nd Corinthians 5-11 states, "If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent -- not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient enough for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven -- if there was anything to forgive -- I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes." I need forgiveness not just from God but from those around me for being foolish. I have tried to be corrective in my nature but I have just been unable to do it and I want to do everything I can to make things right. Please understand where I am at and help me through this difficult time. Only God can heal wounds and I know that he has begun to do so. I am eager to chase after him with more than I have been able to and I am excited to see where it leads me. I think he is beginning to open up paths to me but we will see where it leads over the next several years, only God knows and he is in control.

Please continue to pray for me and I will continue to pray for all of you, please let me know if there is anything specific that you might need. Keep seeking him daily!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson