Me?

Well, things seem to be going down hill and I just cannot seem to figure much out anymore. I have gone from loving where I am and enjoying everything to not knowing what to do or where I will end up. I know that the decisions I have made have been for the better but in some ways I have to wonder if I should have thought things through a little more. I try so hard just to disappoint myself and I find that sometimes you have to make an adjustment and adapt to what is going on in order to get by. There is definitely a process that needs to occur in order for things to go as planned and when you do not think things through, they come back to bite you. I never thought I would be in this position and I thought I would be happy with where I am but right now I am just trying to see the good from all of it. I am trusting God with everything and am waiting on his timing but it is hard and sometimes I get a little impatient. Sometimes I wonder why he picked me and what do I have to do with his plan but I quickly remember that I was created in his image and he has made me into who I am and who I am becoming. He has blessed me and has provided and I will not worry about where he will lead me next. I have faced bigger challenges but now just seems a little inconvenient but I know his timing is perfect and I will get through this.  The time when we can grow the most is when we are searching for that one thing to bring us through and when we seek the answers. God is in control and he knows what he is doing, all I need to do is trust him and things will be fine.

Today I went back to something I have not done for awhile and I just felt led to go somewhere else other than the devotional book so I opened up to Exodus 3 starting at verse 11 and ended at Exodus 4 verse 14. I am not going to type it out but I will break it down and illustrate. There are times when I wonder if I am doing what I am supposed to do, I feel as though I am not the right person for the job God has called me to do, I tend to overanalyze things and I know this contributes to the problem. The thing is that God knows what he is doing and he will make it clear to us that we are supposed to follow what he has planned. Moses questioned God by saying "Who am I that I should bring these people out of Egypt" and God told Moses that he will be with him and that he will take care of everything. Moses goes on being skeptical and is fervently trying to overrule God and provide every excuse for wiggling his way out and God keeps providing a way for him to overcome any opposition. See God wants me to trust him but I guess I am just having a hard time. I feel like every time I screw up and sin that I am not able to follow God's plan and he must have the wrong person. It is an excuse to throw at God because I know he is not pleased with me when I sin but at the same time he is telling me that I just need to follow his word and stop screwing up so I can stop making excuses. If I never had any problems then I could say that he is pleased and I am definitely fit for what he is calling me to do. Moses finally gave in and said that we would do what he could for God because he was trusting him and believing that everything would happen according to planned. We see that toward the end of Chapter 5 and the beginning of 6 that Moses comes back questioning the Lord about why things are getting worse and God replies by saying do not worry, I have not forgotten about my covenant, I will continue to take care of you and the Israelites. Moses felt like he was lonely and nobody would listen to him but people will listen when you have a word from God, God will make sure that people listen because it is his way of communication (speaking to and through others). I know my questioning will make me look like a fool one day when I look back on life but it will only strengthen me and confirm my faith.

Sorry if this seemed like a rant but I have been having a rough few days and am struggling trying to pull through. I know that everything will be okay and I will be stronger after this, I am just trying to figure things out. Hope everyone had an awesome day and I hope to talk to you all soon. 

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson