Selfishness

I have been thinking a lot the past few days about how much effort I put into things and whether I am just doing things for my benefit or for the benefit of others. Am I just building myself up with Christ as the foundation and then just building the rest out of sand? Am I putting up a canvas that can be changed frequently and just using the foundation  because I know it will hold? The second one not so much but the first one I know is a problem. I keep building on top of the foundation but it keeps getting washed out because I have not built solid walls and they are susceptible to blows. I find that every time I build one it seems to come crashing down not long after. This is solely my part. I will say that I spend about 16 hours or so awake everyday (if not more) and I only live about 13 or 14 hours of those for Christ. The other few hours are me pulling my guard down and being vulnerable to the attacks of Satan. Once again, not something I am too proud of but I know that God is moving through me and with me and I am trying to stop acting stupid and get with the program 100%. If I keep leaving little holes open, Satan is going to rip a big hole in that wall and try to pull me out and it is only a matter of time. In the next few days I will be starting my transfer paperwork and continuing to seek God's plan for my life and I have to say I am excited. I left a lot behind in Arizona and if I end up going back, it is because I have unfinished work there that I should have taken care of before I left. I have been praying for 4 of my friends back home for the past 3 1/2 months now and praying that God would open a door for someone to minister to them and maybe bringing me home would be the opportunity for me to finally do something about it. When I started this blog I knew it was for me but I know that God was calling me to start something that would allow my friends to see a change in me and ask questions. Unfortunately I do not get many comments or questions as people just read. Though it does get discouraging at times, I have stuck with it and told God that this is primarily about me and him and I understand that. I have realized that I have not done enough to reach people on here and that it my fault, I have not been the best I can be and unfortunately that is showing in a few areas of my life right now but that is all about to change. It is time to step up to the challenge and make a difference.

In Genesis 13, Lot and Abram come to a point in which they can no longer live together. Both of their possessions are so great that they can no longer inhabit the same land. Their men started to argue and grow restless but in verse 8 we see, "So Abram said to Lot, 'Let's not have any quarreling between toy and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left.' Abram understood what need to take place in order for them to prosper. He was selfish and told Lot to choose where he wanted to go and then would take the other side for himself. Because of this, Abram was told by the Lord, "Lift your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you will see I will give to you and your offspring forever" I have been selfless for the most part since I started this blog but in many ways I have just been looking out for me and trying to get things done for me. I tell people that I want to do it the way that I want it done or I want things done because I am figuring things out but that is not how it works, especially within the Christian community. We are to work collectively for the betterment of the church and share ideas that are heard and considered by all in order to get things done. Lot took a big fall because of where he decided to settle and he had not surrounded himself with those that would build him up. Unfortunately I find myself in this situation somewhat. I tend to think that I have a great knowledge of what I am talking about (I do to an extent) but when people try to tell me how I can better myself and overcome certain things I tend to listen but find my way around it or tell myself I already know that. I am not disregarding other people's opinions, rather I am just saying my way is better and I keep their ideas stored in case it does not work out. I need to use my support a lot more because it is a log road and I cannot do it on my own in this world. I have God on my side but sometimes I just have a hard time using him as support as well. We need to be selfless and let others help us and we need to help others by listening and being there as support for people. We are not alone and that is why God gave us people to build us up and push us to new levels each day.

If you are not a Christian and you read this, please let me know. I want to talk to you. I will not push anything on you, I just want to find out a few things and for all I know you could be someone I hardly ever talk to and I more than likely want to get to know a little more. Everyone please just let me know if you read this, I know it is not about numbers and I have not been about that. If you have already told me that you read then you do not need to tell me again. I get minimal feedback from those who I know read so you guys are good. Everyone else just leave a comment or a facebook message, if you do not want to post or send a message, my cell number is 480-292-1754 and you can text or call me. I really want to talk to you and discuss stuff, that a way in which we can both grow as a result of these. Other than that, keep seeking God everyday and praying for him to guide you and for you to recognize how he is moving in you right now. I hope you all had an amazing day!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson