Surrender

I constantly get on here and talk about struggles. I do not want to struggle, I want to overcome the desires of this world. I know that God has something special in store for me and I am gaining access to that with each passing day. Getting to the point where I give it all to him is one of the toughest things that I have faced. I can do it on my own for so long and then I hit a point in which I run out of the will to do it and the strength to overcome. Being able to point out to Satan that there was that day in history in which he lost his bondage over me, will be one of the greatest days that I can remember for the rest of my life. I was in the cage tonight thinking about what God has laid on my heart, the things I feel like he wants me to chase after. Sometimes I think too much and I do not act when I should and it can be the same way when I am in the box and getting ready to take a swing. My flaws in my swing come to the forefront of my mind and then I take a bad swing and I feel like I just set myself back from becoming better. In the same way, I can be doing just fine in my walk with Christ and then I start to think too much and I pin myself in a corner. If I could just act on what God is telling me to do I would be all right, trusting one's instinct is usually one of the best things that can be done but it takes discipline and understanding. When I am hitting and I let my mind focus on just hitting the ball and take my mind off the flaws, I can hit the ball for what seems like a mile in the cage. It is one of the greatest feelings in the world. When God has control, I feel like nothing can go wrong. I get discouraged but he can pull me through these situations and let me know that I am going to be all right. I have roughly 2 and a half semesters left here at NCU and I have not had much success in any area except for baseball. I have fallen down many times and had a relationship fall apart but I know that God is still at work in miraculous ways. I am running out of time here and I wish you could see me as I close out what will be an amazing 15 months here.

I think I referenced David in one of my last posts and I discussed how he overcome a lot of adversity in his life to become one of the greatest men of God who ever lived. It took David completely surrendering to God in order for that to come about. Paul had to surrender everything he was to God so that God could work through him and allow his story to reach those who had followed him previously. I think we toss around the word surrender very lightly in the church and we put ourselves in a tight spot because of it. Take a moment and think about what the act of surrendering is.... If someone walks up to you with a weapon and points it at you, you will probably put your hands in the air (we call this worship in the church), you will experience fear in that moment and that fear should be what you feel everyday out of reverence for the greatness of God. It is not easy to allow someone else to control the situation but sometimes you do not have a choice. When you allow God to do what he wants and he is calling the shots, anything is possible. When we take matters into our own hands it can be a very dangerous road and escalate the situation even more. The outcome is ultimately your decision because how you respond to the situation and who controls the situation is the biggest question you will face. It is tough for us to give up that control, it is our safety and comfort but surrendering ourselves can be the most freeing thing that we will ever experience. If you know someone is going to take care of you and will give you everything that you need, why would it matter if you have control anymore? Allow someone to direct you and do some of the work for you and then the situation becomes less stressful. Sure you do not want to screw up or make the other person angry but I think that should push us to try and be as flawless as possible as we go about this very fragile situation. You cannot just say that you are surrendering, you have to allow it to happen, take your hands off of the situation and do not try to do anything fancy, just follow the directions and you have a guarantee to get out alive and to be happy.

Still no regularity in posts but I am working on it. I told myself I would not go to bed tonight without posting and I held myself to it. Hopefully I will have another one tomorrow. Please continue to pray for me and if you need prayer, please let me know and I will remember you in my prayers.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Fresh

What a long week it has been, the start of baseball practice, working a few basketball games, the semester is headed for the busy period, and another week with no vehicle. It is easy for me to get down on myself and let this world tear me apart. I was reading a post from about a month ago dealing with love and not getting upset with people as much. I have not made much progress but I am recognizing the need for change and I want to take the necessary steps to achieve that change. A few weeks ago we moved stuff around and I was hoping for my mindset to change at that point but it had not clicked in my head just yet. I tried to motivate myself last week to make some changes and yet again just could not quite figure it out in my decision making. I let my mind take over and that is when I find myself in a moment of fear. Relaxation of my mind and letting my heart control what I do is the only thing I do can do right when I actually let it happen. When my heart is in something and my mind has been suppressed, then I can achieve the goals I have set before me. When I hit in the cages, listening to music helps me hit better because it allows my mind to be taken off of the idea of taking a bad swing and just allows my body to do what it knows how to do. Thinking too much can sometimes have its downsides, we tend to find ways to justify our actions or find an easier road when we think about something too much. We take risk out of the equation over time because the reward (good or bad) makes its way to the forefront and then we act based on emotion, not on our initial mindset which is usually the correct one. I think that we do need to assess all the options in most cases. The Spirit gives you direction but be careful when something else tries to pull you in another direction. Typically the direction of the Spirit is pretty obvious but when it comes to justifying little things, the right decision might not always be very clear. Prayer and being in the word will greatly increase your chances of listening to the Spirit. Allow time and room for God to move in your life and just see what he is capable of doing for you. I can say that more often than not, you will be blessed and surprised by the power and greatness of God.

Do not be discouraged when you fail, you are going to feel bad and it may seem like you are just a screw up and cannot do anything right but this is far from the truth. We are all sinners and I believe that everyone struggles with the temptation of sin. We see in Romans 7:21-25, "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Just as I said last week, overcoming the flesh and the mind is one of the toughest things we will do in life. When we try to do what is righteous, the evil one has something or someone trying to penetrate our heart's desires. That subtle gesture or word from someone might be enough to make you listen to what your flesh is telling you and then you feel like you are right back where you started. Making progress in your faith and being able to show God that you are dedicated to his will are two of the greatest feelings that you will experience. Overcoming the attacks of the devil shows that God is in control and that you can submit yourself to God. It is a daily submission though and if you do not allow God to have control over your life everyday, you will fall down and Satan will have the opportunity to tell you that you cannot do it. Allow God to speak into your life everyday and tell you that you can make it and that you are loved, He will show you more than you could ever imagine, do not ever forget that.

Maybe I can get back on a regular schedule of posting, I keep wanting to but I still have other things that want to get in the way. My motivation is to allow God to work in me and at the same time help people. I hope these are as encouraging to you reading them as they are to me writing them. I hope you are doing well, please keep me in your prayers!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Help

I have to face it, I am struggling. I cannot seem to bring myself on here daily to make a post about something I have a passion for. I think all the right things but when it comes to making decisions I crumble. It is like being a really good student but you play dumb so that you can fit in with other people. It is not about fitting in or trying to impress people, it is a matter of eternal life and eternal suffering. If I can put that thought into action then I will be able to fully attain what God has prepared for me. I sound like a broken record, maybe it is because I am human and I make mistakes but I know there is a line between mistakes and lifestyle. It is not insanity, it is poor choices and letting the enemy overtake my mind. I want to battle but I do not make a very formidable opponent because I cave under the pressure. I know the abilities I possess but I guess I am too bashful or afraid that it will not be enough to do what I am supposed to do. I talked with my coach last year after the National Tournament and we discussed the fact that I was an All-American and what that meant but then we evaluated my two games at the tournament after I had been presented with my award. I was not playing scared but I felt like there were people that felt I did not deserve it and I guess you could say I was playing scared in the sense that I did not want too make it easier for them to say that I really should not have received such an honorable award. I backed down in terms of confidence and self-destructed from the inside, I sort of let my team down in that sense but I was not consciously trying to play scared. It is natural for me to try and stay humble and not give credit to myself where it is due. In the same way, I feel like I have the ability to follow God closely and I have proved it to him before, I just am not sure what that looks like for my life and I know that a spotlight will be on me. I have to maintain focus that it is not to impress a girl who I think is a truly Godly girl, its not because I am in a leadership position, it is not because my friends will judge my actions if I say I am a Christian and I fail repeatedly, it has to be for me and for the purpose of fulfilling the call of Christ. I need help from others but more importantly I need to help myself come out of the dark and back to where the light shines.

Lamentations 3:19-33 states, "I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a young man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. Let him bury his face in the dust--there may yet be hope. Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace. For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men." It is nice to be reminded that while I may be struggling or suffering, His plan is still in motion and my hope in Him will not fail. Trusting him will be a process and it is going to take me overcoming my mind so that the decisions I make are a reflection of the hope that is in me and the desire of my heart, not the desires of my mind. Wisdom is utilizing the knowledge that we have to our greatest benefit and I am not very wise if I continue to make decisions that lead to destruction and fear. I think I found out this week why I am here in Minnesota for school but only time will tell. I feel like doors are being opened for me but I cannot let myself be enticed by Satan and allow him to distract me while the door closes. Marianne Williamson wrote, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." I should be conscious that I have the power to decide my fate and as such, the decisions I make will shape who I am. It is not easy to overcome yourself and the world but it is a simple as making the right decision.

I hope you all have a good day and I hope that God's light is shining on you. Please continue to pray for me and I will pray for you.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Time

Just about 48 hours and I will be back in Minneapolis and will be preparing to embark on the journey of another semester and potentially another 7 months or so away from home. The time spent at home has been welcomed and actually has felt like quite a while. At the same time, I do not know if I am as ready to leave as I have been the last few times that I have left. I think that we tend to take life for granted way to much, we believe that the people we see today will be around the next time we come home or the next time they are scheduled to visit but the truth is that we are not guaranteed of any of that. I know that a lot of us will go through a day and say there are usually not enough hours in a day but then when we have time to get things done we say we are bored or that we wish we were busy, a perfect balance is almost unachievable. Make the most of what you are given and carefully weigh the choices that you make because they may affect you for the rest of your life whether it is a long time or a very short time. Be thankful for the breath that you are given everyday because in can be taken in a flash and you may never get another chance to tell someone that you love them. I have said it before and I will say it again, our choices affect those around us whether it is directly or indirectly and we may never know exactly how our decisions do so. If you are reading this, then that means that you still have time to turn things around if you have been neglecting loved ones in your life or if you have been walking in the opposite direction of God. Take an opportunity (which may be your last) to evaluate what is most important in life and re-prioritize your life accordingly, the choice is yours.

There are many examples from the Bible of people who had to make choices that would not only affect them but also those very close to them. There are also instances where people chose to spend time with those they loved because they knew the end was near. Abram chose to obey God when he was told to sacrifice his son. He thought the idea was a little crazy but when he had been spoken to by God, he thought to himself, 'who am I to question God?' His decision to be faithful also showed him that God always has a plan and that God will ask us to go to great lengths so that he can reveal himself to us in extraordinary ways. Abraham was then blessed and told that his descendants would be numerous and they would be God's favored people. Had Abram failed to obey initially, he would have never seen what God had for him and we do not know what would have come of the many nations that came forth after him.

Jesus spent his final days with those that were most dear to him. Most of his time was spent with his disciples and he even had a meal with them where he explained the logistics of what was about to take place. He spent time with the Father in prayer and petition even though He knew that He was going to see Him soon. Jesus understood who could provide comfort to Him and He knew that his disciples would be there for him. They were the closest friends that He had on earth and He had spent countless hours with them sleeping in the weirdest places, touching lives, and facing many hardships. Jesus wanted his closest friends to know that he cared about them and He showed them that even when it was all coming to an end, they were the ones He trusted to be there for Him until it was all over.

Time is one of the most precious things we have been given here on earth and it is important for us to value that time and utilize it to the fullest. Take this chance to reflect on how you spend your days and whether you are neglecting people that you have every intention of loving. Please continue to pray for me and I will continue to pray for all of you! I hope you all had a good day!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Love

If you could pick one thing to have for the rest of your life what would it be? What is the one thing that you love the most? Maybe it is a material item, maybe you are thinking of a person, maybe its something that you love to do. Whatever it may be, it is probably really tough decide but at the same time you know some of the things that you love the most. No, no, I am not getting at how materialistic we are, I am trying to get you think about something that you cannot live without no matter what the circumstances. You probably think I am going to talk about fighting for something if someone is trying to take it away from you or it has just run it's course. Again, you would be mistaken as to where this post is going. If I had to pick one thing to have for the rest of my life (outside of God), I would choose my future wife. Being able to have someone to talk to and share things with and someone who is your companion forever would be really great. Knowing that the special person that God designed for you was always right by your side would be so reassuring of the awesomeness of God and how much he cares for me. Someone who in spite of all the times you got into a fight and wished they would just leave, would stick by you and understand that there are differences but things will work out in the end. One of the toughest things I have found in my life is loving people in general, especially those who do not make me very happy. I wish I could control my emotions better and love people just because they are people. At some point you do have to stick up for yourself and reprimand people but when you are constantly upset with people (like me), you have nothing but bitterness in your life and in the end it just tears you apart.

If you go into your Bible and read Hosea 11, you will see exactly what I am talking about when it comes to Love. It describes about God's love for Israel from the time they were young and talks about how he delivered them and yet they still turned against him. They knew who was doing everything for them in the desert but they did not recognize it and stand in awe of him who was providing for them. The Lord threatened so many times to destroy them but He could not bring himself carry out that punishment. The passage says that they would ultimately follow the Lord and when he called, they would follow. His roar would bring them to him with fear and trembling from all corners and then he would finally settle them. In the same way, when we have wandered away from him and He calls us back to him very sternly, we should return with fear and trembling so that he can take us under his wing. We are not completely lost when we get caught up in sin, there is always hope for us to come back until we breathe our last. Do not let people dictate where you go in your everyday life, make choices for the right reasons, do not be pressured into mistakes and walk yourself into bad situations. I am not just talking about sin, this applies in finances, what you talk about, what you watch, what you listen to, the ethics of the decisions that you make every day. If people have harmed you or if things that people do bother you, do not get angry, do your best to show compassion on them and pray for a change to take place inside of them. I feel like a lot of times we are quick to criticize when really we should be blessing that person who wronged you. Yes, it is frustrating when someone cuts you off in traffic, or does something illegal, unethical, or immoral. If I will not pray for these people then who will? We are all guilty of something under one of these categories quite often and we need prayer too! Let us keep that in mind as we criticize those around us, often we are probably the ones being criticized by others and no one is willing to help the other.

I hope you all had a great day! Gearing up for the trip back to Minneapolis in just a few days and trying to get in shape and refine my skills for baseball season. Should be a fun last few days here! God is great and I'm very happy and content right now. That means it is time to grow again and not get stuck here! Praying for all of you, please keep me in your prayers!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Hard work!

Have you ever had the feeling that you are headed in the right direction? Maybe not everything is working out how you planned it but you just feel something different, the tide is changing and going back is not an option. I am sure that at some point you have felt that way and you can attest to how great of a feeling that is. A lot of times I feel like I am alone, I can be with a group of people but I know that I'm not really liked within that circle or that they just included me so that I would not be left out and usually I have pity for myself. Being in those situations and feeling pity just makes one depressed and I am not having that anymore, I am too strong and have done too much just fall apart in the way of some circumstances. I know that at the beginning of last semester I said it was going to be different and that I was going to enjoy my time at school but that changed all to quickly. This semester I am going to try and cut down on the complaining and I am just going to go get it. I have learned that whatever you want in life, you have to fight for it and you cannot give up or get too discouraged, you are going to have setbacks and things are going to get tough but you have to keep fighting as it is the only way to achieve everything that you want. It is so easy to say what could have been with this person or that person but you have to make the most of your opportunities and if it does not work out then that is okay, at least you had a good time in the process, it was not all for nothing! You better believe that God is going to keep fighting for you until you breathe your last and he expects you to do the same for him because he loves you and he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. I am definitely going to stand up and fight for my soul and for the things I believe in day in and day out because I sit with my hands in my pockets too much and give the control to other people. I like to talk, I know this, but just because I talk does not mean I have control, its my way of trying to take control but in the end it shuts other people out. I am ready to move up and let this change come to the forefront.

Moses fought countless times for the Israelites from day 1. God told him what to do and when he tried and failed, he told God that he could not possibly be the right guy for the job. Moses kept pushing and he led the Israelites out of Egypt. He had to petition God not to destroy them all because God was fed up with everything that was going on. Moses stood and fought for what he believed in and he was not going to give up on something he had invested so much time into. I have fought to the end for only a handful of things in my life and I cannot say that they were necessarily the best things I could be fighting for but when you understand the concept and understand what it means to never give up until it is all over, it makes a huge difference in your approach to things. Jesus fought for everyone of us until he took his last breath on the cross. I believe he wanted to suffer as much as humanly possible because he wanted to make sure that what he needed to do was finished on that day in the moment that he breathed his last. Sure he petitioned God to let it pass if it were possible but I believe that once it began, he wanted it to last so that we would understand exactly how much he cares for us and wanted to see us live! He knew that He would come back in just a few days and that it would all be worth it, He knew He would not die in vain. "The punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." What a great thought, by His wounds we are healed! I am ready to tackle whatever comes at me and I am not going to give up this semester. I have a feeling this is going to be my best college semester yet and big things are going to happen, let us go on this journey together and see what comes of it!

Please continue to pray for me and if you have any comments or prayer requests, feel free to leave them. I am always willing to talk or discuss things and like I said, I get lonely sometimes. Hope all is well with everyone and hope you had a good day!

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson

Power

Lethargic - of, pertaining to, or affected by lethargy; drowsy; sluggish.

Careless - Not paying close attention to what one does; done or said heedlessly or negligently; not caring or troubling, having no care or concern.

These are just a few words that come to mind that are prevalent in my life. I would not say they apply to all aspects of my life but there are definitely some areas where stepping up would be great. However, I just am not concerned enough to move things around because nothing ever changes. Change - to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc, of (something) DIFFERENT from what it IS or from what it WOULD be if left alone. Say what you will but change is in our hands, no one else's. God knows what the future holds and he provides opportunity but ultimately our destiny is in the choices we make. We have the choice of taking the gift of life. Choice - The right, the power, or opportunity to choose; option. We have the option to live for something greater and we ultimately have the option to crumble in front of our own eyes. The need for change in the world has always been great and there are a few people who have made a difference. If you take my hand we will stand together and do what we can to make a difference. Pick me up when I fall and I will be right there when you are struggling and stumbling through the mud. We can never do it alone, we can do it with God but I believe he has also placed people in our lives to work collectively with us. Look at the great apostles and most of them had traveling partners and partners in ministry. Even Jesus had people walk with him, not only was he instructing them but he was there to pick them up when they made mistakes. How can I lay down at night and be so upset with myself that I become careless and lethargic? I can fall to pieces in my own hands because almost everything that is in my control is not even worth my time. With every passing second, I am one moment closer to my death and if there is not a preceding change then who knows what the outcome will be? God? Let me not forget where I come from and who created me. Him who hung on that tree for me and tears ran down his face as he thought about all the times I would turn against him even though he gave his life for me. Life is about so much more than heartbreak, sorrow, pity, lethargy, carelessness, boredom, tears, thinking about what could have been. It is about clinging to hope and faith that was instilled in us from the time we were little babies. It is about love, peace, and joy. It is about fighting for what you believe in no matter what the cost. You give up yourself in the search of bigger and better callings and opportunities. Satan has limited power and his reign is coming to an end, I have to stop giving him power and control. I am giving up myself but sometimes in the wrong direction. It needs to go all to God because he will restore me, not pick me apart.

Psalm 13:2-6 states, "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, 'I have overcome him,' and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord's praise for he has been good to me." The enemy will continue to triumph over you until you exercise your right to decide and you take back that control. The Lord will provide for you everything you need to combat him but you have to take ahold of the tools and go to work. Get off the ground, brush yourself off and go to work. Stop wallowing in self pity and take the necessary action for the changes to become prevalent in your life. It is not easy, if it were, then everybody would be doing it. The tough things in life are the ones that very few venture into because of the very fact that it is tough. Come to appreciate what it takes to invest time and then get something in return. A lot of times I feel like I am investing time into something after I have received something but I am trying to learn that if you invest time beforehand, the road is going to be much less travelled and easier to navigate. Occasionally there is going to be work involved because the roadblocks have been cleared on the other roads are now your job to clear on the new road. Ignore those who tell you that you cannot do it or that you are wasting your time because this is your road and it is your turn to stand up and fight for everything that you believe in.

As you can see, it has been rough. Things are not always what they seem on the surface and might even be worse underneath. However, I think that there is a fight in some people that is underestimated and it gets suppressed as a result of everything else going on. I encourage you to try and push through and overcome whatever you are facing right now because all it is doing is holding you back from who you truly are. Please continue to pray for me and comment/request prayer as well.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson