Fear

I would not say that today has been one of the best days I have had in recent memory but I guess I cannot complain too much. I got quite a bit done today and it was rather productive. Something did not go my way in one of my classes and I have been ready to fight it all day and I have been trying desperately but I realized tonight that it was not worth it and I know God is going to teach me from this and help me understand why it happened so I am okay with it and I will move on. There are times when it just seems to feel like you cannot get a break your way but God is right there and we have nothing to worry about. I begin my training rotation on Thursday and I get to observe trainers in the training room and I will get to understand what they do and learn. I am a very visual learner so I think this will be rather beneficial to me and I think it will be a good learning experience. God is preparing me for something big very soon and I am excited to get going on it when I realize exactly what it is he is doing. For all I know, he is waiting on me and I need to jump on it but if I have not taken ahold of it yet, I think it is because I have just been blind to the fact that he is working (not uncommon for me) and all it is going to take is for me to step out and say that I am ready and willing.

I have just been scared lately of what has been going on in me and I think there are things I have not been wanting to accept but I am trusting God, the problem I think is that I have not been truly loving him and there has been something that has risen from that lack of love and that is fear. Lucky for me, I have a verse that has a remedy and I can overcome this. 1st John 4:18 states But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." I am usually a pretty confident person because I know that confidence leads to a positive attitude and that keeps me happy. My classes are fairly easy but I have just been stressing a lot lately and I guess I feel like I could be doing more and I am worried that I am not doing enough to prepare for tests and whatnot. That is fear I can control and I can help myself by just studying a little each day so I do not feel like I wasted a day when I do not study.  The other stuff has just been career wise, I know I am doing what I am supposed to be doing but I am just worried that I will not make it or that I will not be good enough. I know this is the work of Satan and I cannot let it get to me but sometimes I lose sight of that and it is easy to get down. I do not know what I would do if I was not in the word everyday. God reveals so much to me everyday and I learn so much from posting and talking to a few of you. I am stronger than this and I will overcome, in 2nd Timothy 1:6-7, it states, "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." Such a great encouragement, being able to know that he has given me everything I need to get through this and all I need to do is believe in myself and believe that he can help me through. I know this weight would be lifted if I just gave it to him. When we try to do it on our own, it seems as if the weight of the world is on our shoulders and we do not know where to turn, the only answer is to God.

Have you ever though about what it would be like to be completely stress free for the rest of your life? Some of us are able to escape from things for a little while but most of the time it is just a temporary escape and then things seem to build and everything seems worse when we come back to it all. God has an answer to this if we seek him and allow him to have complete control. I know it is hard to listen to me when I say this because I struggle with it too, but trust me when i say he is speaking to me and he is speaking to you. If you think you stumbled upon this blog by chance and you just kept reading it because you want to see how many times I screw up or you just wanted to see how long I would go, that is not the real reason why you stayed. I believe that God is speaking to you every time you read a post and he is molding you into a great person and he is enacting the plan he has for your life. If you do not think this is true, ask me about it and we can talk. I would love to talk to someone about something.

I keep praying and I keep standing strong, I have built so much from my low point last week and I know I am getting near a high. God is just waiting to overflow in my life and I am seeking him so that it will be easy for him to do. Keep standing strong and step out in faith. Do not wait for the answers because they might not come for a while.

God Bless,

Joseph Robinson