Again

Well it's been a while so let me see if I remember how to do this. Since I was last on here, I finished my final year of school, finished my last year of college baseball, and walked across the stage to finish my collegiate career. It has been an exciting year to say the least. I have made new friends, reconnected with old ones, and have met the most amazing girl I think that I will ever meet. Now just because it has been an exciting year, that does not mean I have not had my share of failures, struggles, tears, and disagreements. Overall I would say this was the most difficult year of college but not on the academic level. Some friendships took a turn for the worse, trying to figure out what to do after graduation, and handling three different head coaches in six months with a team that eventually just wanted to kinda do things on their own was not what I had planned for my senior year. Everyday I try to move on towards the future but my past mistakes try to continue to haunt me in one form or another. I wish I had done more to build friendships, to go do stuff, stay out of trouble, and maybe even chase the MLB dream. Somewhere along the way I just let life get in the way of the things that I love and I have spent so much time wasted doing countless, pointless things over the last 4 years. I cherish the friendships that I made and some I was sorry to have either messed up or let get away. Though I have faced many different struggles and hurt myself as well as others on the way, I still have today to make things right. I am not guaranteed tomorrow but I know that I will trust that my future (how ever long it may be) will continue to build from where I am and not return to the same mistakes I have made. 


Through the years I have heard people say that they are not good enough to go to church or that they just simply cannot be good people but I believe that anyone who WANTS to can attain it. I have said at least fifty times on here that I have a troubled past and the last three years were probably the most troublesome. Occasionally I will try to convince myself that maybe I have fallen away from God too much or that the passion for me just maybe is not there. I feel like this is a lie from Satan and it is something I need to overcome. Good people can get caught up in the wrong things and lose focus for a period of time in life, this does not mean they are horrible people or that you should distance yourself from them because they are "hypocrites" in these times they need their closest friends the most. If you are familiar with Paul, he was not exactly the finest tool that God could use on earth but God had a plan and brought it to fruition. This man did something that in this day and age would probably have half of the world trying to bring him to justice, he was persecuting and killing Christians. Some might even say that some of the deepest and darkest pits of hell are reserved for people like this because they are doing the exact opposite of what pastors and evangelists do. There is good news in all of this though and that is where Philippians 3:10-16 comes into the picture. "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took ahold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take view of such things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." I will take a look into this verse as it pertains to me and hopefully give some general insight into it.


I find it funny because I almost find myself quoting those first few verses about knowing Christ and sharing in his death but that is usually after I have sinned and am giving a fearful attempt at asking forgiveness. I am only fearful because I know that I am not changing, I am just trying to square up with God in case he decides to take me at some point. What I really want to point out though is the next few verses. Paul, who is writing this (inspired by God), is stating that he has not even obtained this yet or to have been made perfect. I will stop there and say that there are times in which I want to be perfect. Most of the time this is why I do not post on here. I do not want to be a hypocrite so I try to become perfect before I post on here so that I can feel more holy or more inspired, I do not know. I must take ahold of this and see that I cannot be made perfect until my death and heavenly resurrection in Christ Jesus. This is not to say that I should not strive to be perfect, if you look at the next verse we see that Paul presses on to take ahold of what is head of him. It is time to forget what is behind and look to the future that is promising and holds great potential that needs to be accessed. The last thing I will point out is that Paul states we should only live up to what we have attained. In this sense, do not try to be more of a Christian then you are ready for or what God has given you. I do not have the time nor the length to describe what this means fully but if you have questions please ask. Fight, fight for what God has called you toward and do not settle for being a struggling Christian. God wants us to flourish but we have to strive for it and press on as well as press in so that God can work in us and through us.


Thank you for reading, I am feeling really good after writing this, I love to do this but for some reason cannot push myself to do it all the time. Hopefully that will change. Once again, if you questions feel free to comment or contact me.


God Bless,


Joseph Robinson